Life

Sunday, January 16, 2005
Mo & Jo Mini Birthday Bash!!!

Yoyoyo... Tomorrow is our youngest Joanna's 15th birthday, and next saturday is our dearest Molly's birthday. So Joanne and I planned to celebrate for the both of them today. Save the trouble of coming out again la. The stars of the night both din know that we were celebrate for the 2 of them. Haha...

Supposed to meet Joanne and Joanna earlier to shop for Ris' birthday present, but our Miss Tan, so good ah, stay home and slack. So met Joanna to shop lo. Actually we intended to buy Ris her fave Forever Frenz Bear, but ha, since earlier on, Jo stepped on her and spoilt her sandals, the best gift for Molly would be shoe vouchers. Haha...

Then we went Mac @ Funan for dinner. Waited for our Ms Tan to come la. This girl, supposed to buy the cakes lo. Waited for her til 8plus. Argh.... She really can "tu" leh. Yesterday went shopping with her for Jo's gift also late.

So after dinner, we walked all the way from Funan to Boat Quay to Esplanade Park and finally settled down before the bridge to Esplanade.

Jo and I sneaked away to prepare the cakes and borrow lighter. Haha.. So funny... When we came out from the washroom, we were praying for the spirit of discerning to help us find the right person to borrow lighter to light the candle. Haha... Then we walked past a man who looked kinda troubled (but kind-looking la). So as we were walking back to meet the gers, both of us were saying, maybe can invite him to church... Haha...

We tempted to 2 stars to go buy ice cream while we could light the candles. So when they came back, we both were holding the cakes.

Haha.. Ris looked kinda of surprised and Jo, (think she kinda of expected it cos since tml her bday). Watever! The main thing for the day is to make the 2 of them happy, which we did.

Bought Jo a pink tee from pure milk and we forced her to put it on on the spot. And Joanne and I bought identical pairs of earrings, not forgetting another pair for Ris. So we made her put them on too.

Haha... Then we started to take photos. Haha... Everytime someone walked past, we'll push Ris out to approach the person to help us take photos.

Tonight was such a fun night, after a long week of pain and agony.

Thank God that I got my MoJoJo. Love ya gers!

Happy Birthday!

OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/10:17 PM}

Thursday, January 13, 2005
My Hair and Sorrows

Argh.......

Went shopping today with Sally and Chantal. Then finally decided to go highlight my hair. Guess the colour. Golden blonde!!!!! Well I find it kinda different. I look different. Wanted to surprise the people around me. I was so happy with my new hair colour until things took a turn for the worse.

My parents couldn't except it. They yelled and screame at me and almost wanted to disown me. Argh............. My whole world was about to collapse. I really wanted to call Alex but I know that he's kinda burdened these days. Din wanna bother him, so I went to bother Claris. But this girl cant counsel, she can only listen. So she asked me to find someone else who could help me.

Finally took the courage to call him. Somehow, I poured out almost everything that had been bothering me the whole week. He was right, that I was silly to think that I would bother him if I shared my problems with him. He taught me to see things from a different angle. No doubt I did feel better after the call, but I was kinda upset when he said that he knew that I was unhappy on Sat, but he din wanna talk to me that day cos he wanted to leave me alone to calm down myself. PIGHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was the reason that I was unhappy! Argh........

ALEX THE PIGHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/11:57 PM}

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Only Hope

"Only Hope"
[Written by Switchfoot]
By Mandy Moore (A Walk to Remember Soundtrack)

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again
So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I fell in love with this song when I was heard it when I was watching the movie 2 years ago. But only til now that I truly understood the meaning of the song in my life. I belong to God. And He's my only hope. My hope should be in God and not man. Amen.

OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/1:01 AM}

Monday, January 10, 2005
Autumn in New York

I chose to live my day aimlessly today, not planning in thinking what I was supposed or should do. Played on my piano after abandoning it for so many months and I went to re-watch "Autumn in New York".

Got many things out from that movie. It's always the case. As usual, I cried but not in buckets. Think my tear glands overworked the last 2 days.

I realised that God created Man and Woman differently. Men dun function the way women do. Men are the most insensitive, insensible and stupid animals. They dun take things seriously especially when it comes to human relationships. I'm not just talking about BGR. Unlike men, women are highly sensitive, sensible and sentimental. Women treat every single little thing with care and seriously cos women are too vulnerable to afford to make any mistakes. In most human relationships, women are always the one getting hurt; men dun cos they take everything for granted. Once hurt, it's already a fact that there's a hurt. Yes. Hurt can be healed and nursed. It'll recover. But we cant deny the fact that the hurting process did take place.

Then it got me thinking again. Life is a journey, not a destination. Even the way to Heaven is a journey. But there are many stop points and pit stops along the journey. Well, the earthly or worldly destination is our funeral. I always resent the idea of funerals and thoughts of death. Somehow, I think my brain is rebelling against my wish.

I remembered that when I was in sec 4, our VP, Miss Ek once shared that in order to determine the start of our success, we must first picture our end, which is our funeral. I started to think about my funeral. Not how it wont be, but who would be at it?

What if I were to be like Charlotte? To die at such a young age. Will I have regrets? I guess Charlotte died without regrets cos at least she lived her life the way she wanted it to be and spent her last days with the man she loved. Me? There are so many things which I haven try or experience. I know I will die with regrets if I were to die now. I'm only glad each day now that no matter what happen, I am able to wake up each day with a pretence of nothing happen. If I were to be dying, I wanna be like Charlotte. I dun wan the people around me to worry about me. I want them to be happy too. I'll be sad to die although I know that I'll be going back home to Heaven, it should be happy. Yet there are so many things undone and worries too. What will happen to my parents?

I tried to visualise who would be at my funeral. I know my relatives will all be there. Daddy and mummy will be sad, but they will eventually pull through since they still got Cheryl and Shawn to cheer them up. All my school best frens, from primary to uni, will be there. MoJoJo, Sheena and Angel will be there too. I can visualise that they will all be silent. That's it. I dun wish to think anymore.

God, if Your will is for me to go, take me home Lord.

OH, i'm so in love with victorian at {/10:46 PM}