Sunday, November 06, 2005
A Divine Week
Indeed God knows it all.
The word which pst Kong shared during The Tabernacle bible study on Wednesday was perhaps an all-time word for me. The key to forgiveness is forgetfulness. Indeed forgetfulness. When Pst preached, I knew that "hey he's talking about me." Having lost myself in the busyness, there were times when I really lost myself. Frankly speaking, I hate it when the people around me are always asking me "So how are u doing?" My standard answer will always be "Very busy." What am I busy with? Work, tuition, school.. I lost the time for myself.
Everything I did was to make myself forget about the past. I wanna let everything go, but I somehow cant. I've tried so many times. Often I was so close to success when suddenly some stuff just stimulated those hurtful memories. All the miserable things that happened to Joseph in Genesis, yet he was able to forgive those who hurt and harmed him, cos God gave him a son named Manasseh---Forgetfulness. All along what I did was creating my own forgetfulness. That's not the way. I needed my Manasseh from God.
Forgiveness is to be offered to those who hurt us and to ourselves. It's him that I can't forget but it's not him whom I can't forgive. It's me who I can forgive. I can't forgive myself, for my foolishness to fall for him, for my stupid stubborn of not letting go, and for my stupid brain for not deleting him off from my memory bank. Most importantly I couldn't forgive myself cos I felt that I've let God down cos of a stupid mistake I made in my emotions.
Then when Pst shared that a preacher once said, "If God can forgive u and u can't forgive yourself, you are making yourself greater than God." Wow.... This is so mind blowing. I gotta forgive myself by hook or by crook cos I know God has already forgiven me. It's only me now. God, pls help me.
Yesterday Pst Kong preached a sermon about "releasing the glory in you." God created us with glory and it's our responsibility to release the full glory of God in our lives. We are the ultimate display of His glory. I am called to shine for God.
Have been thinking of setting up a business for quite some time, besides my dream of starting a cafe. But recently I've been getting down to planning and work liao. I've got a business plan and it's something which I've not share with many people. I'm starting a wedding planner business with Leona. This actually came before this week. The sermon this week further assured my decision.
Work releases the glory. I wanna work hard for God's glory. I'm determined to let this business be a success. It must and it will.
Well I've concluded that a woman like me, now needs nothing, besides God and my career. I'm determined to crave out a career for myself cos I'm called to shine. Amen.
OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/11:21 PM}
