Sunday, February 12, 2006
Anguish
Argh.... I haven felt so angry and hurt for so long. Emotions just went out of control.
Everytime when I'm sad or angry to the peak, my stomach hurts. And this time, I really do. My spirit is wounded, my heart is bruised. I felt injustified and accused and humiliated and insulted and bullied. Whatever..
Yayayaya... they always make things seem like I'm at fault. Whatever.. Who wants to be in the presence of God with a gloomy look? I dun, but I was forced. How come they can show black face and I can't and I get the scolding? Yup it may seem to be over a small issue, but the way people reacted, it's a BIG issue. I felt so horrible in that environment. Had to put on a mask and act in front of the others. So yucks. I left, getting a look as though I'm despised when I dun stay back. Whatever.
They are forever right, and I'm forever wrong. Only when they need my help, then they'll be nice to me. Whatever...
No amount of apology works now. Whatever. So wat if I'm petty? Yayayaya.. My heart is pretty pretty small. FINE!!!! God is love, but I dun feel loved. My core spirit is hurt BIG TIME. Never have I felt so worst.
Even eating good food, or the thought of eating ice cream or even eating ice cream can cure me now. I know, cos I just tried them out. Nothing seem to have lifted my spirit. My parents were upset to see me in anguish, especially my dad. He's pretty upset to see me in this mess and so wanted me to get out of it. Like how? Argh..........
OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/1:00 AM}
