Max came over to chat online earlier. One question he asked which "inspired" me to write this entry. "Hey so ur bday coming soon. Excited?"
The answer "Nah." Haven had any birthday thrills since last year. I used to look forward to birthdays since a kid and always have a long lists of things which I desire and want (although the list could nv be fulfilled completely, I was still very blessed). Remember those days with the kiddie fancy birthday parties which made my friends envy with their jaws dropped, and relatives coming to shower me with mountains of beautiful gifts. Those were the days. Had been almost a decade since I last had a birthday party with many people. Last few years have been celebrating my birthdays with my family(parents, grandparents, and uncles and aunties cum cousins) "Parties" in smaller scale though. Do I still wish for those, parties in small or big scales? I dunno.
Lost the joy and excitement in looking forward to birthdays since last year. Last year, the joy was killed cos of my A'levels result and Sheena's stepdown.
This year, I'm turning into the big "2". Most of my peers resist that, but I dun. Dun see anything bad about it. A couple of years back I was still looking forward to my 21st birthday.. Hah... That's when I can apply for a credit card. This year Chantal will turn 21 and last month she attended a few of her frens' 21st birthday parties. And she has been so excited about hers, hoping to do something special for her party. Me? I really dunno how I want my 21st birthday party to be like next year. All I wish is that on my 21st birthday, on the actual day itself I can celebrate with my boyfriend (which is in future, if God gives me one) alone.
This year am I looking forward to my 20th birthday? No. Not resisting it, but what's so special about it when there's nothing to really rejoice for with what's happening, Alex stepping down. I still remembered the last time he called me about the planning of Andy and Eddie's birthday celebration, and how we eventually crapped about the birthday celebration plans we have for each other. Now? Celebration? Nothing will happen. That was all in the past which will never become reality.
Honestly, I'm kinda sick of all the birthday celebrations which I used to have with my family. I nv celebrated one birthday without my parents, as in the actual day.
Tues nite, val msged asking if I free on the monday after our exam. Hah.. Know that the gals must be up to something. Val hardly msg me. Msg me out of the blue, surely got sth fishy la. Whatever. Still remember last year how Suetie, Gracie, Nana, Sharon dardar and Val popped up at my house at night for a belated birthday surprise. Nv had that before. Was really touched. Seriously. Thanks gals. U gals gave me a memorable birthday last year (though belated la).
Wednesday, was planning how we gonna celebrate Sally's and my birthday. Sally's one is on the 3rd which was before our last paper. So Chantal and the 2 of us plan to celebrate after our exams. Sally suggested that we go on a shopping spree when the birthday girl (who are Sally and me) picks the gift and the other 2 will pay. Whahaha... Chantal sure gonna burn a hole in her pocket. They wanted to go on my birthday itself, but sorry, cos taken by Val and gang. Haha...
Then just now at the conference Risse darling was saying wanting to go out on my birthday. Wanna celebrate for me. When I told her I'm taken, she just gave me the ignorant look. Haha... Actually I did wanted to celebrate my birthday with her, but den she long long nv tell me her plan, so I thot she not celebrating mah, so I just gave my time away lo. Then she said "We did say mah." When? With Jo and Jo ah? "Ya la. Last time we said we celebrate together mah. Argh.."
"Aiya, but u all got school mah. How to celebrate?"
"After exam le, can afford to miss school de. Or can celebrate after school mah."
Err.... Whatever now. Dunno what's the plan now on my birthday or that weekend before my birthday. No wish list. Cant really think of anything that I strongly desire for this year. But I do know that Uncle Allan bought me a pair of diamond earrings. Hee Ah Ma told me one, somemore asked me to fake ignorance ah. Ok lo.
O just remembered. I want my birthday cake from The Olive Tree from Hotel Inter-Continental. Shall go hint hint to daddy, mummy later, otherwise they got no time to go order the cake.
