Have been really busy the past few days. Well, tuitions, work and Emerge Conference. This year's Emerge conference was very different from the previous years. Not so much on the preaching but more on worshipping. Pastor Kong wanted all of us to focus on worshipping God. It's a very different experience. Beyond words description.
Just as Ting said, I've been crying too much, too many buckets of tears for him that I guess my tear glands got immune to my emotions. But the past 3 days, I've been crying buckets again. Not for man, but for God. Was crying so much since the 1st session of the conference.
The greatest reward I got from this year's Emerge was a deeper love for God. Felt God mending back what have been malfunctioning in me. Revelations after another, visions and dreams filling me once again.
I've been so imperfect, yet God took me in as I am. Many a times I failed Him, sometimes even badly. But nonetheless, He still loves me evermore. There were times when I turned away from Him, yet He sought me back. No one could love me more than God. The deepest thought that struck me since the conference was what would happen to me if I dun have God? I guess I wont be where I am now. I cant imagine a life without God. If I haven known Him, maybe I'll be living a purposeless and meaningless life. Yucks...
Many people I know on the outside seem ok, yet many of them are empty on the inside. Yet they dont realise the fact that what they are really missing out in life and instead they go around searching for the wrong things in life to fill up the feeling of emptiness in them, like worldly relationships, man's approvals... etc... Hello people, give urself a chance to know God. He's the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He created you way before u knew about it. Only God satisfy u and give u the answer to eternity.
O well, yet I do know that maybe some of u might wonder if God can satisfy me and fill all emptiness, why do I still feel so miserable the past 6 months. HELLO.... for ur info, me not empty lo. I was just rebellious in my spirit and stubborn and lost, yet I din dare to seek God's guidance cos I felt unworthy of it. But my thinking was wrong cos God's grace is so great that it can abound all things. I may be unworthy yet God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to redeem all my sins.
God created me to be His worshipper. Yet becos of some setbacks, I slackened myself on that. But now I'm coming back and I'm all the more determined to do it. 20 days to go. Go go Jo. I just had to set my feet right back on track in my walk with God.
Upon hearing all the testimonies of the various pastors and zone supervisors, I began to look back on my walk with God since I first began. I used to have great dreams of what I could do for God. But I gave them all up when things fell apart. But now, these dreams and passion and visions are coming back. However, I still think that I should take things slowly. God will lead and direct my path. Besides, I'm still on my way to full recovery. Soon, soon, soon.... I'll be back on my feet to fight this great fight of faith. Amen!
