The whole world is a deception. Even I myself, the people I meet and the people around me are deceptions. I lost in the world of deception. No one seems really. Every one wears a mask to hide their true self each day. I'm guilty of that too. For better or for worse, deception is the greatest mistake of the world.
Only God is true and real. Only God is omni-potent and great. No one really cares what's happening on earth. So many headlines hit the newspaper each morning. How many people bothered to care about them? Let alone the small issues of others which each of us comes across each day. But God cares.
I cried bitterly. I wept. No one cared. Only God did. He came to me in kindness. picked me up and comforted me. I know He's always there, esp when I've broken. Where are those people whom I thought would care and comfort? Guess no one is there. The one whom I could trust, I hurt him so deeply that I cant turn to him. I dunno how to face him now.
Dun pretend to be there when u cant. Dun come near me when I'm broken, esp when u cant offer anything cos u'll hurt me even more. If u turn away or reject me when I'm broken, I can still accept. Dun ignore. It's worse than rubbing salt on the wound.
I'm not as strong as I thought I would be. I'm not as strong as people think I am. I wanna grow up, yet I'm vulnerable too, which no one realised it.
I hate myself for being a deception each day, putting on a strong front to show people and prove to them I'm no weakling. The truth is that I need support in life. I can be an emotional morning glory, clinging onto those I love. But one day, if my support is to be broken, I'll nv grow.
Dear God, Love me more when I hate myself. Cos I know when I hate myself, only You will love me. You are the only one I can trust. I know I cant trust those said they love me, cos they too are deception. Only You are not. Lord, Love me that I'll be real and pick up myself to go on even when I'm broken. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
PSALM 38
1 A Psalm of David. To bring to remembrance. O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your wrath, Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure!
2 For Your arrows pierce me deeply, And Your hand presses me down.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh Because of Your anger, Nor any health in my bones Because of my sin. 4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; Like a heavy burden they are too heavy for me.
5 My wounds are foul and festering Because of my foolishness.
6 I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
7 For my loins are full of inflammation, And there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of my heart.
9 Lord, all my desire is before You; And my sighing is not hidden from You.
10 My heart pants, my strength fails me; As for the light of my eyes, it also has gone from me.
11 My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague, And my relatives stand afar off.
12 Those also who seek my life lay snares for me; Those who seek my hurt speak of destruction, And plan deception all the day long.
13 But I, like a deaf man, do not hear; And I am like a mute who does not open his mouth.
14 Thus I am like a man who does not hear, And in whose mouth is no response.
15 For in You, O Lord, I hope; You will hear, O Lord my God.
16 For I said, "Hear me, lest they rejoice over me, Lest, when my foot slips, they exalt themselves against me."
17 For I am ready to fall, And my sorrow is continually before me.
18 For I will declare my iniquity; I will be in anguish over my sin.
19 But my enemies are vigorous, and they are strong; And those who hate me wrongfully have multiplied.
20 Those also who render evil for good, They are my adversaries, because I follow what is good.
21 Do not forsake me, O Lord; O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!
