Me

Getting back on path

2008-10-28T00:37:00.004+08:00

2 more months to 2009. Too many things happened in the past 10 months. Happy, frustrating and monotonous... Life went on. Along the way, I think I've already lost myself, my sense of direction, my dreams and vision. I needed to settle down and think through life all over again. Cos I've lost myself in the midst of these quick pace of life.

A few of my aunties commented that if I ever wanna get married, I must marry an angmoh, or at least someone other than an Asian. Reason being, I'm too independent and ambition for any Chinese guy. I admit, I'm very much a leader, who often leads, in the small and big things. A visionary, an idealist, a dreamer, a doer. Too many times and too many things I tend to take charge. Given a chance to give up the reign, I would also wanna depend on one who can lead my life.

Just when I thought it was time and I was ready to take on an amazing chance of my life, I realised that I couldn't move on any further. I'm frailer than I imagined. Seeing so many of the people around me having unhappy and tiring relationships, I had to admit that I'm scared. Wanting to be loved but scared to love. I rather cherish what I have now. A friend, a confidante. I know if we ever move on further from where we are now, and if it doesn't work out the way I want, I'll hate him for life. Knowing my temper, I know I would for sure hate him to the core, leaving another emotional scar. Then I will lose another good friend, a confidante. Just as I thought I've let go the past, I indeed have. But the fact is, that experience has scarred me very badly that I'm fearful of what's ahead.

I took almost 4 years to recover from the past, working non-stop, using work to immune myself, to forget the past, to disown the past relationship. For now, I know to distant myself from him, I must keep myself super occupied. He has motivated me to pursue what I've always believed and wanted to do. Be it for him or for myself, I'm going after my dreams. For myself, I wanna let the party and wild side of me out too.

I used to plan what I wanted, and here's my big plan for my next 5 years.
-Get my Masters in Taxation in 2009
-Get my Masters in Professional Accounting in 2010
-Get a car by 2010
-Becoming a CPA by 2012
-Holiday every year to Korea, USA and Europe
-Start of my cakery and cafe by 2013

With my big plans, I doubt I'll have time to spare for someone else. I wanna work, work and work, study, study and study!! Yes, I'll eventually become a studying machine for the next 2 years!

The China Dairy Scare

2008-09-28T23:09:00.003+08:00

The recent dairy scare caused by unethical Chinese dairy producers has resulted in much fear in consumers. Without any doubt, this has also led to the loss in confidence for any kind of products made in China.

I'm not an avid dairy consumer. I'm not affected by this dairy scare cos I don't drink milk. I think the only China dairy milk product I've ever eaten is the Rabbit Milk candy.

Last Wednesday, Lawrence and I went for lunch in a cafe. Typically, which a cafe serves tea, the milk came in a separate small jug. Yes, so we were served with our tea and milk. Not knowing that I don't take milk, Lawrence pushed the jug of milk in front of me. As a reflex, I just pushed it back to him and told him that I don't take milk, esp fresh milk.

So he poured a big dash of milk into his milk, before he could stir his tea, I just popped him a question, "Hey, you din ask them if the milk is from China?" Oh... I thought that was pretty funny to scare him and the best thing he always did was to play along with me. Haha... He gave me a traumatic look and told me "Cant be la.."

The next moment before I could make another response, he called the waiter to our table and asked,"Is this milk from China?" Gosh.. The OS I had was, "I can't believe you really asked that!" I think that the waiter must be really shocked at the question or perhaps he didn't understand the question. So he asked us to repeat the question again in Chinese. That was when both of us realised that the waiter was a Chinese national. Oh no... I felt so weird cos we were asking a China Chinese if the milk was from China. How ironic? The best of all was Lawrence repeated that question again in Mandarin. So the waiter replied that he din know where the source of the milk and assured us that he would go find out for us.

I felt so pai seh and we both couldn't stop laughing. Still Lawrence drank that tea with the unknown milk. Then the same waiter came over and served Lawrence with his beef stew and said "This is not from China." Faint... We simply burst into laughter again. Who cares if the beef is from China anot? I don't wanna know cos I doubt the beef is from China, but then Lawrence added that perhaps the butter added to his mashed potato could be from China. Funny..

From a mindless joke of mine, we did had some fun, all cos of a good company who played along. I really think that was so funny and was indeed a good laugh for the week. But then I couldn't help but wonder what was that waiter's OS when we questioned the quality of the products of his hometown. This dairy scare has also proven to us how one black sheep can destroy the reputation of a whole nation. I merely thought that China took much blood and sweat to build up the good reputation they had through the most remarkable Olympics I've seen, but yet everything is gone overnight with such terrible scandal. What a pity!!!

Thanksgiving

2008-05-08T00:43:00.004+08:00

Don't really remember if I ever mention where I was working in, but I'll say it now. Last December, I was offered a contract position of 6 months as an assistant analyst in ABN AMRO Bank. If you not know what it is, it's a Netherland bank. God has indeed been very faithful in granting all the desire of my heart. Every thing I asked, He gave unconditionally. Before I graduated, I prayed very hard and specifically that I wanted a job to work in One Raffles Quay, preferably a bank, and ABN AMRO in specific. Bam.. Bingo I got the contract job after one interview, and was notified of it within 24hrs. Pay was super good as compared to other similar contract jobs and permanent jobs in other banks.

In late Feb, my boss asked if I was keen if she converts me into a permanent staff, well of course I was glad, but thereafter there was no news. Just as I was giving up since my contract was coming to an end in June, last month after a business dinner with some directors from London, out of the blue, she popped the question again. Same reply I gave but then I thought she was so busy and would surely have forgotten it a few days after.

Then 2 weeks ago, I asked her if there's a gonna be any adjustment to my pay after converting to perm and she told me no but she would check with HR. Sadly I really thought she would have forgotten until last Fri, she told me she got good news for me. They will adjust my pay but I must have another interview with the HR fine.

Things went so fast cos HR called me on Mon to arrange for an interview on Tues. During the interview, the interviewer told me she couldn't confirm immediately cos they had to submit to a proposal to the management and the conversion is subjected to management's decision. I thought this will take pretty long then.

Low and behold, they called today within 24 hrs to offer me a permanent position. I was thrilled but din express it over the phone. I signed the offer letter with will take effect this coming Fri. Having been in the bank for only 4 months, I was converted to perm staff before my contract ended. My boss waived the probation period cos she was happy with my performance. Best of all, when I read the offer letter, I got promoted to finance officer with a super nice pay increment and super luxurious benefits. Another thing good is that I am offered to apply for a platinum credit card. Wow.. I only have a normal credit card and a gold card, both supplementary ones. Finally I can get a main card, platinum somemore. Siao liao.. I must control my spending sia.

Thank God for everything. Hallelujah!!

Graduation Ceremony

2008-04-07T23:54:00.001+08:00

4 April 2008 marked a huge milestone on my education. Though it's just a stage, not the final destination since I'm gonna do my masters, I was really glad that I could have come so far. I finally graduated.

Was super busy closing accounts before that and seriously, I felt that this day came so fast that I din prepare myself enough to enjoy the maximum of this day. Haha...

Woke up even earlier than normal days when I had to go to work on the day itself cos the ceremony was in the morning and I had to report to school at 8.15am. Sleepy I was indeed, but I was dressed for the occasion.

That's me and my grandparents before the ceremony.

Me and my folks

Here I am, quene to go on stage to receive my certificate.

My family and I after the ceremony. See that pooh? Daddy sew that graduation gown and hat onto the pooh himself. It's the one and only pooh bear in the entire universe.

See that pink bouquet of roses. Dad bought that too. So loved. It's pink pink pink... I love pink. hahahaha

Chantal and me. Too bad Sally couldn't join us cos she gotta look after baby Isabel, and Vincent was graduating in another ceremony.

After every thing in school, my family and I went to the studio to take family portraits. I'll upload them next month I guess. Stay tune.. But anyway, it was super tiring to take photos in the studio. My whole body and facial muscles were aching after that cos throughout the photography session, I had to pose and face as the photographer requested. Thank God it's all over.

More of me, my pooh and my pink roses.

BEWARE!!! AVOID LONG BEACH SEAFOOD @ DEMPSHEY

2008-03-29T02:14:00.002+08:00

I always love to blog about good food and recommend good restaurants. Guess I've never once blogged about lousy restaurants, in terms of food and service. Not that I've never been to eateries that disappoint me, but I just felt that they aren't that bad after all. But today, I strongly wanna share this with the whole world. PLEASE..... Don't ever go eat at LONG BEACH SEAFOOD RESTAURANT. I was utterly mad and disappointed with the restaurant especially the outlet at Dempshey Road.

My family used to dine at Long Beach years ago cos we all love seafood. But over the years, the standard of the food has been dropping, forcing us to go to other seafood restaurants like Jumbo and No Signboard Seafood. As agreed by most of my peers and family, the food at No Signboard Seafood and Jumbo Seafood is indeed very much better than the food at Long Beach as the standard and quality of the food at LB has been deproving.

As I pretty like to go to Dempshey, I was very attracted to the Long Beach at Dempshey and have been longing to go there, hopefully for a wonderful dining experience, despite the fact that I know that the food might be lousy.

Early this month, Aunt Alice and family dined at the Long Beach at Dempshey. Her comment was, "The food was so-so. Crab tastes weird." Huh...

Monday, my mom had a company dinner at Long Beach at IMM. Her remark was, "Was expensive. Food is very salty and oily. A lot of MSG. Horrible..!" That night, my mom came home with indigestion and felt super thirsty. The next day she went to work, she found out that her boss had a severe diarrhoea after that dinner.

Despite all poor remarks, I really still wanna try out the Long Beach at Dempshey. On wed, Anne was telling me that we were going to Dempshey on Fri, which was this evening, to celebrate Sylvia's farewell. She said that the food was ok as she dined there with her family last weekend.

The UTTER HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE at LONG BEACH DEMPSHEY BEGAN!!!!

First, the place was rather inaccessible, especially if you don't drive. The way up to the restaurant was poorly lit and uneven. I couldn't even see where I was walking. My high-heels were damaged in the cause of finding my way up to the restaurant.

Second, we made a reservation for 2 tables of 20 people at 8pm and requested for a private room also. I arrived at the restaurant at 8.05pm to see Sheena, Kel and the rest waiting outside the restaurant. They were told that our tables were not ready. They were clearing the tables. Fine.. We waited til most of our people arrived and we were all waiting outside the restaurant. Kel said that both Daff and him arrived at 7.15pm but the manager told them they couldn't enter the restaurant until 8pm. Anne arrived at 8.20pm and was a bit upset by the poor service and inefficiency of the restaurant. In the cause of waiting for our tables, we complained many times even after ordering our food before we got our tables. The super rude captain told us, "U got to wait la. No table now." I was super mad when I heard that. I was so tired and hungry lo. Guess what was the best part! As this was supposed to be a surprise party for Sylvia, the star arrived at 8.35pm when we still haven even get our tables. Argh... Stupid restaurant. Flopped our surprise plan. Then the captain rudely told us, "You wait la. We give you the tables in the common area." What the heck!!! We requested for indoor aircon dining in a function room, not al fresco dining in the common area. What nonsense was that? I was so mad that I wanna bite off that super stupid idiotic captain's head. Kel went to tell the manager off and after a long wait of 45 mins, we were finally led to our tables at 8.50pm. The moment we entered the room, the manager was saying to us, "Please take your seat, we'll serve your food slowly." SLOWLY? I immediately shot at her, "What SLOWLY? We waited more than 45 mins outside and it's almost 9pm. You still want us to wait for our food? We ordered them more than half an hour ago lo. I don't want it SLOW." She just looked so apologetic and said that she would instruct the kitchen to serve the dishes immediately.

3. Throughout the dinner, we really all agreed that the food wasn't fantastic. Super salty and oily. Had lots of MSG. Chilli crab too sweet instead of spicy. Sweet and sour pork tasted weird and looked very artificially coloured. We requested for hot Chinese tea. Instead, cold tea was served. To appease us, the manager offered us free dessert- longan, sea coconut and almond beancurd. Yucks.. The syrup tasted no different from plain water, but the longan and sea coconut were so sweet that I think they were over-soaked in heavy syrup. Almond beancurd didn't taste like almond either.

4. The captains and manager were super impatient to chase us out. Kept rushing us, insisting to serve the dessert when we were still talking and blessing Sylvia. Even before that, while we were still eating the crabs, the captain came in, wanting to clear the table. I told her off, "Can't you see we are still eating? We're still eating the crabs. Can you clear later?" She kept quiet and dropped her head and walked away. So stupid and rude.

Though the company this evening was good, we were all pretty pissed off before dinner.

Rating: (All upon 5 stars)

Location accessibility : 2 stars.

Ambience : 2 stars

Service : NEGATIVE 10 stars. (DUN EVER TRY!!!)

Food : 1.5 stars

Price : 2 stars

Overall remark: Spare yourself the agony. This restaurant I strongly discourage anyone from going there.

P.S. I was upset with the fact that we had to wait for so long. But not that I mind quening for food. I always quene for good food. My longest record was 2.5 hr. I wont even mind waiting if we din make the reservation. I was mad cos we made the reservation but our request was not taken seriously for. I am really disappointed to experience such poor service in a restaurant with decades of history.

I'm always around

2008-03-16T21:25:00.003+08:00

Sorry that I haven't been blogging since my last entry cos work was really overwhelming but yet I am really glad that I've gained recognition from my vice president and my colleagues for my effort and efficiency. Haha.. I've been too efficient these days that they have problems finding things for me to do.

Whatsoever, many things happened since I last blogged. Grandpa admitted into the hospital, my disagreement with some people whom I thought they cared for me, my shift back to Jurong West church, CNY, JC class gathering, sec school class gathering, dad getting a new job offer, my birthday etc etc etc... Too many things that I wanna share but shall share something nice today.

I'm still bursting with excitement since last night. Why? Cos I went for Jeff Chang's concert. Goodness I think it has been a long long 4 years or perhaps 3 years plus since I last attended his concert. When I was first informed abt the concert, I was like... Oh well.. Not sure if I was still so passionate about him as I used to be. But I really was stirred up at last night's concert. Haha.. Must be Kareen and my friends from the fan club. To my many friends in the fan club whom I met yesterday... yes.. I've been in existence just that I haven't been very on the ball these days.

Many thanks to Verline for helping me to buy the concert tickets. Verline, without u, I doubt I'll get good seats. Thank you so much.

Seated in the 7th row right in front of the stage.. Fantastic view but haha... a high price to pay.. Not in terms of the price of the ticket. I never minded about paying hundreds of dollars to watch a concert or musical.. To some, that seems like lots of money, but hello... I worked super hard for every single cent I've earned. So what's wrong with spend my own money to buy myself some form of pleasure. The heavy price I had to bear was with all the nagging from my folks and relatives when they knew how much i paid for the concert tickets. Pls.. Big deal? No.. Just that they never know that I've been spending such money since... JC days. Gosh.. what lavish life I've had but I love.. And I intend to escalate such life style in the next 12 months. Haha.. Sidetrack...

Back onto the main track.. I grew up listening to Jeff Chang since ..huh... primary 5? I think.. Wow.. That's a long long time. Just like Kareen said, he is like a puppy love figure to us or any girls who fantasize for prince charming. Personally, in a discussion with Sheena and Sean last Friday, I agree that often in reality, the partners we are often "stuck" with will have none of the qualities we desire. Thus I no longer fantasize or ask God of what is to come after a painful experience I had. But I had to admit that yesterday's concert brought me back to those days of fantasy. Jeff is still as charming as he used to be.

I really love the style of the concert. A victorian-design background, a few crystal chandeliers, a symphony orchestra... Gross. Quoting what suet might say, "It's so 'JO'." Yes.. it's everything I love.

Ballads after ballads Jeff sang, we were all mesmerized by his singing. Enjoyed myself pretty much as Kareen, Emerick and I sang along. Haha.. So fun squeaking with Kareen each time we saw the title of the songs to be sang on the screen or when we heard the intro of each song, attempting to guess the song titles. Brought back those dreamy love feel. Jeff has always favoured Singapore fans. That is a fact I guess many will agree. Cos he sang 2 new ballads from his new album which is to be launched in this coming April. He always sang new songs in Singapore concert. Haha.. So blessed of us.

The concert at Max Pavilion was a sold-out concert. Approximately 7000-people audience indulged in the soothing and charming voice of this Prince of Ballads. Good time really flies..Before we realised it, 2 and a half hour passed, including the encore. 2 and a half hours is really not enough cos there were many more ballads Jeff had yet to sing. We were all so hyped up that we all stood up and sang along during the encore. Haha... Guess we've gotta wait for another 2 years for Jeff's next concert.

I am so so so bored!!!!

2008-01-04T16:17:00.000+08:00

I'm so bored, I'm so bored, I'm so bored. Every department so excited about the reshuffling of seats, except my department, cos although our new seats will have the ultimate seaview, but it's rather cramp. We'll be shifting to the other end of the floor by today. Now I'm rotting in the bustling movement of other departments while waiting for the colleagues in my department to finish up the closing of accounts. Why am I rotting while the rest are so busy? Simple, cos I've finished all my work which was assigned to me for the month and everyone is simply too busy to teach me more stuff as for now. Sian.......

What have I done today when I've completed all my work for the month since yesterday?

1. I've made boxes for my department to pack their stuff.

2. I've bundled up and packed the files and documents as my SVP cum high high authority of my department asked me when was I packing the stuff and I gave a "huh" look. Next week die die liao. I'll be sitting outside his room. Bluah... Sabo......

3. I've completed the general ledger which I am to submit 2 weeks later.

4. I've configured the address book for my company email.

5. I've created an email signature.

6. I've helped Grace to find participants for her FYP.

7. I've browsered through the company intranet completely.

8. I've helped my colleague to find a mistake in the 100-over pages general ledger which caused an error in tallying a final figure in a report. And seriously, before I did this, I thought I would take forever to check the millions and millions of tiny prints, but I was wrong. The first figure I checked was the root of the error.

9. I've taken some final shots of the view outside from my window.

10. I've washed my mug in the pantry a few times to kill time.

11. I'm blogging now in front of my stupid lagging computer when my department colleagues are all rushing for time to finish their stuff while the other department people are moving their stuff to their new seats and placing their belongings and cupboards all around us, cluttering the passageway, not missing the fact that some are hagging for more space or for a better seat than the allocated ones just right beside me now, some are planning how to put their stuff on my current table that I'm at now. They really cant wait to chase us out.

What do I have to do later? Huh... Take my barang barangs and shift my butt to the new table. Plug out this stupid computer. I really don't understand why we cant just leave our computers for the people who are coming over to our seats and then use the computers at the other end. At least I'm sure those will not be as lagging as mine. Bluah....

An Eventful 2007

2007-12-31T16:29:00.000+08:00

Indeed, 2007 has been an eventful year, well at least for me.

I’ve went through many changes and they are certainly for the better. Last weekend, Pastor Tan’s message on change has divinely summed up my 2007. Going from glory to glory, change indeed is the key to growth.

From a undergrad to a graduate, to a relief form teacher, to a banker. Huge changes!!! I’m certainly thankful for all the love and support from many of my love ones, and most of all, I’m blessed by God who granted me all my desires for the year, and also for the opportunity to impact lives, despite the fact that I’m still waiting for knockoff in my office, together with my department, when all the rest of the departments have gone home early on this new year’s eve.

I sure do love where God has carried me to in the past year. Whatever I’ve envisioned and dreamt of, He made them all possible. Like I’ve always believe in the power of imaginations and visions, I’m certainly a visionary.

Starting out in my new career, I’m believing for better things to come in the new year, and more relationships to build.

Goodbye 2007 as I embrace 2008. =)

I wanna spend more time with my grandparents

2007-11-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ah Kong and Ah Ma. Guess these few years I've been so absorbed with giving tuition and spending time in church etc.. til I've neglected them both. I admit.. Like ah ma always says, ever since my family started going church, we hardly go out for dinner with them. My family used to bring them out every weekend when I was a kid, even til when I was in secondary school. Those days, we often went to their house for dinner on weekdays. Ah ma and ah kong both love to cook and they get pretty excited when my parents and I go back for dinner. Emerick once commented that it's only when my family goes for dinner, then will his family get to eat good food. Haha... =P (Too bad, my dear cuzzie. God created me to be lovable la. So ah kong and ah ma dote on me so much mah.)

It has been ages since my parents and I last went for dinner on a weekday. We went back for dinner this evening. I was at ah ma's house early today. Both my grandparents started pouring out their woes. Ah ma was telling how bad she felt when both of them were mistreated by my uncle's wife and cousins when they stayed over at my uncle's place over the weekends. Ever since my uncle Allan bought a new cluster house, he has been getting both my grandparents to stay over every weekend. Yet, I know that they were not welcome at his place. I was so angry when I saw my ah ma cry. I teared too. But there's little I can do since it concerns the elders. Even ah kong who hardly complains, was pretty angry. I promise to bring them out this Sat so that my uncle wont have to ask them over to his house.

I wont want them to feel mistreated. Ah ma and ah kong has 3 sons and 2 daughters, of whom my mum being the eldest. Although my youngest aunt married aboard for almost 20 years and rarely comes back, she really cares for them. Seriously, only my family and my aunt's family care. Their sons are all USELESS!!!!! I know ah ma felt really upset with all the nonsense with the daughters-in-laws. They were either heartless, cant-to-bothered or rude.

Seeing all these sagas of in-laws problems in my family and among my friends, I really pray that God will enlarge my capacity to love my in-laws in future. I really need to plan my time well to spend more time with my grandparents.

Ah kong always dreams of living in a big, big house. I wanna earn lots and lots of money so that I can buy a big house to let my parents and grandparents live in.

I'm back!!

2007-11-19T12:31:00.000+08:00

Having MIA (missing in action) for so long, it's time that I return to blogging. Life for me, the past few months, was basically consumed by mountains and mountains of workload. What have I been doing? TEACHING!!!! YES.. TEACHING! I went back to West Grove Primary School to teach as a form teacher. Yet untrained relief teacher.

What was the experience like? Worse than what I had 3 years ago when I was in the same school teaching a class of 39 primary 2 students. This time, I had 41 primary 4 students. My class, 4H, the second best class of the whole level. So stress for me cos I had to maintain the standards of the class. Many people doubted my ability since I was young and a fresh graduate, and most importantly, what parents are concerned of is the fact that I'm an untrained teacher.

The school actually had a shortage of teachers. Initially I was told to take a Pri 5 EM3 class but then there was another class which they considered more urgent, so they forced me to take the class despite the fact that I volunteered to take the EM3 class cos the teacher who previously took that class had to teach music, and music is not a problem to me. But I still ended up taking my 4H. Destined!!!!

When I first took the class, fellow colleagues, parents, principal and even my students doubted my teaching ability. (my monkeys, admit it. The first day I went into class, u people completely thinking I cannot teach.) By the grace of God, I pulled through the 5 months with loads and loads of tears and sweat. Pressure from everywhere was certainly overwhelming. I really thought of giving up if it wasn't for the compassion I had for the kids. Pretty poor things cos the class had a few change of form teachers before I took them at the start of term 3. I was the teacher who taught them for the longest period this year. Initially I was only supposed to take them for a term, but the school requested that I stay on to complete the year.

Lots of drama in class each day. A class of funny and troublesome kids I had. Thankfully, at the end of the day, the class did well for their exams. Even the new principal was pretty impressed with the results I produced. I received lots of recognition from my fellow colleagues, my HOD, vice-principal and even parents.

My fellow colleagues all thought that I can teach and they are really a bunch of great people who would always think of funny ways to trick me to consider signing on as a teacher. NO WAY!! Even my HOD and vice principal spoke to me regarding this matter. I remembered when I was in secondary 2, my home econs teacher told me to be a teacher cos she thought I would be a great one. I told her, "Over my dead body." Even dad asked me to sign on. Siao ah. Does anyone has any idea what life was when my day normally begins at 6am and ends at 2am? As a short-term teacher, I wont mind, but I definitely do mind lots about selling my life to the local education system which I HATE. If I ever have the choice and ability, I doubt I'll let my children to be educated here.

One great thing I had was I met my primary 1 chinese teacher in West Grove. She was teaching the afternoon session in the school while I was teaching in the morning. The last time I met her was 10 years ago. Wow... I long knew God pre-planned everything.

Like I say, it was then my calling to teach, to inspire and change lives. Now it's the end of that calling, it's time to move one. The biggest reward I received is a class of loyal and loving children. Thank you to my dearest 4H.

Love is in the Air

2007-06-03T01:02:00.000+08:00

Shouldn't be blogging at this moment when my audit paper is in a couple of days time, but I seriously cant contain emotion that's bursting from within.

Romance.. Lovely and beautiful. Bread vs Love, which would I choose? I used to choose love but before today, I would have pick bread cos dun since when, I no longer believe in love, until today, when God brought love back to my life.

Love was in the air through the whole session of Emerge conference today. God's love was so tangible that I felt love breaking within me.

There was a mini concert by the Taiwan artiste Liu Gen Hong during the session today. As he was singing his song, "Distance of Happiness", he walked down the stage, kneed down and proposed to his girlfriend in front of the whole church with a congregation of more than 10000. Woho... So romantic... So touching.. At that moment, I really thought that "Hey if I was the girl, I would have nodded to the proposal under such romantic atmosphere."

Love was certainly in the air. It was so impromptus that even Pst Kong was caught by surprise and din know how to carry on with the service. Ha.. Love in a romance.

God's love din stop there. When the video of what Sun funded to help a childcare in Henan, China, was shown, I felt love has no boundary. Sun funded and our church sent a team to help this dilapidated childcare to refurnish the premise. This childcare was in the rural area of Henan. As part of the team brought all the children, who have never been to the city, for a day of city tour, the rest of the team painted and decorated and refurnished the whole school, transforming it into a kiddy paradise. Seeing the faces of excitement and delight, when these little ones returned to their school to see the surprise prepared for them, it really touched me and I was moved to tears. Agape love it is. To love the less fortunate and unlovable unconditionally. I was really inspired by the things God used Sun to do, to touch the world and make a difference.

Hope and vision maybe great, but the greatest of all is LOVE. I enjoy the feeling of love surrounding me now. Mesmerized and fascinated, amazed at the greatness of God's love.
Unexpressable love...

The V Tea Room

2007-04-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

My second visit to The V Tea Room, with my parents. Cos was an early treat for mummy for mother's day. The 1st visit was exactly a month ago, with Suet Ming.

Well I knew about this place long ago, but looked pretty classy so I assumed that I couldn't afford it then. But before CNY, mom's ex-colleague bought her a tin of cookies from V Tea Room. So last month when Suet and I were at the Esplanade for Phantom of the Opera, we went there for tea after the show. I was totally mesmerized and captivated by this tea boutique. Like Suet said, it's the kind of place where Jo likes. Yesh, yesh....

This Victorian-inspired decorated tea boutique had a warm, inviting and cozy atmosphere. Simply a place where I could spend a whole afternoon there. Parquet flooring, red wallpaper, high-cushioned chairs and marbled tabletops. Victorian book-binds, masquerade masks.. Very detailed decor.

The service was really excellent. The waitresses were all really friendly and they made me feel like royalty. Feels great to have someone waiting on u. Haha.. They are all well-equipped with the knowledge of all the items in store.

On my 1st visit, Suet and I had a double pot of Turkish Apple Tea. It's real apple bits. Sweet aroma and refreshing. Fantastic. We also had a chocolate melt-cake with mixed berried. It was very delicious, with a very unique texture We were told that the melt-cake was their own concoction. It's a half-baked cake, with equal parts of firm and gooey cake. It was a good combination. Though it was a half-baked cake, it didn't taste undercooked at all. The gooey part tasted more like a yoghurt.

Today, we had a pot of Turkish Apple tea and a pot of Tropical Green Passion. It's actually passionfruit green tea. This one had a strong fragrant aroma of passionfruit. But the taste is a little bitter. As for sweeteners, they offered cubes of white cane sugar, brown sugar, rock sugar and candied longans. I would prefer rock sugar though.

We had the warm apple cake and chrysanthemum honey lime sorbert. The cake was just butter cake with apple bits. The apple fragrance aint as strong as the apple tea, but the texture was quite good. The sorbert was simply mind-blowing. A taste which I've never tried. Very special and really light and refreshing. We cleaned the bowl in minutes.

There was a wide range of cakes. Actually the specialty of the store is liqueur cakes, but due to my low tolerance level for alcohol. I gave that a miss. There are 2 cakes shelves in the boutique where one can pick the cakes he wants. Then the waitresses will warm the cake and decorate the cake before serving for the baked cakes. As for the refrigerated cake shelf, there are many beautifully decorated cupcakes.

According to the waitress, the tea boutique is going through a revamp soon as half of the boutique will be changed into a cookie museum. The cookies are all freshly baked in-store. The cookie museum offers many ranges of cookies. All ingredients are imported from overseas. The cookies are eggless. Great for those allergic to eggs. There are the floral range, fruit and nuts range, chocolate range and the savoury range.
Floral range:

Madagascar Orchid: Madagascar vanilla pod with orchid. Taste very creamy.
Madelein Rose: pure rose. Very floral.
French Butterflies: Rose with ginger bits. Sweeter than Madelein Rose. I personally love it.
Lavender: Pure lavendar. Ehh.. Like eating essential oil.

Fruits and Nuts:

Berry lite: With organic blueberry and macadamia nuts. Best-seller
Orchard AppleCran: Apple and Cranberry. Well, I simply love the apple.
Bird of Paradise: Cranberry and sunflower seeds. Light flavored and crunchy.
John Lemon: Cranberry and lemon. I love it too.

Chocolate:

Girls are Cheeky: Candied cherries and chocolate chucks. Reminds me of the cherry gracia ice cream from Ben and Jerry's. The cherries are like jelly beans, specially imported from Italy.
Boys are smelly: It's not smelly. Chocolate chucks and nuts. Taste minty.
Othello Chips: White and dark chocolates
White Truffle: White chocolate. It's butter-free. Melts in the mouth.

Savoury:

Hae Bee Hiam: Chilli Dried Shrimp. Very spicy.
Ikan Bilis: Mini dried fish. Huh.. Taste ikan la.
Parmesan Napoleon: Obviously parmesan cheese.. but it just tastes like the milder version of Hae Bee Hiam.
3 Piggy: Pork floss. Like keropok. Haha..

Well cos last month, I bought AppleCran and Girls are cheeky and I was invited to be on the list of special invites, as the cookie museum has a special flavour of the month and only bake a limit number of tins of 50. Flavour of the month was cheese and vegetarian bacon. Ingredients are all hand-carried back from Venice. The cookie is called American Breakfast. Taste like buttered prawn. I'm completely overwhelmed by it. Cant stop thinking of it. I bought 2 tins cos for every 2 tins of American Breakfast purchased, there's a free gift. It's a glass-beaded necklace from the Glass City, Murano in Italy. And because of the tea vouchers, I bought another 3 tins of cookies. Madelein Rose(cos my folks love it), John Lemon and Berry lite(Cos mom loves it. It's our 2nd tin of it too.) So all in all, 5 tins of cookies today. The cookies can last for 6 months. Each tin of cookies range from S$25-32.

Some may find the cookies too pricey, but honestly, I think it's worth it cos of all the imported ingredients and the packaging. Classy..

This is definitely a lovely place. Once in a while, it's worth pampering yourself. Indulge in the high quality of life. I love it.

The V TeaRoom
#01-02 Esplanade Mall (Main Entrance facing Marina Square)
6333 1965
http://www.thevtearoom.com
Opened 1pm to 10pm Sundays to Thursdays, 1pm to 11pm Fridays and Saturdays

Pret A Manger

2007-04-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

Frequenting Raffles Place and taking up yoga classes kinda added some spices into my life. If not for taking up yoga classes, I wont even frequent Raffles Place, and I wont have the chance to discover many special eateries and cafe.

Wanna share with all my new love recently. Pret A Manger. Found the sign quite some time ago when dad drove down Robinson Road, just before Lau Pa Sat. I always think that it was so far away from Ocean Tower, where I go for my yoga classes. But I came across an article in a magazine, featuring the sandwiches, when I was highlighting my hair, I knew I've gotta give it a chance, so the food they offer is so "ME". It's my kind of food. And if I never walk down, I'll never know that it's actually quite near.

Located at The Ogilvy Centre, it's just a 5-10 mins walk from Raffles Place, next to Lau Pa Sat.

This British sandwich shop caught my attention and now I'm kinda hooked to it. Every time after I visit the shop and eat the sandwich or drink, I simply couldn't help not to think about it.

Perhaps let me explain what I meant earlier by "my kind of food". It has gotta to be elegant, sophisticated, unique, interesting and best of all, in some forms of hybrid of all the stuff I like.

My first visit, I tried the recommended crayfish and rocket leaf sandwich, hummus and corn sandwich and chicken leek and potato soup. Sounds a lot? Not really cos their sandwiches are all half sandwiches.

Crayfish and Rocket leaf sandwich.

I'm a seafood lover and crayfish... yum. The flesh was succulent and together with the leaves and light mayo, awesomely refreshing.

Hummus and Corn sandwich

Since I returned from Israel, I've acquired a loving for Mediterranean food. Hummus is basically blended chickpea in creamy texture. Hybrid of hummus and my fave corn, wonderful. Suitable for vegan cos there's no meat. The hummus was like tuna mayo in vege form.

Chicken leek and potato soup

Too rich. Personally I'm ok with it. Not fantastic as it's just too creamy.

Other discoveries I strongly recommend:

Raspberry and Blueberry Smoothie

What comes to ur mind when u see the word "Smoothie"? Milk? Yoghurt? Cream? Well, these u'll nv find in Pret's smoothie. It's made of only fruits and yes fruits. "No water, sugar or anything weird" as stated on the bottle. It's 100% natural, blended with orange, apple, strawberry, raspberry, blueberry, blackberry and banana. U must be thinking what's with all the berries. Well, the fact is I'm obsessed about berries. Refreshing and soothing. Great to complete with a sandwich.

Avocado and Parmesan Sandwich

Honestly I was quite apprehensive when I picked it up from the refrigerator cos I wasn't really sure of the basil and pinenuts in the sandwich. I was proved to be overly paranoid. I think it's another of my fave now and since I ate it last week, I've been thinking of it everyday. Cheese shavings with slices of avocado, perfect match cos they just melt in the mouth. The pinenuts and salad leaves gave the sandwich its crunchiness and the basil leaf enhanced the favour of the sandwich. Most of all, dunno why I recently love green creamy stuff like avocado and wasabi.

Must try k.

Pret a Manger

35 Robinson Road#01-02/06 The Ogilvy Centre Singapore 068876

The Phantom of the Opera

2007-04-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

Went for the long awaited musical, The Phantom of the Opera, ytd with Suet. This was indeed a long wait. I bought the tixs last Nov, for a show on 31st March. 5 months of long wait. Nonetheless, it's all worthwhile.

Remember that this was the 1st musical I watched. My dad brought me to it 12 years ago, when I was still in primary. Then we had the best seats, costing $350 per tix, at the National Theatre.

This time, at Esplanade, I paid $97 bucks for seats in circle 3. View wasn't too bad for the price range. But seriously, I think it's the 1st time I'm watching a show which I couldn't see the actors' facial expressions clearly cos we were too far from the stage. Suet agrees with it. But that's ok. It's the whole experience and atmosphere that matter.

The stage was really magnificent. Better than that 12 years ago. Haha.. Oops.. But I just couldn't help not to compare. Intricate cravings on the mounted pillars at the both sides of the stage. Triple wows to the beautiful set.

Fully mesmerized by the melodious and fantastic voices of the cast. Rounds of applause to that. Bravo!!!

Think I've poisoned by this musical 12 years ago when I first watched it. Haha.. I was such a "Phantom Of the Opera"(POO) freak since then. We have a few sets of the complete musical album at home. From the regular one to the highlights, and limited golden edition. I even have the music score book and the programme. After the last POO musical, I bought the storybook, which was a Penguin reader version. Hee.. I remember there was once during pri school days when I was supposed to meet my frens to do project at the library. After which I had to wait for Dad to pick me up, so I borrowed the POO video. The movie was in black and white version. That was really really long ago.

Then in 2004, out came the movie. Went to watch it with Ris. Then I bought the soundtrack and DVD. Seriously and honestly, my family never buy movie DVDs, let alone original ones. But yes, I bought the original movie DVD once it was out. Madness I guess. Haha..

Ytd, there were so many POO items on sale. If I could, I would have bought every item available on sale. Too bad that everything only on cash payment. I only bought the souvenir programme, a silver necklace of the mask and an enamel keychain. I really wanted to buy the POO bear, but bluah.. I dun have enuf cash with me. Suet said she could lend me, but I din want to borrow. I was also fascinated by the coffee mug. Got a pic of the mask in black on a black mug, but once u pour in hot water, the mask will turn white. So cool.. Yes I know it's cheap thrill cos there is sth like that out in the market, but the biggie about it is that it's POO. Haha...

The programme was the most ex which I've ever bought. $25. Those which I bought ranged from $5-20. Never mind. If I dun buy the programme, then that's not having gonna for the show.

I'm now considering if I should go for the show again. Was thinking of treating my parents to it, with the better seats. But that's gonna be lots of money and my building fund still haven clear. Pls God, rain down money in cash terms, so that I can treat my parents to the show.

A Birthday of full of unexpressed words of Love and Gratitude

2007-03-11T23:17:00.000+08:00

22nd birthday over. A year older, a year wiser, yet not a bit less emotional.

Many thanks to all who sms me to wish me. A list of pple to thank, as usual.
1. Grace (as the stroke of slightly after midnight) Thanks for being the first.
2. Sally
3. Claris
(haha.. 8plus, 9 plus in the morning. A bit too early in the morning cos I was still deep asleep when Sally and Ris msg me. I admit. I love to sleep.)
4. Chantal
5. Hanna
6. Kareen
7. Selina (thanks for the canto version of bday song)
8. Elisa
9. Xun Yee
10. Valerie
11. Clarabelle
12. Daniel (thanks for the lunch)
13. Joseph
14. Lawrence
15. Jingling
16. April (sms all the way from Australia. I'm so touched.)
17. Rosanne
18. Lihwee
19. Suetie (last for the day as she planned.)

For those who wished me belated bday, well dun feel bad. Though belated yet I'm still thankful.

Oh ya, not forgetting those who emailed me like Shu Jun, Jeffrey and Guan Him.

Perhaps I'm too attached with my family that I always think I should spend my bday with myself and with my love ones.

The week before last, grandma called to ask me if I'm celebrating my bday. Guess she is so used to celebrating my bday every year. So last sun we went for dinner to celebrate. Grandma always gives me angpow. This year, grandpa too. I remembered he gave me last year also cos it was my 21st and I had a party. This year he gave me money cos grandma gave me angpow. So mummy commented that he's trying to compete with grandma. Haha.. Well like grandma says, grandpa always loves me more than the rest. Only Shawn and me get angpows from him during birthdays. Haha.. the rest of my cuzzies, dun be jealous k.

This year, I pampered myself with a spa on tues in the midst of all the shaking from the earthquake. On my bday itself, cos dad was on mc, spent some good times with him. Long time nv spend quality time with him. We had lunch, tea, talked and shopped around, then I went for a manicure and yoga while he went to pick mummy up.Oh and I was so crazy that I spent $40 over buying fruits. I love to spend time with dad alone. Felt so loved. Talked about me, my future, mom's new job.....

Something that dad said during dinner imprinted deeply in my heart. He just looked at me and said to my mom "Seeing her grow from 2 to 22." Guess it has been a long way to see me grow up. I just love to be my daddy's girl forever. No matter how old I grow, I would always love those times the 3 of us cuddling together in bed on sun morning.

This year, I was touched to tears a few times. First was when I went shopping with aunt alice and she just bought me a birthday gift when I commented how beautiful a necklace was. 2nd was when cutie Cheryl sang me a birthday song. 3rd was when one of my funny yoga master sang me a birthday song. 4th was when Jo Tan and Jo Cai called me to sing bday song for me over the phone. So sweet of them. 5th was when my cg celebrated my birthday ytd and yes there again was a bday song. Gosh, I've got a huge prob with bday song. It simply drives me to tears without fail.

Kel just kept apologising for forgetting my bday and that the cg had to celebrate it belated cos they simply missed it out. I really wasn't upset, but I'm really touched to tears cos I really appreciated their effort, especially when I just transferred over not long ago. Hah.. even Sheena forgotten about it til they celebrated ytd. They originally planned to celebrate on thu and Kel even bought a cake but I was sick and din go for cg. Din eat the cake, but the thot was very much appreciated.

Well it so happened that last week I was down with food poisoning and I felt so horrible after the svc that I cried. So Pearl came to ask me ytd if I cried last week cos cg forgetten to celebrate my bday. Dear Pearl, I cried last week really not cos I was upset, but I was in pain. Well the stupid pain was so unbearable that I had to go to the doc after svc and got a jab to relieve the pain. Thank God for the courage to bear the needle. I never knew I could brave thru the injection.

Birthday wish for the year:
1. Hopefully to get into one of the big 4 audit firms or Marina Bay Sands. I'm going for interview on 28th March. Pls pray for me.
2. Pass my exams in May and June. Pls keep me in prayer k.

An encounter with a samseng

2007-02-09T02:11:00.000+08:00

Dad and mom on leave today. So they sent me to cg at sembawang, thinking that we could go for dinner before that.

As we drove into the carpark of sun plaza, the car in front of us suddenly jam brake, we were also quite close to him. Then he showed his reverse light, so dad just reversed the car to let him park into the lot he wanted. In secs, he just reversed into the lot, recklessly, without checking blind spot. So dad just shook his head. As we were driving off, he starting horning endlessly at us. Couldn't be bothered so we drove to the other end of the carpark.

Before we could even park the car, this reckless driver came marching at us and knocking at my dad's window, asking my dad to get out of the car. He wanted to pick up a fight. So both mom and dad got out the car. He insulted my dad and used all the coarse language and vulgarity at us. He even threatened to beat my dad up. He said "What's ur problem? Wanna fight ah? Why u shake ur head? U wanna find trouble is it? So lousy driving skills. I'll beat u up if u are not an old man." He stood so close to my dad's car door, not giving him any space get back into the car. Dad din wan to quarrel anymore, so he wanted to get into the car. As he was getting into the car, he had to open the car door more widely to get in, then this guy shouted at him, "Why u push me? U wanna fight is it?" He simply refused to let my dad get into the car.

Then I was in the car, I took out my hp from the bag. When he saw me sliding my hp, he backed off and banged very hard on my dad's car.

We were afraid that this crazy man would harm us or damage our car, so we wanted to walk over to take down his car no. When he saw us approaching, he quickly drove off to another lot. So as we decided to let the matter rest, he came running and shouting at us, saying why we following him. He claimed that he was leaving the carpark ald and that he had just finished posting letters.

Hello? Kid who? In less than 5 mins he could go up to post letters where the post box was so far away. He kept shouting and threatening us, so dad took out his hp to call his inspector fren. When he saw it, he said then since we wanted to make things big, then he can also call the police. He claimed that there were 3 of us and only him alone, "3 against 1, wanna fight ah? I can also call people here." Then he said all the nasty things at my dad and pointed at him. I told him to back off and leave my dad alone, he shouted at me and said "Who are u to talk to me? I'm talking to him, not u." I got provoked, took out my hp and dialled triple 999. I told him "We'll wait, I've called the police and they are coming soon." He opened his eyes so big, as though he wanted to eat me up. "I also can call the police. We wait la, see who win." We just walked back towards our car.

Seeing things not right, he walked up and down the carpark and made several phone calls. Then he marched towards us and said he's late for an appt and he had to go, how long more to wait, saying that he only came to the plaza to post letter. Dad just told him stop lying and wait. He got super agitated and shouted "How dare u call me a liar? Do u know I can sue u for calling me a liar?" He must be guilty.

I just told him,"Then do u know that it's discrimination that u called my dad an old man?"

His reply was "Old man not bad words ok?"

Really such a stupid jerk existed. I just couldn't be bothered to waste my breath on idiots. Discrimination doesn't need bad words or vulgarity. So uneducated and ignorant.

He walked away to make phone calls and came back saying, "I give u my ic no., u give me urs. I dun want to wait." Dad refused. He's trying to get away. Guilty conscience.

Just then, the police car came. I approached the policemen and told them, I was the one who made the report, that there's a gentleman threatening us. (phew.. I was too kind to call that jerk a gentleman) Dad gave his statement to the sergeant while 2 officers spoke to that guy.

The sergeant asked if we wanted to pursue the matter and take him to court, cos he could issue a warrant right on the spot. But my dad, being a person who had dealt with many of the lawyers, inspectors, superintendents and high ranking officers, kept emphasizing that this was only a small matter, that he only wanted to make a report to give us protection only and that we would drop the matter if he would to apologise. So the sergeant went over to the guy to covey my dad's message. We could see that he was very agitated and refused to make the apology. As the sergeant spoke on, we could see that he's scared ald.

Then the sergeant came to walk my dad near to that guy and said, "Mr Woo(my dad), mr chan (that samseng), this is just a misunderstanding. Since Mr Woo won't pursue the matter, we just rest the case."

Then I saw my dad stretch out his hand to offer a handshake and that fellow, very unwilling shook my dad's hand in front of the policemen. Then my mom went up and said, "but he haven't apologise yet." He was hopping mad, and stamped on his feet and shouted "Sorry, is this loud enough?" And he walked away. The sergeant assured us that they have filed the case and if anything happens to my dad's car, we could straightaway go to the police station to report and he'll be the prime suspect.

We thanked the policemen and apologised to trouble them. Come on, we are civilised people, not like him, a barbarian. As we walked away, mom was thrilled to see how embarrassed he was, behaving like a little boy, stamping his feet.

Din really had the chance to eat with my parents cos I was running late. But just now when they picked me up from cg, they said that they saw his car still parked at the plaza when they left the carpark. Who's the liar? Post letter? Leaving the carpark?

Moral of the story: Evil never wins the righteous, dark will never overcome light. There's justice in everything. And there's an invention called handphone and a number 999 to dial for the police when u get threatened. Dun ever mess with me cos I'll not hesitate to take legal actions when I sense my life being threatened. Most importantly, thank God for His almighty protection that that guy din harm us.

Oh, forgot to describe his sickly look. Yes, pale, thin sickly-looking man in his early or mid 30s, wearing specs and a little balding in front, wearing specs, in a shirt and trousers. Typical abusive look. Walked like a samseng (hooligan) and certain is one. Protruding eyes like goldfish. We could see the demon manifesting in him. Yucks. Pity his spouse, if he ever has one.

Miserable

2007-02-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

Felt so miserable ytd during the gathering with my pri sch frens. Horrible. Why? Cos someone thot she's very eloquent and kept picking on me.

One of them came back from Australia and asked me to organise a gathering. I'm always the one doing this dirty job. I'm not hardup to do it. Thot just help to organise sth to make everyone happy, instead I was made miserable. It never pays to do such stuff and I'll nv be appreciated for it.

Somehow, someone finds it an extreme thrill and joy to keep making fun of me and picking at me. Every qn she asked, every ans I gave, she could just make fun of it and make a mountain out of a mole. Thanks. I really "appreciated" it. I dun need those kind of attention. She perhaps like the idea of building her joy at my expense.

She always make me the evil one and she, the saint. She would always call the rest up before the gathering to warn them not to be late, otherwise I'll be very mad and angry. Come on, I seriously couldn't be bothered if u are late or whatsoever, if there's a reason behind. One of them was 40mins late ytd, I understand cos she had to make. But she always makes the point to portrait me as the unreasonable sort, making the others fear of me, every single time, without fail. What for? I used to play along with her accusation. But I calmed down after the dinner ytd, to realise that this crap had been happening every single time we meet up. After analysing the whole thing, I just feel that she's sowing discord among me and the rest. Thanks. Having being frens for 12yrs, this is the nonsense that I finally came to realise.

She claims that no one dare to tell me off and only she has the courage to do so. Fine. Bravo for that courage. Seriously, I dun need all the attention that she created. She just wants to prove that she's very eloquent and no one else could win her in a debate. By all means, u win. All I wanted was a peaceful dinner and great catching up. But ytd, I found her extremely noisy and annoying.

I'm not angry, but deep down I'm very hurt. Dun wish to organise anymore of such thing to make myself more hurt in future. A clap takes 2 hands. Dun see why I'm always contributing my time and effort for sth that brings me more harm. Actions speak louder than words. She can always do the saying, and I'm always the one doing the action. Just like that instance that I had to shop and make the delivery for the birthday gift to one of their moms, to bring over to australia, even if it inconvenient me. In my honest opinion, I really dun mind doing it for a long-time fren. But seriously, whoever came up with that idea, should do the followup, planning and take actions.

What car I want and what kind of bf or husband I want, or whether in future my husband needs to walk to work is none of others' concern. I appreciate the fact that if u really care, but save the sarcasm. The sarcasm and that sense of humor ain't amusing.

Youtube Drama Craze

2006-11-15T13:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Sad to see that I haven been updating my blog. Just to many things that are keeping me busy.

Recently, huh.. actually last month, I started watching HK TVB drama online. I used to only watch short video clips on youtube. But just couldn't resist to temptation to watch those drama serials uploaded on youtube, acted by my fave actor Lam Fung. Really think I was a pro man, cos I finished watching 2 serials, one 40 episodes and the other 30, in 2 weeks. My best result was completing 10 episodes, each with 5 parts in 1 nite. YES.. JUST ONE NIGHT!!.. well that's cos I fast forward the shows. Haha.. So since last last Sunday, I realised that I dun have any more drama that I might want to watch.

Yet out of curiosity, I decided to go check out on the latest Korean drama craze, Goong, Princess Hours. Initially I wasn't really fascinated about the show, but Sally and Chantal were always talking about it. So I typed in Princess Hours in the Youtube searchbar. It so happen that I found one user immediately, who uploaded the whole drama online with English subtitles. I only wanted to just watch Episode 1 part 1 to know what's so interesting about the whole show and why it's so popular in Asia. Little did I know I've got hooked to it.

Was really captured by the funny look of the lead actress. And as I watched on, I was really captivated by the storyline. I wanted so much to find it out myself, refusing Sally and Chantal to tell me the ending.

I realised that I took longer time to finish Goong as compared to the previous 2 HK drama serials, reasons being, cos the whole drama is in Korean and I gotta read the subtitles so I could fastforward the show and also each episode has more parts than one episode of HK drama.

Completed Goong this morning at 5am. Was watching since 10pm last night. Of course, in between I did take a break to watch other drama serials on tv too. To think that I completed episode 19 to 24 in one night. Wow..

The thot of I was finishing the show simply made me couldn't stop watching. And as I watched, I got more hyped up even though dawn was drawing near. Hee.

Couldn't remember how many pieces of tissue I used last night. Dun remember which was the last drama that made me cry like waterfall before Goong.

Indeed, Goong is a compelling drama with twists of events, with tears and laughter. 2 thumbs up!!

Remo is gone! Argh...

2006-10-05T14:22:00.000+08:00

Argh........ My favourite dance master Remo is gone. Rumoured that he was terminated by true yoga with immediate effect.

Ahh... it's too sudden. No more dj bhangra, no more fusion, no more bollywood. Bluah....

He may be young, say in his early 20s, but with super good skills and teaching background. He was once instructor to some Bollywood celebs before he came Singapore.

Now that he's back in India. Buhuhuu...

Although he always scolds me cos I always late or always talk in class, he nv fails to encourage me to try my best. Somemore always sabo me, ask me to lead the class. Siao bo..

Now all the fun is gone.

I'll miss you, Remo.

Healthy Eating Craze

2006-09-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

Since I started yoga, I've also started to go crazy about good and healthy food. Some discoveries I made that I'm kinda crazy about.

1. Cedele Depot *****
My family's fave. Long wanted to try it, but never had the opportunity to, til there was this one time when I treated my parents to the cakes there after dinner, after a yoga class. Very organic.

Wide variety of cakes, sandwiches, soup etc... I find the sandwich fillings are very unique and creative, like grilled mushroom, kiwi and cheese, chicken avocado etc.. Cant wait to try them all.

Highly recommended:
-Mango almond cake
-Shrimp and Avocado sandwich with wasabi dressing
-Grilled Chicken chop with curry
-Carrot and ginger soup

http://www.cedeledepot.com

2. Juiced Rawbar ****

Very raw and extremely healthy. Tried their juice a couple of weeks ago. U can choose up to 5 or was it 6 choices of fruits and vegetables to be juiced. I love it.. So fresh..

Tried their set lunch today. A soup and a salad. Woho.. The salad was a super large bowl. It's a design ur own salad. Besides the leafy greens, u can choose 6 other bases to the salad and ur own dressing. I chose: fusilli pasta, mushroom, tomato, broccoli, corn kernel and kidney beans, dressed in yoghurt and pesto dressing. Accompanied with a hot bowl of tomato sweetcorn soup. Perfect. Eating salad is no longer the same.

http://www.juiced.com.au/

3. Soup Spoon ****

I'm always love eating Soup Spoon. Fantastic combi of pumpkin soup and a thai-chicken tunghoon salad. Hot salad with light dressing. Very refreshing.

www.thesoupspoon.com

p.s Healthy and organic food is highly costly. I dun suggest u eat them everyday. If u turn bankrupt, I wont lend u money de, cos I also need money for building fund. Hee..

Diary of An Invigilator

2006-09-17T10:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I returned to RVHS for this invigilation job. Thanks to Ros for the job. It's some Chinese exam, similar to the Chinese TOEFL or SATs.

Woke up super early. Cant remember when I last woke up so early. So tired!!!!

RV shifted to the ex SAJC. Like I said, "Faces look familiar, but the environment doesn't." Met my sec 2 Chinese teacher Mr Tan. He hasn't change a bit.

Oh well, honestly invigilation is a super easy, simple job, but super boring. I was the main invigilator while Joseph was the invigilator, like my assistant. For the past 2 hours plus, we sat and stoned, walking up and down, playing hangman and tic-tac-toe. Super sian ah.

But without a doubt, the money earned was easy money. Haha..

Love is like Firework

2006-08-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

Love is like firework
Comes in loud bangs,
that surprises you out of nowhere.

Love is like firework
So near yet so far.
To be seen, heard and felt,
but can never be held onto.

Love is like firework,
so bright and beautiful.
Lighting up the night sky,
like love brightens life.

Love is like firework,
beautiful yet doesn't last.
Memorable but short-lived.

Love is like firework,
Dangerous when one is uncautious.
Burns when one isn't aware,
scarring one for life.

Love is like firework,
comes and goes.
Vanishes before one realizes it,
leaving only smokes and bitter sweet memories.

--Joanna Woo

This was inspired by the firework display which I managed to catch a glimpse of last Saturday with Claris, Angeline, Gustin, Emerick and Eddie. Thought about it during my yoga lesson today and decided to pen it down.

My New Obsession- Dance

2006-08-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

Gosh.. To some, I might sound crazy, but ever since I signed up True Yoga, I'm going for classes almost everyday. Haha...

Went for a few dance lessons the past week. Did freestyle dance, bollywood dance and latin sexy dance.

Freestyle isn't my type. I dun have that kind of groove. But it's not bad for a workout.

My favourite is bollywood dance. The instructor Remo, is kinda modern so the dance he taught is that kinda modern bollywood dance which we see in the bollywood movies. Haha.. It's really fun with all the skipping, twirling and shaking. Haha...

Had a class called Essential Dance by a new instructor, May. It's the Latin sexy dance. Haha. It's really exciting especially trying to be "sexy". All the stepping, kicking, pole-grabbing and rolling on the floor. Brought out the "me" I never thot. As the class was new, it was really packed. Got many taitais.. Was joking with my new friends that some of the aunties danced like line-dancing. Haha...

No time.. I need more time to live a more fulfilling life.

Anyway, I dragged my parents up to True Yoga today cos I learnt from my consultant that got new plans. Got a better deal by paying through credit card. I'm saving $100 every month now that I've upgraded the plan, but it's a 3-year commitment. Think I can last time long bah.

A Speedy Organized Shopaholic

2006-08-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

Shopaholic as I always am. I did a major spree just on last Sun.

I really thot that I'm kinda amazing, to be able to shop and shop after 2 sessions of yoga. Mom and dad were supposed to pick me up after my yoga at Raffles Place, but then after my class, they were visiting one of my grandaunts in the hospital. So there I was, ALONE.

Took a train to city hall and began my shopping spree. Knowing what I really needed and wanting to buy, I headed straight and direct to all the shops I wanted to go. And not forgetting to explore the new basement of Raffles City.

I was totally crazy in my first stop-- The Skin Food. I walked in and point point point point point.. In less than 10 mins, I've a basket full of things.

In less than an hour, my hands were full of bags. Madness. Hey, my shopping was organised and targetted. Guess that was why I was so fast.

One incident which I really couldn't stand was that I saw 2 sales consultants arguing in Robinsons. I was about to make payment at this counter when the senior sales consultant cum cashier was scolding another sales consultant. Both of them were women in their 40s, but what right did the former have to abuse her right and mistreat the latter? The former scolded the latter in front of customers and other fellow co-workers. They all just stood there laughing. It might seem amusing to them, but it's rude and ugly to do it in front of customers. Can u imagine how bad it would be if the customer were to be a delegate of the IMF convention? How bad would it be to the local tourism image? Moreover, Robinsons has always been well-known for their excellent services. So I offered my 2-cent worth of thot to the other cashier which I made payment at.

There goes my pay...

Eventful July

2006-07-31T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Haven been blogging the last month. Many things happened. Guess it's time to sum up my July. Just came home from yoga. I've so much to tell and to beat the clock before 1 Aug..

My July started dreadfully. My grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer on the last day of June. My world seemed to have suddenly fallen in. After both my paternal grandparents passed on, I never thot that illness will strike my maternal grandparents. Guess I was too jolly in my world. My grandfather looks so fit. How could he have cancer? Anyway, initially he was supposed to have cataract op in end-July but when NUH did the pre-operation tests, they found that he had super low blood count. So they did all the scopes and further test to find the cause of the low blood count.

Cut the long story short, I found one the world best colorectal surgeon, Doc Francis Seow from my church. My mom and I seeked consultation from him and beyond our expectations, he arranged one of his ex-colleagues from SGH to op on my grandfather. Why not Doc Seow? Cos my grandfather was an ex-civil servant and he had this civil servant card which provides for all his medical bill in any government hospital. So it was that he had the op to remove the right side of his colon the week after and was discharged 5 days after the op. Praise God for the healing. My grandfather recovered really fast. Many of our relatives and even my mom's cg members said that he didn't even look sick as compared to other patients in the ward. =smilez=

What's life after the 2-3 weeks of shuttling to and fro the hospital? Work and tuition and endless tuition. I needed a life.

Caught up with my primary school friends, Belle, Siyin, Jingling and Fongmei cos Siyin came back from Australia. We had dinner at Din Tai Fung then wanted to go somewhere to "la kopi". How common was that? Instead, we headed to Cine to take Neoprints, then we went to "la" chocolate.. Fondue.. Chocolate with marshmellows and strawberries are perfect combinations. Ooi-lala.. We talked about life, love and marriage. Beyond our imagination, we were all so shocked to hear from Siyin that one of our primary school friends was diagnosed with ovary cancer early this year. She is the same age as me!!! Why?? Oh and I happened to see Maxim at Cine. Ha.. Singapore is small..

The exciting thing that happened in church was the new marriage bible study. Got myself into real serious thinking about love and marriage. Marriage ain't any little girl's silly dream. It's God's plan.

I know I have been so busy these days that I've neglected my pals, buds, buddies and darlings. Ha.. Wanna meet me up? Need appointment k. Haha.. Cos Ros just asked me out for sec 4 class reunion. Eh.. Bo eng la.. Among all the busyness, I still managed to catch up with Angeline and Suet.

On 22nd, met Angeline up after service for dinner. Ha.. What a surprise for her to ask me out for dinner? Before we left expo, we caught up with Gustin. He's back in Singapore for holiday. He has changed so much. Ha.. Then we took the train down to Esplanade for dinner. We went to the Makan Sutra Hawker and had so many things. We ate hokkien mee, chicken wings and satays. Just the both of us. Sumptous meal and was a great time of fellowship.

On 23rd, met Suet to watch the musical Cabaret. Before that, we had dinner at this new cafe in Citylink. It's New York, New York. We both pasta craze haha.. ordered pasta!! Suet had the ordinary seafood pasta and I had the Alfredo pasta with roasted chicken. Huge portions.. value for money.. But not the soup and drinks we ordered. The pumpkin soup was too salty and the milkshakes we had were the shrunk- version as compared to those seened in the menu. But we saw others drinking the super large rootbeer float.

Before the show started, there was this man who missed a step in the theatre and hurted his head. Ouch.. So pain.. Overall, Cabaret wasn't not bad la, but still wasn't the best that I've watched. Perhaps cos it's a local production. There's still room for improvement to reach the international standard like Sound of Music, The Phantom of the Opera etc.. and not forgetting the best local production I've watched- The Forbidden City.

Back to Cabaret, Kris Philips (Fei Xiang) and Emma Yong really sang well. Never knew that Emma Yong had such powerful vocal. I especially like the segment of the Pineapple Song. So funny. Cabaret is a story of love beyond races, status and dreams. Love aint word-expressions.

On 25th, we had a JC gathering cos Kaini is leaving for France for 9 years to study medicine. We surprised her at this rooftop bar in Chinatown. It sucks and the service sucks too. Then we walked down to Hong Kong St. Settlers' Cafe. Was a fun night of food and games.

Last wed, went for a trial lesson at True Yoga at Pacific Plaza with Aunt Alice. It was a combat yoga lesson, but it happened to be a kickboxing cum aerobics class. The consultants there kept psychoing us to sign up the package. So expensive lo. After much negotiation with the manager, he offered us a trial yoga therapy class on Sat and also great package deals.

The yoga class on sat was so argh... The yoga master cracked my bones and twisted my body beyond what I thot I could do. Felt so great to be cracked. Haha.... What did I do? I signed up for 1 year's package. Haha... Fine.. I know some might think that I'm nuts and have too much money to waste. No.. I love it. Had 2 yoga classes yesterday and 2 today. Just came home. Going for more this week. Hee..

Well, now yoga is another commitment in my life. My eventful July =smilez=

My New Fave Shopping Hunt

2006-06-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

Went shopping last sun with my parents and grandparents. It has been quite a while since I last went shopping with my family. It has also been some time since I last went shopping. However it's not my shopping victory that I'm gonna share about.

I would like to share about the "NEW" Raffles City. Happened to discover the new extension of the mall at the basement. I was super excited having discovered my fave shops and also some interesting new shops, or should I say shops of my kind. Hee..

I was thrilled to discover the new outlet of The Skin Food there, but din have the chance to walk into it cos mom complained that I've said enough for the day already. Argh..

But fear not, cos I had the chance to further explored it yesterday afternoon when I went shopping with Aunt Alice. Bought 2 tops from Esprit yesterday and a cream, a eye shimmer, a lip treatment and a nail colour from The Skin Food.

I was crazy when I set foot in that shop and aunt said I was a "bad" influnce cos she was super tempted to buy almost everything too. Haha..

I'm almost quite interested in the 2 floral tea shops, but din really take a good look at all the products.

There is this shop which sells only finger food. So cute. All the food items were so tiny. Then there is also this British-style fast food which sells fried Mars-bars. So interesting isn't?

There's also this juice store called the "Fruity Juice Co." I love the name, simple and straight to the point. The display of the store was like the kind of fruit shops which you can see in cartoons like Beauty and the Beast, Oliver Twist etc.. that century one la. We bought the juice and the bottles were so cute and the picture on the label too. So French.

Another point to note. The store next to it sells super yummy tako pachi. What a fusion mix for tea?

Raffles City is now my fave cos there's all my fave brands and shops there, like: Anna Sui, The Skin Food, The Body Shop, The Natural Source, Swarovski, Esprit, The Soup Spoon etc...

Holidays are finally here.. But...

2006-06-20T14:49:00.000+08:00

6 weeks of crazy exams are finally over. 3 months of holidays are finally here. Yet I'm not really excited about it. Life doesn't seem any much less carefree.

Exams ended last Monday. Then I had a whole day of tuition on Tuesday and then went to meet Claris for dinner. We had dinner at Paragon, then we went to 3 different cinemas, trying to catch a movie. In the end, we ended up at the Cathay, was "She's the Man", Well, initially I wasn't keen on it cos I really wanted to watch "Cars", but there wasn't any more available timings. But no regrets watching "She's the Man". It's so funny, Cant really remember when was the last time I watch a comedy. The last movie I watched was with my parents in end April. We watched "Firewall", featuring Harrison Ford. That was much of a thriller. Back to "She's the Man". Haven laugh out my heart for quite a while. Nice show and I highly recommend it. One revelation from it, woman can be as capable as man. Another revelation, women are emotional but men are rational.

Wednesday, I went to my aunt's house to help her settle her company's accounts. Work work work. On Thursday, went to help Aunt Alice to search for Shawn's new school as they'll be moving to Yishun end of this year. That was so tiring as we went to 5-6 different schools. After which, I went for CG.

Friday, went for 2 tuitions in the morning then went to meet Chantal for K-Box, then rushed to give Shawn tuition in the evening.

Saturday went for COPE then service.

Supposed to start work at the tuition agency yesterday, but I was down with a very bad flu and cough since Sunday.

Still sick now but I better turn up for work tml.

Chantal said I am a workaholic. Huh... Perhaps.. cos I dun seem to have anytime to enjoy my holiday. Argh...

God is Good!!

2006-06-05T17:14:00.000+08:00

Over the past 6 weeks, though I haven been blogging, I'm really blessed in my life. Ups and downs throughout this period, yet God is faithful and good.

Besides having a new fridge at home, Dad bought me a new digi-cam. Not the model I wanted, but it's good enough. Last Thursday, after Emerge, my parents went to expo to pick me up and they showed me the new hp they bought. They bought 3 new hps. 2 nokia 6280 and 1 samsung 660. 3 hps for $84. Woho.. Great deal isn't it? I've got the nokia 6280. It's a 3G phone. Mom changed my phone plan and now I've got free incoming calls all day. Oh.. God is good.

Dad went to India 2 weeks ago and bought me a CK eternity moment perfume and a Gameboy from Dutyfree.

Grace bought me a new hot pink bag as a makeup birthday present cos the lamp exploded. Pink pink..

Though busy, I managed to spend time with Suet and Grace. Went for lunch with Suet then another day again with her and Grace. Memories of our JC days just keep flashing in me. Really missed those days when we went shopping after school. I really love to sit and eat and talk with people I love. This is good life. I thank God for giving me friends like them.

Passed my driving test. I'm really grateful to have very good instructors like Mr Ng HS and Mr Lim CC. They not just taught me the techniques but also cheered me on before and after my test. I trusted God in the test, believing that He'll lead me through. God is so good cos He never fail me this time. I've got the tester who I always wanted. He was very kind to be throughout the test and even warned me before I almost knocked down the pole. I was so happy that after the test, I went to take photo for the driving license and the administrator at the license processing counter was telling me what a beautiful smile I had. Well.. that's cos I'm smiling from the bottom of my heart. And like dad said, my test day was really easy to remember cos it's on 5th May, on Friday. Ha... God is faithful.

Went for all 6 sessions of Emerge Conference. Felt like it was the greatest commitment I've made in the last 18months. Was recharged, inspired. Shall share more about the conference in another entry.

Went for BV audition on 23rd May, just a couple of days before my POB paper. Initially I was very reluctant to go for it. Felt I wasn't ready and somemore in the midst of my exams. Nonetheless, I went for a shot cos of Claris and Daphanie. But in the end, only Claris and I went for the audition. We were the 1st 2 candidates. I originally picked 2 songs, "Cry" and "Take me Deeper", but as we were practising that afternoon before the audition, I picked "A heart after You." Felt that I could perform better vocally with that song although I wasn't really familiar with the lyrics. Soon was 6pm. As we were waiting, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. The aircon in the church office was so powerful that my hands were icy cold. Sis Caroline took our attendance and shared her experience to calm us down, but.. I was just too nervous. When I went into the room, I stood before Sis Annabel and Sis Alison. My legs were shivering. I sang. Duh... I forgot my lyrics so Sis Ally helped to prompt me. My face was flushing red. I knew cos I could feel the heat in my cheeks. Finished the song and my legs were still shivering. Then Sis Ally asked me if I was nervous. Sis Bel helped me replied, "Of course, her legs are literally shivering." I just smiled. Sis Bel gave me very good comments. Both of them were very happy with my vocal quality and diction, but they also shared with me the kind of pressure I would experience on the front stage as a BV. Then Sis Bel just said, "Well, you know what happens on Singapore Idol when you forget ur lyrics. Hope you can continue working on it and try again the next time." I just nodded my head.

Both Claris and I din make it through the audition. Well I was pretty angry with myself cos I din make it bcos I forgot my lyrics. Diong... But never mind. Champions are those who never quit.

God is still good. =)

I'm Back!!!

2006-06-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody!! How's everyone doing? Haven been blogging for other 6-7 weeks. Have been really really busy these days. Many things happened, for the good or for the worse.

1. Busy giving tuitions to prepare my tuition kids for the mid-year exams.
2. My driving test on 5th May. Finally got my license.
3. My exams.. So stress.. I'm still left with my last paper on 12th June.
4. Went for the background vocalist audition.
5. Emerge which just ended yesterday.
6. My last cg E205 disbanded on the last day of April. Shifted to the new cg with Xiao Wei and John and other new guys.
7. Not forgetting the Word Power Preliminary for Emerge.
8. Oh.. and I've got a new fridge at home. Bigger, but I still managed to pack it.

The list just goes on. Shall further elaborate on them when I have the time.

Reflection of a shopaholic

2006-04-18T18:22:00.000+08:00

Shopaholic I am. Many times, a complusive and implusive one I am. Yet there are times I'm such a detailed and cognitive shopper that I'll give a thought more than 2 cents. Haha..

Shopping.. I always find joy in retail therapy. But my greatest flaw when it's comes to retail therapy, my wallet usually burns a gigantic hole when I shop with a super low and bad mood. What do I usually do when I'm in a super bad mood? I like to go to the supermarket, push a trolley and throw into the cart whatever I see. BAD Bad bad!!!!! But it does feel good to see a cart piled with stuff. Haha...

Recently I fell in love with shopping at pushcarts stores and flea markets. It's so amazing that you can find fabulous things at these places. Well, perhaps many of you dont know that I got most of my accessories which many said, are very beautiful, from these pushcarts and fleamarkets.

One pushcart which I frequent is this one at Raffles City, Level 3. If I remember correctly, it's located near to the entrance of Robinsons toy dept. Most of their accessories are from Korea.

The only fleamarket I go to is the one at far east square, near Chinatown. It's open every sunday and you can find many good lobangs there. One good thing about shopping at fleamarket is that you can bargain and bargain. I love bargaining prices. I'm not a bimbo k. I'm a smart shopper.

Oh, not forgetting that I actually bought my new wallet and card holder from the pushcart in my school. Both imported from Japan. So lovely. Woho.. Cheap too. Hehe...

Well, my greatest goal of the year: cut down on any impulsive and unnecessary purchase. My greatest discovery is that in order to cut down on my spending, the best way is to minimize the amount of money in my wallet. The best is not to have more than $20 in the wallet. Although I've 2 debit cards, I just had to keep telling myself that I've no money in the bank. NO money. Haha.. Self-psycho..

Recently bought a new OP PINK bowling bag. Suet can tell you how crazy I was about it. I saw it on the streets twice, so I went to find it at the OP in Jurong Point, but the shop assistant told me that no more liao, even warehouse also dun have. I was even more determined to find it. It so happen that Suet also like that bag. Haha.. All the more it shows that my taste is right. I went to all the OP in Orchard and all told me sold out. So I called the outlet at Great World. Praise God. They've got the last new piece. I immediately reserved it and the next day, it was MINE!!! Haha.. Well I concluded that when I set my eye on a thing, and if I dun get it, I'm all the more even more determine to make it mine. Haha... Well.. perhaps also cos of my recent obsession with bags. Haha...

Detailed and smart shopper I am cos I dun shop impulsively anyhow. For instance, my purchase of my new PINK bible last sunday. Yesh.. It's PINK. When placed next to my pink OP bag, it's so PINK PINK!!!!! Haha... Back to the story of bible buying. Have been hunting around for a bible since last Nov. Yesh.. That's long. Cos I havent set my eye on any one. Either the design is not what I want, or the version is not the regular one which my church and I normally use, or best of all, the price is not within my budget. The last few Attributes bible sales din bring down the bible prices to my budget. But God is good after all. This easter, finally the prices of all the 3 bibles which I've been considering fell within my budget. I bought a new hot pink pocket bible in NKJV. Hehe.. I'm gonna use it this week. Yipee.

Shop, shop, shop... Will my shopping trip to HK this summer become a reality?

21st Birthday (2)- The wonderful parts of Celebrations

2006-03-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

21st birthday leading to an adulthood. Oh well after all the celebrations, life is back to normal again. Yet I really had a wonderful birthday this year.

5th March 2005-- My 21st Birthday Party at my uncle daniel's condo function room. Lovely place. Many people came. My family, relatives, friends from primary school to university, church buddies, cg members and fellow copers. I think there's almost 100 people there. I lost count. But deep from my heart, thanks everybody for being there. Really appreciate u guys taking time to come and for all those lovely gifts. THANK YOU.

Honestly... huh think there were too many people and I'm really sorry I couldn't spend enough time entertaining each and every guest of mine. Sorry guys. I know many of u wanted to take pictures with me, but I was just rushing from tables to tables. I was so so worn out that night when I reached home, that I totally slept throughout the next day.

The last time I had a birthday party was.. I think primary 3, 12 years ago. I think I'll nv want another party this scale, until my wedding I guess.

7 March 2005--I'm offically 21. Wanted to go watch my first R21 film, but Claris was with me today, so.. She's too young for it. I wanted to watch Brokeback Mountain.. but nvm.

We went for lunch at Big O. I had the bacon-wrapped chicken thigh and she had the dirty duck rice. Mine was simply yummy.. and hers.. just fried rice. Haha... she was so disappointed with hers. Then we went to Majesto at Cine for dessert. Champagne Cake and cookies & cream ice cream. Perfect. Then we went to catch Walk The Line by Reese Witherspoon, completed with popcorn. Hehe... I really think she deserved the Oscar. Had I realised that every time Risse and I go for movie alone, we always watch Reese Witherspoon's film. Haha..

Then I had to rush down to meet pa and ma for dinner at Ritz Carlton. 2 thumbs up for the buffet. I always love their cold dishes, appetizers and desserts. Fresh succulent oysters, fleshy & juicy lobsters and yabbies and many more.. There's a wide selection of dishes, uniquely Ritz, cos you cant find them else where. 6 stars!!!!

8 March 2005-- Met Leona for dinner. We went for dinner at Tonkachi and dessert.. Fondue at Haagen Daz.. Indulgence...

Best of all, we went into the restroom at Scotts and took so many pictures. I think we went so crazy that time flew so fast, that both of us missed the last buses home. In the end we had to rush for the train. Haha..

Lovely and memorable birthday.

21st Birthday (1)- The wonderful blessings

2006-03-12T12:53:00.000+08:00

The one thing I always love about birthdays is all those wonderful presents I get. The feeling of opening a gift is so thrilling, just like solving a mystery, full of surprises. Here's a display of all my presents I've got this year.

Just look at all these gifts I've got!!!

My first birthday gift from my parents-Ipod Nano. Yeah!!!

My 2nd gift from my COPE team leader Lili, a cute & lovely bag from OP. Oh, I just love the touch of the bag and the flora print on the inside. So me!!!

All the ang pows I've collected on my birthday from my relatives. Praise God for all the wonderful blessings.

A pendant from Citigems, From my uni-buds: Sally & Chantal

A lovely pinky notebook from Leona. So sparky.

My 1st bouquet of flowers from my JC gang. I love lilies.

A diamond pendant from Suetie, from D'Meyson

A lamp from Grace & Joel

A towel embroided by Sharon

A painted-glass necklace from Hanna

Borders Gift Voucher from Michelle, Val, Jarrod and Marc

Skin Food Gift Voucher from my sec school friends.. Time to shop..

A key-chain from Leslie

An Essense Watch from Fong Mei, Jingling and Belle (My primary school gang)

An Australian Crystal necklace from my boss, Karen.

A Swarovski cross from my fellow copers. I love it.

Approval Addiction from Joanna, Joanne & Daphnie
The Heartache No one Sees from Claris

A necklace & a pair of earrings from Angeline and Sheena

A Cross Necklace from Eddie and Chuan Soon

A bag from my cell group.

I'm blessed. So blessed.

Back blogging

2006-03-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys, haven been blogging cos I've been very very busy giving tuition.

I know that a number of u guys have already blogged about my birthday party last Sun. And me? Hehe... soon soon.. cos I'm simply too lazy to upload all the photos to my computer and also cos I haven got most of the photos from the party.

Nonetheless, I'm gonna share some wonderful things of my 21st birthday in a few entries. Stay tune.

Anguish

2006-02-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

Argh.... I haven felt so angry and hurt for so long. Emotions just went out of control.

Everytime when I'm sad or angry to the peak, my stomach hurts. And this time, I really do. My spirit is wounded, my heart is bruised. I felt injustified and accused and humiliated and insulted and bullied. Whatever..

Yayayaya... they always make things seem like I'm at fault. Whatever.. Who wants to be in the presence of God with a gloomy look? I dun, but I was forced. How come they can show black face and I can't and I get the scolding? Yup it may seem to be over a small issue, but the way people reacted, it's a BIG issue. I felt so horrible in that environment. Had to put on a mask and act in front of the others. So yucks. I left, getting a look as though I'm despised when I dun stay back. Whatever.

They are forever right, and I'm forever wrong. Only when they need my help, then they'll be nice to me. Whatever...

No amount of apology works now. Whatever. So wat if I'm petty? Yayayaya.. My heart is pretty pretty small. FINE!!!! God is love, but I dun feel loved. My core spirit is hurt BIG TIME. Never have I felt so worst.

Even eating good food, or the thought of eating ice cream or even eating ice cream can cure me now. I know, cos I just tried them out. Nothing seem to have lifted my spirit. My parents were upset to see me in anguish, especially my dad. He's pretty upset to see me in this mess and so wanted me to get out of it. Like how? Argh..........

My new hair colour

2006-01-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up early to teach tuition this morning. Then went to Auntie Alice's house to dye my hair today.

We had sushi for lunch. Woho... I love sushi, esp making them. Cos there wasn't much ingredients, so I came up with a cheese sushi. Yummy... Anne and Aunt Alice both love it. O well, cant help it. I'm just talented in it.

After lunch, Shawn insisted that I bring him to school. Today supposed to be his mom bring him lo, since school starts later every Tuesday and it's the only day which his mom can bring him to school, but he just wanted me to. So to force me to bring him to school, he refused to let me watch TV. Argh.... For the sake of watching my new beloved actor Raymond's Lam, I just have to give it. Argh........

Then Cheryl was throwing tantrums, refusuing to eat her lunch, so me this jiejie gotta do the job. I really rushed feeding her since the drama was starting soon. Good girl. She's indeed my beloved new teddy bear. Hah.. Cos I just taught her how to do a teddy bear hug and saying "I love you." haha.. so now we do it almost every day. It's only exclusive for me and her. Hee..

Hai... Shawn gotta reach school at 1.40pm and my show will only end at 1.40pm. so I missed the last 5 mins. Whatever... Since I've already watch the drama last night.

Shawn was really happy that I brought him to school today. He just couldn't stop talking about his friends and school along the way and that's what he usually would do during tuition too. But I just couldn't stop complaining. Why make me walk him to school under the big hot sun? Somemore, he must go in by the side gate which is so far in.

I was just to lazy so I walked him to the block next to the gate. Grabbed him on his head and gave him a goodbye kiss. He was so shy... Hee. I made sure we got into his school building before I left. I couldn't help to notice that Shawn kept looking back at me as he walked in and he waved at me. Smilez.. Suddenly I got that motherly feeling in me.

When I got back, Anne dyed my hair.

See my new hair colour.

Like my new hair colour? It's soft copper blonde. I love it. Even Aunt Alice and Anne too. It's a new colour product from Amway and aunt is blessing me with it. Woho.. FOC.... But aunt was quite upset cos last sat she spent $175 to colour her hair at her regular hairstylist, but I think her stylist used too dark a colour that her hair doesn't even look coloured. Haha.. So she got so fedup, she couldn't wait to chase me out of her house. Hahaha.....

But sad to say, none of my members noticed my change in hair colour, even Alex din notice it when I saw him. Only Jia Rong lo. At least I've got a compliment from him. Hee. The rest? Some kind of friends..? Hai...

CHCSA Appreciation Dinner

2006-01-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today we had an appreciation dinner at Roland's Restaurant at Marine Parade. It's a dinner for all the volunteers of the CHCSA, from the various departments. Needless to say.. I'm from COPE.

Took many pictures this evening cos there was a photo contest. By the way, it so happened that many of us wore black today. Perhaps cos we wore orange too often in COPE. People in Black: Me, Jacelyn, Irene, Sis Irene, Rachel, Nam Yan, Karen, Guan Him, Vincent, Kith, Hong Yun.

Copers in Black

Sisters in Black 1

Sisters in Black 2

We the COPERs

We sure are one BIG family

Copers in Black charging for peanuts. Haha..

Pretty gals, Macho Guys-- Copers in Black 1

Pretty gals, Macho Guys-- Copers in Black 2 (Look at Ah Guan's superman hand!!)

Pretty Gals, Macho Guys-- Copers in Black 3

Me & the "Suaning" Brothers-- James and Benjamin( the one in white. He never fails to suan me lo..)

Me and Angeline (the volunteer of the year for Children Church). She never fails to uplift me and encourage me. I love her.

It was a wonderful evening. Food was good, programs were entertaining, mostly importantly, I was with good company. =smilez=

Took a cab home with Guan Him, Benjamin and James. Discovered many things.

Ah Guan ran like Forrest Gump when he was running after cabs everytime when he saw one.

Benjamin, the biggest "Suan"er was 2 yrs my senior in Primary School. So coincidental.

James has got super good jaw muscles cos he has been talking throughout the night, from before the start of the dinner til when I alighted the cab, he was still talking.....

Cope isn't just a ministry. It's about volunteerism. Although none of my members support me along the way, I will still stand strong in my zeal.

CNY Valued Shopping

2006-01-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Have been pretty busy these days and I know I haven been blogging very regularly these days. Sorry folks cos it's always the thot of uploading the pictures to share with you all that drives me nuts.

Yesterday I went my first facial in 1yr and 7 mths. Not exactly la my 1st facial in so long cos I did mask at home too. But it's the 1st in so long since I last went to a beauty salon to do one cos I spent my time on spas last year. Hah.. So it's about time for a professional facial now. The facial was actually a complimentary one cos Auntie Alice got 2 complimentary vouchers from one of her credit cards. We went to this salon at Suntec called the Posh Wellness. Environment was good and relaxing. And I couldn't help but to hear that the music they played was harp music. Hah.. this definitely cant be escaped from a harper's ears. Hee...

The overall facial was only so-so la. Not as fantastic as I thought it would be. I'm just longing to try the facial at True Spa. Will God throw down some bucks for me to go try the facials there? Hai...

Today I woke up super early. Think I haven woke up so early for a few weeks or a couple of mths liao. Slept late last night and woke up early for COPE. Today we brought the elderly from Old Airport, Pine Close and Toa Payoh for CNY warehouse shopping.

First, we went to the Kong Guan Dumpling factory. Saw this "fa-gao" which was crowned in the white pau-skin and it's called "bao-fa"--- sure will prosper. For that additional pau-skin, the price is more expensive by $1.80. I think it's crazy. The white skin make the entire cake looks so ugly.

Then we went on to Ken Ken Seafood Factory. Saw this very unique shrimp dumpling "Har-Kow" shaped into a flower with 4 different colours. It was selling like hotcakes lo. I wanted to buy but sold out liao. Hai....

After which, my bus proceeding to Fragrance BBQ Meat. It wasn't on the schedule one but the elderlys saw the crowd and wanted to go, so we went. Bought ba-gua there.

Last stop, we went to Bengawan Solo. I bought a big bag of goodies there. Went daddy came to pick us up, he simply din understand why I bought so much. O well..... Simply bcos......

I'm a SHOPAHOLIC.....

What's their problems?

2006-01-12T16:12:00.000+08:00

Ok, like I said I would blog about them, I am now.

Encountered some strange and disgusting people who I really wanna talk and share about. DISGUSTING... to that extent that I feel so frustrated to the cap.

Encounter 1

Ytd I went to RELC with Sally and Chantal to pay our exam fee. There was a crowd, so gotta take quene numbers. Since I walked in front of both my buds, I've got no. 22. Naturally and by right, Sally who's behind me should get no. 23, but she din, cos there's this woman in her 40s or 50s with her daughter who perhaps in her late teens cut behind me. What's her prob? She looked kinda taitai and also a little agitated though.. dunno what's wrong.

After waiting for sometime, no. 21-30 got called, but we gotta let the guy at the door check our forms before we go in to quene. When no. 23 was called, the woman took so long to come out, with her daughter following behind her, and she was still furiously waving her hand at someone behind her to come, but no one came forward. The guy at the door checked her form and asked her to go check out the course codes and fill in the missing details. So she passed the form to her daughter and she came quening behind me.

Not longer later, her daughter came storming into the room. "I hate him. I passed him and forms and even volunteered to help him check the course codes but he shouted at me, asking me to shut up and get out. Hurmp.. I'm not going to talk to him anymore. Dun ask me to go out."

The woman just replied her, "Ok then. U stay here and quene. I go find ur bro."

Oh.. I see, so it's her son who is taking the exams.

O well, it was soon my turn, and also the girl's turn, but apparently her bro is worse than a retard cos he still haven finding the course code. So the poor girl had to stay in the quene, waiting anxiously for her mom and bro to come while letting people to pass her by. After Sally and Chantal finished paying, we still saw the girl in the quene. As we were walking out of the place, we saw that woman standing in the middle of the waiting lounge, waiting for her son to complete the form.

Ok...Thoughts for the day: What's the problem of that guy? So big liao still need his mom and younger sis to accompany him to pay exam fee? And who's taking the exams? Him or his sis or his mom? He doesn't seem to be anxious about it lo. So bo chup, then dun study la. And why's he so stupid, need to take so long to find the course codes. All the codes were shown on the board le mah. Idiotic lo.

Encounter 2

Took a bus to school today. Raining cats and dogs, I'm stuck in a small single deck bus. Thank God that I've got a last seat, but going against the vehicle motion. I hate such seats. But whatever. Cos when the bus left the interchange, the bus already very pack liao. So upon reaching every bus stop, the bus driver uncle would shout politely to the back of the bus in his broken English "Everybody pls, move back 1 step. All wanna go work. Pls pls move. Everybody go work.." Such a nice uncle. :)

As the bus drove after Jurong Bowl, there's this DISGUSTING woman who board the bus. Perhaps she got off from the wrong side of the bed, but pls.. I just felt disgusted with her. Cos she was standing near the door, behind me, kept complaining and grumbling, but I cant see her face. I wonder who was even wanting to listen to her. Oh pls.... So upon reaching a stop, the driver said the same thing. But this idiotic woman shouted back to the uncle in hokkien, saying something as follow:

"Uncle, never mind. U drive slowly, take ur time. We go to work can be late, let all the stupid students be late."

HELLO?????? Stupid? Who's stupid? What's her big fat problem? That's not all, then I had her mumbling "All idiots. Study so much. All eat shit in the stomach." WHAT'S HER BIG FAT PROBLEM? Menopausal?

No long later she alighted and I saw her standing at the bus stop, pointing at the bus and scolding non-stop, complaining to the man standing next to her. And that man had such an innocent look on his face. Well I think she must have ruin his day.

God is crying for me

2005-12-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

It's time to end. Everything has to end. Or perhaps nothing began in the first place.

I thot I would cry, not just tearing, but crying and weeping hysterically. But I couldn't. My mind just got crippled and I couldn't think. I wonder why I wasn't crying. Am I hurt? I dunno. Perhaps I din love him so much in the first place. Or perhaps I never did. But shouldn't I still end all these crap with a big cry? Something in me is yearning to scream out loud. I really want to scream it out loud.

I know I cry a lot. Many thot I like to cry, including my parents, but I'm always crying normally and quietly. I want to do this in a different way.

But still I dun think I'm crying. Perhaps my tear glands are not functioning. Or perhaps my tears for him have been used up. I'm just not crying as I thot I should at the very minimum. Perhaps I'm just waiting for the triggering point.

Everything I did for him, I got nothing in exchange, but just a scald scar on my palm. The pain from that scald was unbearable. But the fresh surface wound no longer hurt now. But why I am still bearing all the pain which is infinitely painful.

Dun tell me he cares for me when he pushed me from Heaven to hell and when I started to stand up, he said he cares again and threw me back to hell from a greater height.

I couldn't cry. I have to act normal in front of everybody, including my daddy and mommy. I so much wanted to tell them my feelings. I yearn for a hug and hush from my daddy and mommy. I wish they could cry with me and just tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Even when a heart is broken, it'll continue to beat on. Life goes on.

Everytime I step outdoor alone, it would be raining. God is crying for me. He is there to cry with me. But I needed a shoulder. Yet I know I can still stand strong cos God is supporting me. I belong to HIM and my destiny is in His hands.

I need to cry it out before 2006 begins cos I never wanna cry for him or over him ever again. Cant wait for 2005 to end cos there's nothing I could rejoice about throughout the year. The greatest regret I'll ever have is never let him know how I felt. I need a new beginning. I need........

Romantic Candlelight Service (2)

2005-12-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

Went for Xiao Wei's SOT graduation today and we had the same candlelight part in the graduation service. This time round, Pst Kong asked us to prepare our cameras. Hooray....

Shiyi and my candles

The Sea of Candles.. Beautiful isn't it?

Shi Yi and Me

The Excited Me..

The 4m banner which costs us sweat, pain and blood...

The Romantic Candlelight Service

2005-12-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

Today was the 2nd weekend service we have at the Singapore Expo. Having only move in there for 2 weeks and preparing for the festive mood, Pastor Kong arranged for a candlelight service this weekend to gear us up with the Christmas mood.

O well.. I really din realised that the year is coming to an end soon and honestly I still dun really have the Christmas celebration mood and without the sense of urgency to buy presents for anyone yet. O perhaps that was before today.

Today's service was wonderful.. The most beautiful one I've had so far. This candlelight service is the first one that City Harvest ever had in the entire church history of 16 years. Though short but wonderful.

The hall was dimmed and Pst Kong lit his candle and using the flame of his candle to lit the zone pastors' candles and the zone pastors walked down the aisle to light the congregation's candles. Can anyone even imagine what would it be like to have 7000 over people in the hall with 7000 over candles lighted up? The sight is beyond words description.

Holding on to the candles and singing carols, these certainly spurted up the Christmas spirit in me. More than that, we are called to be the light to the world. All the more we've gotta shine brightly for God in the world of darkness.

I really wish to show u pictures of the candlelight service but too bad, cos the security din allow me to take pictures. I really wish for more of such service. I hope we can have one every year. =)

Oh Christmas Tree

2005-12-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree....
Lalalala....

Pa bought a new 6-ft tall Christmas tree today. Hooray...

The last one was 5-ft tall and it was my childhood Christmas tree but was thrown away by my "HOLY" aunt who said that it's demonic. Rubbish....

I wont let her lay hand on my new tree..

Shall decorate it soon.. soon I think since Christmas is just round the corner. :)

Wishlists!!!

2005-11-28T14:59:00.000+08:00

Woho... I think it's that time of the year again for me to draw up my wishlist for Christmas and not forgetting at my 21st birthday is coming up..

Hey everybody... Look out for the side column of my blogs for my wishlists. Voila!!!

I'm sick again =(

2005-11-28T14:25:00.000+08:00

Argh... Yes I'm sick again since Thursday morning. Was down with a bad flu but still I went for the marketing test. Can you imagine my nose kept dripping when I was writing? Yhew...

Throughout that day my whole body ached and my throat was killing me. But my God's grace, I still gave one tuition on Fri morning and work throughout that afternoon. But I guess all the phone callings and after the prayer meeting on Fri, I've almost lost my voice completely. Bluah...

Really no choice, dad forced me to see the doc on Sat morning. The doc said I've got a viral infection and my vocal cords are swollen cos I've overused my voice, and when mom asked me how was I going to sing for choir in front of the doc, he was in disbelief. But I was determined to sing. With the strength of God, I could sing that day, just that I couldn't talk much.

I was advised to talk less and let my vocal cords rest for a week or so. But how to? My jobs require me to talk and talk non-stop. How to rest? Aiyo...

The Skin Food

2005-11-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

Really gotta share this with all of you guys. Like many of you know that you must never walk into a shop of beauty care, like The Body Shop, The Natural Source and Crabtree & Evelyn. Reason being when Jo gets into such a shop, she's never stop spending. Haha... Over the years I've really spent a lot in these store. And now... I've found another brand.... The Skin Food. Now this brand has top the list of my favourite shops.

There's this brand of beauty products originated from Korea. I came across this product on one of the tv program from Taiwan, featuring this brand shop. I got so fascinated by the products from this brand. So I went to search the web to see if I can find the website. As expected, I found the website and fell deeper in love with the products.

U've gotta check this out: www.theskinfood.com

The brand concept of Skin Food, as the brand name suggests, desires to offer a banquet for our skin, just as how we often feast to nourish our body. Like our body, our skin needs to be pampered and fed. Woho.. I love this concept. and it's brand symbol too. It's a shape of a guardian angel with 2 wings. So cute..

O well.. Like I mentioned before that I actually thought of starting a business. For a period of time, I was so crazy about this brand that I kept telling Chantal that I wanna bring this brand to Singapore and be the sole importer for this brand, cos this brand only has brand stores in Korea and Taiwan. Bluah... But it's all too late. I'm too slow. Cos last Sunday I found the brand store at Marina Square.

I was so furious but yet even more delighted. The store is situated at the corner on the ground floor, near the restrooms. Well at first I wanted to go to the restroom, but when I saw the shop I was so excited that I grabbed my mom into the shop.

Well I personally love the range of skincare products featuring red wine. But cos my mom complained that I've already bought too many things from Body Shop, Natural Source and Anna Sui, so she said I can only buy after I finish using all those stocks at home. Hai...

O well, how can Jo ever leave such a shop empty-handed? Hah.. So I bought a "lime secret shine base". That's good stuff. Even my mom said so too. Well for many of you who don't know. My mom used to be a beautician. So whatever she says is good, it really is good stuff.

Another note, the Skin Food not only sells beauty and skincare products for ladies, they also have products for men and kids.

Gotta start clearing up all the skincare products I've at home. I mustn't be lazy to take care of my skin. For the sake of shopping, I shall scoop loads of moisturizer on my skin. Heheh... O but another thing is that cos this brand is still very new in Singapore so they haven't practise CRM, customer relations management, cos I wont mind to have another membership card in my wallet.

I hate Chalets...

2005-11-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

When I went to work yesterday morning, my boss Karen was asking me if I was feeling alright cos I looked super gloomy. Then later in the afternoon, one of the tutors whom I always talked to, was also asking me the same question cos she said I sounded sad. Eh.... Then just now Xiao Wei was asking me if I was ok cos I looked kinda grumpy. Ehhhhhhhhhhh...........

I really really am ok. I look very sad meh? Dunno. What's the feeling of sad? I dun even have time to think about the question if I'm happy or sad. Perhaps, perhaps... I was just feeling kinda sian these days, thinking of ways to space out my schedule. And today I'm really very tired.

Yesterday was Sharon's birthday chalet at Downtown East Costa Sands. I concluded that I really really hate chalet. Honestly... I think maybe cos I'm not those kind of outdoor lifestyle, that's why I hated it. Having to desert the comfort of my bed and luxury in my room and the cleanliness of my room too, although it's very messy, I really hate leaving my room. Best of all the chalet at Downtown East is SO SO SO STUPID!!!!!! Still gotta pay $1 for the entry. So dumb...

And I drew another conclusion that I hated Pasir Ris. That's an extreme end from Jurong West. Cos we left the chalet at almost midnight. Thank God Jarrod drove me home, ha.. but there was a price to pay cos he forced me to barbecue food for me. For the sake of saving the cab fare, I was like his slave. Dumb...

Nevertheless, I was still home. But cos both of us ain't familiar with the east, so we got lost for some time in pasir ris, trying to find ECP so that we can drive Suet home. And also Suet, the direction idiot... who dun even know the directions to her place insisted on the directions she thought which were right, but it turned out that she was wrong, we wasted so much time. Should have trusted me. So end up I was home at 1 plus in the morning.

I slept at 3am and woke up at 8am for COPE this morning. Indeed I'm very tired.

The last thing I ever want for my 21st birthday is a chalet party, but no choice la cos I wanna save some trouble. So next year I'm having a chalet party. BUT my frens need not pay the dumb "$1 per entry" fee.

A Divine Week

2005-11-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Indeed God knows it all.

The word which pst Kong shared during The Tabernacle bible study on Wednesday was perhaps an all-time word for me. The key to forgiveness is forgetfulness. Indeed forgetfulness. When Pst preached, I knew that "hey he's talking about me." Having lost myself in the busyness, there were times when I really lost myself. Frankly speaking, I hate it when the people around me are always asking me "So how are u doing?" My standard answer will always be "Very busy." What am I busy with? Work, tuition, school.. I lost the time for myself.

Everything I did was to make myself forget about the past. I wanna let everything go, but I somehow cant. I've tried so many times. Often I was so close to success when suddenly some stuff just stimulated those hurtful memories. All the miserable things that happened to Joseph in Genesis, yet he was able to forgive those who hurt and harmed him, cos God gave him a son named Manasseh---Forgetfulness. All along what I did was creating my own forgetfulness. That's not the way. I needed my Manasseh from God.

Forgiveness is to be offered to those who hurt us and to ourselves. It's him that I can't forget but it's not him whom I can't forgive. It's me who I can forgive. I can't forgive myself, for my foolishness to fall for him, for my stupid stubborn of not letting go, and for my stupid brain for not deleting him off from my memory bank. Most importantly I couldn't forgive myself cos I felt that I've let God down cos of a stupid mistake I made in my emotions.

Then when Pst shared that a preacher once said, "If God can forgive u and u can't forgive yourself, you are making yourself greater than God." Wow.... This is so mind blowing. I gotta forgive myself by hook or by crook cos I know God has already forgiven me. It's only me now. God, pls help me.

Yesterday Pst Kong preached a sermon about "releasing the glory in you." God created us with glory and it's our responsibility to release the full glory of God in our lives. We are the ultimate display of His glory. I am called to shine for God.

Have been thinking of setting up a business for quite some time, besides my dream of starting a cafe. But recently I've been getting down to planning and work liao. I've got a business plan and it's something which I've not share with many people. I'm starting a wedding planner business with Leona. This actually came before this week. The sermon this week further assured my decision.

Work releases the glory. I wanna work hard for God's glory. I'm determined to let this business be a success. It must and it will.

Well I've concluded that a woman like me, now needs nothing, besides God and my career. I'm determined to crave out a career for myself cos I'm called to shine. Amen.

I flunked my 1ST driving test

2005-11-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

What so ever.. I'm declaring... Yes I flunk my FIRST driving test.

I couldn't believe it. I was so confident yet... I "died" in the circuit, not even on the road. O well.. The story as follows:

Woke up this morning and realised that it was raining.. "Oh no.. then the roads are gonna be wet. Argh..."

My revision was alright. Did the test route 6, the hardest one. But I was really praying for test route 5 or 10 cos I find them easier and also cos I like driving around Bukit Batok, instead of Teck Whye. So went for my test at 11.45pm. We were 1st in this room to draw lots for the test route. Yucks.. cos I got test route 1 which is driving to Chua Chu Kang then turn out to Teck Whye. Sigh...

Then the testers came into the room one by one to call for their testees. Mine was a dumbo. He was calling "Chit Ying".. "Chit Ying".. No one in the room responded. Then he was reading out the IC no. Yes.. It was me. But who the hell is "Chit" Ying? HELLO my name is ChiAt Ying.

Started off the engine and drove off in the circuit. Did the S-course, ramp and parallel parking. Perfect. Then he happily asked me to drive into the directional change no. 23. Ok I did. Then suddenly his hp rang. I was very shocked and angry. So I fumbled. I struck the kerb twice inside and mount the kerb. I was a goner. Never have I mount a kerb. But I did. I was in a state of denial. Tears just couldn't stop flowing. Bluah..

Then we asked me to do the parallel parking. I was so angry that I struck the pole. No hope liao. So he asked me to drive onto the main road for the fun of it. Made a u-turn and then drove back. Stupid. He told me "It's alright girl.. This is part of life." No it's not. It's all cos his stupid hp rang. It's not my skills. It's HIM!!!!!

I'm sick again!!! :(

2005-10-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

The flu bug caught on me. Hate it. Cant remember when was the last time that I had a flu or when I was sick. Perhaps I've been fighting each day til I dont even have time to fall sick.

My nose have been running the whole day and I've been giving tuition since 8.30am this morning. Continuously giving 4 tuitions til almost 6pm. Oh.. what a job I've?!!!!! Best of all, my nose couldn't stop flowing, until I find it so disgusting.

After my 3rd kid, I still gotta bear the thunder storm and walk in the flood to go to the 4th kid's place. Argh...

Wanna go hug my pooh pooh to rest liao. Should I or should I not go school tml when I still haven study for tomorrow's IR test and also haven do my marketing, IR, econs and FR assignments? Hai....

I'm nothing without God.

2005-10-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

Happiness? What's that? It seems so far from me now. Ting called the other day and asked if I'm happy? I told her I was clueless. But deep in me I know the answer very well. I'm not happy. I'm very unhappy and I'm very hurt. My heart is aching. This thing has been dragging too long. It has ended and my hurts have to end too. 2005 coming to an end. My pain has to end before the year ends.

I've been burying myself with work and nothing else but work. I'm using busyness once again to forget everything when I've tried that and it din work out before then. Yet I'm back on this method again. I'm running away. I wanna disappear from this earth or at least become invisible that I cannot be seen. So what if I've the riches and things I like? I'm not happy.

I seemed to have lost the reason of my existence when I know God is the only one I can find the answer to everything. But I'm so pain that I even wanna run away from God cos I dun wanna blame Him for all my pain. He could deliver me, but I just dun know what I'm doing.

I thought that by psycho-ing myself everyday that nothing happen, I never knew him, he never existed or he's dead in my heart, that I'm be alright. I was wrong. I promised myself nv to shed a drop of tear over him or ever see him again. I tried. Avoiding the times and opportunity that I can see him. I suppressed my tears and ran away, but the more I did, the more hurt and painful I am. I just had to erupt in my closed room. Heartaches seem to have become parts and parcels of my life. If you asked me what have I achieved in the year 2005, my answer? Nothing but tears. My life has been flooded with tears. What colour is my life? Grey.

During overnight prayer meeting on Friday, once again I came nearer to God. Nothing new but an awakening revelation from God which served as a reminder.

I'm nothing without God. He is my creator, my source, my strength.Without Him, there wont be me. Only HIM that I'll be happy. Indulge in His joy.

I want to so much be near Him. I wanna cling onto God and not let go. God, pls hug me.

A World of Apathy

2005-10-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

It's a fact. We live in a fallen world and indeed too, a world of apathy and indifferent people. Been there, seen that. Living in a world with people of apathy yucks me. Hypocrites and lies who claims to care.. blah blah blah..

People who truly care.. I know, cos I can see it through their eyes, although my heart is dead. Wanting me to believe u care? Forget about it.

For those who really were there for me in my gloomest days, I wanna thank the people of the following:

1. My 2 Jos. I know u gals really care. Thanks for the concern.
2. My new buddy, Leona. My dear for being so much like me and for me always.
3. Sally and Cuicui.. Always there when I needed you both.
4. My JC gang: Grace, Sharon, Suet.. Hearing my frustrations.
5. My cg. I know you pple care. Thanks..

Broken heart and soul once again

2005-10-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

When I felt that this world is so dangerous, that everyone in this world are no longer trustworthy besides my parents and my home, that no matter what I go through I still have a shelter to go to, that even if the whole world hurt me, my parents will never hurt me. But satan took away the last glimpse of hope from me.

My dad would never bring me to any company functions or whatever class gatherings. I would used to think that maybe he didn't wanna bored me out, or maybe he thinks that I'm not good enough to be brought out to show his friends and colleagues. But there's was more behind all these. Everytime when I protest why I would be left home, he would always keep quiet. Now I know that he was to guilty to say a word.

It was my mom's slip of tongue this morning that I realised that my dad had never been proud of me to mention me before others, although they knew that he has a daughter. He was so ashamed of me that he had to resort to lying. My mom told me that one of the directors in the company of bragging about his son, how close they were and that his son was getting married next month. And when this director asked my dad where I was studying, my dad lied that I was studying in america. Why did he lie?

All the things I went through the past couple of weeks, I fought back all my tears and told myself to be strong and not to cry. But tears could no longer be held back anymore. My mom din know I mind and they din even realised my change in expression. Having to have breakfast with them this morning and pretended as though nothing happen was hard. My heart was ripped apart and it's bleeding. The wounded heart and soul never had the chance to recover and there it got another deep and hard stab.

And my dad commented this morning that why I'm never like him, yet in my heart I was thinking "Why would I wanna be like u, a liar?" Right now my parents are feasting at some company function and I am here alone with 4 walls.

I began to think throughout the whole day that everything in my life is deception. There's no one whom I can trust, not even myself. When everyone sees how good a dad I have and envy me, what lies beneath are things which they cant see. I can take all the scolding and hurdling from my dad, but why did he lie? I mind a lot, lots and lots. He might as well tell everyone that his daughter is dead or he doesn't have any children.

What is love? I no longer know. Dont tell me all the crap about loving others especially those not lovable ones. Dont tell me to have a heart for others cos I dun think I have one that can function anymore

An empty shell

2005-10-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

What is life? I dunno. Haven had one the past week. Busy in work, burying myself under the loads of work. I'm dealing with so many things until I think I've lost myself.

I feel so much like a empty shell. I've lost my heart and soul and appearing before others in the form of my physical shell.

How much more can I take? I'm hitting my threshold level and I'm fading away. Felt like a robot the past week. Haven shed a tear and I won't allow myself to.

I dunno anything, but all I know, I'm running away. All I see is a long long freeway with no end and I'm running.

I dun wanna think or recall. No I dun. I just wanna run. The inner me has ran away, leaving only about 30% left.

If another thing hit me, I'm gonna break, I will and I am.

Suetie's Birthday..

2005-10-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

After last sat's chill-out at the Cheesecake Cafe, all my besties from JC realised that we haven spend time together for very long and the gathering last week for too short.. So we decided to meet up today since it was Suet's bday.

Hai.. Hanna couldn't make it cos she gotta go home to see her folks in Malaysia. That leaves the 5 of us. O well... We arranged to meet at 8pm at Raffles Place to go to the TCC at Circular St. behind Boat Quay. As usual, I was late cos got stuck in church for a short discipleship. Buai.. Took a cab down which costed me $13. Buai... My heart bled but I shall not let my besties wait too long.

Only Grace, Sharon and Suet were there. Val, too, as usual was late. Haha... They ordered liao so left with me. We each other a drink and some food to share. Had TCC House Special Tofu, Club Sandwich and Smoke Salmon Linguine. Sharon had a raspberry tea, Suet had a honey latte, I think Grace ordered a Frappe which was topped with chocolate and corn flakes and I had a raspberry tea freeze. Woho.. Mine was the best. Simply love it. The rest loved it too.

Chit-chat.. teasing.. crapping.. Joking of how Suet now is "dirtied" by dengue. Haha.. Love to be with my friends. I simply love to be with people whom I feel safe with.

Val came at almost 9.30pm and best of all, she walked to Boat Quay from Clarke Quay cos she took a cab to the wrong place.. Haha.. Val changed a lot. Haven seen her for some time even though we are in the same school. She not so lady-like liao. Maybe cos of all the matches and training.

We ended our course with a slice of oreo cheesecake.. Huh.. last time I ate that with mummy, it was pretty good, but having been to the cheesecake cafe last week, well..it just can't match the standard. Haha...

We left at almost 10.30pm since Grace had to rush home and Suet too, to cut her birthday cake with her family. Yet she still grumbled that she never go home so early before on her birthday. Hai..

Promised to give Suet a birthday present on my blog..
Hey Woman... See..

Happy Birthday!!! Muack my ming ming!!

My New Haircut... A cut off my past time

2005-09-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

Had too much time left after driving before my driving lesson. Din wanna study in school, and my whole head was itching, so I decided to go for a haircut. To change a look and get a fresh start.

Layered it kinda of short, but just as long as my hairstylist cut off all the dried hair and split ends, cut off my past, and I would be like the new hair that will grow once again.

After a haircut and a wash, felt so much lighter and fresh and I was ready from my final practical evaluation. Got Lim CC today. When I saw his name, I was thinking in my heart "This time sure die la, sure to waste money and come back for another evaluation. God, please help me!" Reason was that the lesson I had with him, I made many many mistakes and really got lots of scolding. (Erh... not exactly scold la, but...)

He prepared me and said he's gonna do the evaluation twice. If I score 26 points or below, he'll pass me, which I thought was really fair and a good deal cos the actual driving test I can only pass if I score 18 points and below.

First we did test route 3. Bad.. I scored 48 points plus 1 immediate failure. Hai.. Still got one more to go. Next was test route 9. Very nervous.. We tabulated the score at the end of the route. I score 26 points, but with 2 immediate failures. Sucks.. Then Mr Lim was asking me, "How ah? Should I pass you? Should I?" Erh.. I really dunno what to say. The next moment he turned to me and said "You can go book your test date one hour later."
Praise God... He passed me. Yeah..

So now, I shall await my actual test on the 2nd Nov. Pray for me, folks. :)

My New Buddy

2005-09-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

Went to meet up with Leona, my lecture mate in ESAP this evening for dinner. Ha.. only knew her for 2 weeks and we really click. We went to shop around city link and marina square, dined at Coffee Club.

Chatted over dinner. We could just talk about anything under the sky. After dinner, we went to shop for sandles cos her slippers are worn out and she needed a new pair. We got stuck in VNC trying on nearly every pair of footwear. Hah.. she bought a pair of every Victorian Style of heels. We wanted to get the same pair so we can go out together wearing them, buai.. but my feet too big. But I bought another pair of shoes though. A pair of violet shoes with mini heels. We were so engrossed shopping for shoes that we din even notice the time and by the time we made our purchase, the store was closing their accounts for the day already. Haha...

After which I brought her to Wild Hibiscus for ice cream. Whoho.. Haven eaten their ice cream for quite some time le. We sampled a few flavours. She ordered the cookies'n'cream and I got a durian. Wo..Mine is really durian. A fun evening indeed.

Leona is someone whom I could tell everything too. We'r so alike in our personalities. In her, I see myself. Sensitive, emotional, ambitious, relational.. The things we like also sama-sama: ice-cream, shopping, pink.. My new buddy..

Oops.. some people gonna be jealous.. Cui cui and sally.. no worry k.. you gals are still my buddies..I know, you gals shall be called my buds. Voila..Muacks.

Chill-out @ The Cheesecake Cafe

2005-09-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

Suet is down with dengue. She claims to be a part of the statistics to this nation's crisis. Wanted to visit her on Thur when she got admitted into cdc, but I really am too busy. But the great news is that she got discharged today. So I arranged to meet Grace, Sharon and Hanna for dinner to celebrate Grace's birthday, then go to Suet's house to surprise her and shun bian "chong chong xi" for her. Ha.. but cos I was super late having to cheong down to Parkway to meet them, the girls really waited long for me. So paiseh. In the end, we met at Parkway then walked to Suet's house without dinner. Cos I ald arranged with Suet's mom beforehand, so we got into her apartment compound easily.

Suet din look as though she's sick, only that she looked super tanned, like roasted PIG. (O well like she said, she has been eating well in the hospital. Eat and Sleep and vice versa. Real PIG.. ahahaha) Since she is well, we dragged her out for dinner at The Cheesecake Cafe in Siglap where both Suet and I had always wanted to go try out. But now that all of us are here, besides val, it's even better.

Business was really good tonite that the place was packed so we ended up in the outdoor dining area which was along the main road. The menu came in form of a cd casing and there's a great variety of cheesecakes. They have 4 different categories of cheesecake: House Special, Classic, All-time Favourites and Others.

Ha so we ordered a cake from each of the 1st 3 categories: Peach with jelly, blueberry and strawberry oreo. Indeed the classic blueberry cheesecake is very classic. Nothing really special about it but the other 2 really captured our hearts. They are so fantastic. The cakes just melted in the mouth. Yummy.. We also ordered pasta, wings and wedges. I like the wedges too. Crispy of the outside, and very soft on the inside.

The cafe serves plain water in beautiful glass bottles and Grace was really fascinated with the bottles. I think I've seen those bottles at value store. Ha.. shall get her one for xmas. Hehe.. (one bottle only, not the whole set ah! :p)

Had a great evening of chit-chat and chilling out. But too bad the time is too short. We planning to go makan and chilling again next wk. Love to be with my friends.

Back blogging

2005-09-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

Sorry everybody, haven been blogging for very very long. Have been super busy with work and tuition. In addition, school just started in full force this week. Oh.. Not forgetting I went through some devastating moments. Hehe.. What's up? O well.. I received my results for my 1st yr. I flunked my echoing and principles of banking. Sucks.. But oh well I can still move on to year 2 but next year I'll have to take 6 papers. Diong....

So this year I've also chose to take 3 further units of Elements of Social and Applied Psychology (ESAP), Financial Reporting (FR) and Marketing (MKTG), besides the unit of Intro to International Relations (IR)which I started in Aug. Bluah.. So from this Monday onwards, I'll have full day on my timetable from 9-5 on Mon and Wed, and 9-12 on Thur. Other days I'll have to be working..

Hai..Actually thought of not working so much le but my boss Karen is really nice to me and she really trusted me lots, so she really din want me to quit. Thus she offered me the flexibility to work and that I can study as I work when the office isn't so busy.

Hai.. Really need to study. Have been thinking the past wk whether I should buy a study table to motivate me to study but my room and my house really really got no more space le. Hai.. And pa just bought me a small pathetic bookshelf to put my books and stuff which I threw all around my room. Ahhhhh.... Need a breakthrough out of this room..

Oh.. let me touch on my 1st official week in school. Monday was ESAP and FR. Bluah.. was alone for both lectures. Din have my buddies with me cos they din wanna take ESAP and wont be taking FR this yr. Hai.. But nonetheless I still got to meet new people. In ESAP class, we had to form tutorial group, and I formed a group with 3 other girls who were sitting around me. Hah.. We seemed to be able to hit off, o well not forgetting I'm the youngest. Best of all, we are all crazy pink lovers and we've agreed that we are going to wear pink to school for every lecture and be a outstanding pinky group. Hahaha....

Let me talk about my lecturers. I like my ESAP and MKTG lecturers. My ESAP lecturer is an ang-moh who claims to be a Singaporean and attempts to speak in Singlish with a very prefect english-pro accent and cracks lame, cold jokes or ask R-rated hypothetical questions. Haha.. Next about my MKTG lecturer. She's like a mother who nagged for half-hour before the lecture starts but I like the way she lectures.. very interesting. Haha.. Best of all.. I've not fall asleep in these 2 lectures. O well, maybe it's the lecturer who will engage my interest in the module. O and not forgetting my FR lecturer who's squeaking her voice at the top of the lungs, trying to sound like Minnie Mouse. Can you believe this, she was squeaking til she almost went voiceless, yet she still continued squeaking. Diong..

O and about my IR lecturer who claims to be deeply in love with political science. To me, it's boring. And yesterday my IR group did a presentation on the 1st assignment. I din volunteer my group and my lecturer approached me last month and wanted my group to present. Whatever.. Then and again I kana bombed by this sickening and highly disgusting guy called Michael. This Michael is an ultimate teacher's pet who also asks lots of questions. Pardon me but he's not a nerd. He behaves like a chao ah beng. Yucks.. Hate it. Cos I was presenting about human rights and stating that President Bush being the leader of a country who believes in human rights, went against the opposition voices and went ahead to launch the Iraq war which is against human rights. That jerk claimed that Bush did it to liberate the Iraqis who were oppressed by Saddam, and thus I was wrong to say that Bush dun respect human rights.

Dumb ...hole. Whatever. I might have take things personally but this is my battle. He posed me the question and my lecturer wanted me to answer. But before I could answer, my lecturer took over to talk about other topic. Then later he came back and asked me for my answer to that chao ah beng's question. I simply replied "Sorry sir, but I havent have the chance to answer his question. Firstly Michael has gotta get his facts right. Bush launched the war not based on the issue of liberating the Iraqis but to get rid of Saddam by claiming that his army possesses massive destructive weapons. But pardon me, has the coalition troops found any nuclear weapons of massive destruction?" So my lecturer turned to that dumb dumb and asked for his view and he claimed that the people of Iraq are freed. So I debated back that "No doubt the Iraqis are freed, but human rights was not the issue to the war. It's only after the war that the Iraqis are freed. NOT BEFORE." and I stared hard at him. He was completely speechless when my lecturer asked for his view.

Woho.. I won.. Thanks to the support of my members for me to fight that dumb X. My JOANNA'S feminist philosophy "I'll never let any dumb guy climb over my head." Trying to shame me, I'll make you even more embarrassed. Blahahaha..

Time to study hard le.

What a lovely day!

2005-08-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

Haven't done some stuff for very long. My day started super early today.

Had my driving lesson at 8am today, taught by Mr Ng. Whaha.. He's super funny and super nice. Having learnt driving for so long, he only took me for the 1st time last thur. Today is my 3rd lesson with him. Circuit courses usually very difficult to clear one. Lots on pointers to remember. That time Mr Tan also took me for circuit course. He taught me parallel parking, S-course and crank course, but I honestly din care what he told me, cos the lesson I had with Mr Ng, he already taught me and given me more tips. So I super like to be taught by Mr Ng cos super fun and also lots of tips. Cleared the entire circuit course review today. I only left with stage 4 before I take my final evaluation and my test. Also cos of this, got a small scolding from Mr Ng. Haha.. cos I've been super pia with my practical driving lessons, trying to clear everything at one shot, but forgetting that I needa pass my advance theory test in order to book for my driving test. Argh.. No choice. Gotta pia my advance theory this wk hopefully can pass my evaluation next week. And hopefully got a test date in mid Sep.

After driving, I went down to Raffles City for my 1st dental appointment in 6 YEARS. YESH.. SIX YEARS. Haha... I always dread going to the dentist. If I haven't had this free dental consultation and polish, I dun think I'll go to the dentist on my own accord. Went to the Stamford Dental Clinic. Wow.. it was a super posh clinic, yet the tv was on, showing kids central when I walked in. Haha.. I had the honor to be the 1st patient of the day. Super nervous.. so scare when I had the drilling sound.

First the nurse explained to me that the cleaning has 2 processes: polishing and scaling. Polishing wont clean the teeth completely. But scaling would but it isn't free.. Eh... Whatever.. So when I walked into the "Smile" Room, I saw a pretty dentist and her "auntie" assistant. The dentist examined and o well.. Maybe too long I never go dentist le, the tartar and dirts accumulated between the teeth cos my front gum to become super swollen and puffy and I've got ginervitis (a gum disease)... Oh no.. Hai.. Looks like I really need to do the scaling. So I agreed.

Ah... So pain. The dentist digged and poked and I bled a lot... It was about a 20mins process, followed by a 5 mins polishing process. :D I've got super clean teeth now. The dentist said I was a very brave girl.. :D Made me so shy, so paiseh.. Haha.. She said I got very healthy gum at the back of my teeth and very neat and nice teeth shape. Hee.. But this dental visit cos me $50.. Anything la..

After which, I went to shop around Raffles Place then decided to find a nice place to have lunch to reward myself for working so hard for so long and since my gum was still bleeding.. Eh.. Me decided to go Soup Spoon. Had a set meal.. a bowl of Boston Calm Chowder and a roasted pumpkin salad with a large ice tea. Woho..

Boston calm chowder..thick and creamy, full of ingredients and large, fresh, juicy calms.

Roasted pumpkin salad.. pumpkin roasted with onion and garlic, large cubes yet soft..the pumpkin melts in my mouth once it enters my mouth.. yummy.. accompanied with rocket leaves dressed in red vinegarette.. Excellent..

Top is up with a huge chilly ice tea. What an excellent lunch.. Quiet and peaceful.. Haven had such a time with myself for a long time. Nothing to care and bother, but my only care for that day was... how to get to school on time and direct... Haha.. So I took a stroll down the Park opposite Padang to take a direct bus to school. Up the bus I boarded and slept my way through til I reached school. O ya.. And not forgetting that I've become super teeth-conscious cos I'm looking into the mirror almost every 10 minutes. Whaha...

What a lovely day...

God takes Responsibility for everything in my Life

2005-08-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

Ok.. Gonna make this pretty quick and short I guess. Have been very busy this week. Having to rush from places to places everyday.

Just wanna share a little bit about what Pst Sy Rogers shared over the weekend services that caught me thinking. For those of you who dunno who Sy Rogers is, he is a man whom God did a tremendous work and miracle in him and indeed a living testimony to testify for the greatness of God. Some pointers that Pst Sy shared which I could relate and explain about all that happened to me the last 9 mths.

4 characteristics of God

God is deliberately mysterious. God desires us to seek Him and He'll conceal Himself often except to those who make the effort to seek Him. The proof of desire is pursuit. Make God a desire of our life and pursue Him. Hey Suetie.. You've gotta continue and build on what you've achieved finally in ur spiritual life but remember that your walk with God doesn't stop at where you are now. Continue to seek and pursue Him and He'll come to you.
God is unpredictable and frightening. God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours. God is like the deep vast ocean and it's impossible to predict the things He has in store in our lives. He's so unpredictable in my life that everyday of my life is unpredictable. 11 mths ago I would never have predicted that I would fall in love and be deeply crushed. Yet God made the unpredictable a reality. Scary especially when it costed me so much, having to hurt the man I loved and myself, my spiritual fall and it almost costed my life. But like I said, God is so unpredictable that He intervened at times when I never thought He would. Faith is trusting God's character even when life gives you reasons not to.
God is responsible for everything in my life. He knew on the very day He created me that I would fall in love at a very wrong time in the midst of my vow, with the very wrong man no matter how good he is. He allowed me to go through all the painful moments but yet He din stop all the things which He knew would cause me pain and left me to dwell in depression. We human beings often rage with God when things don't go our way or when tragedy happens. Yet God is a good God and He is good all the time. He shows responsibility in our lives by sending Jesus to die on the cross for us, to compensate for all the painful events in our lives which He allowed to happen. But nonetheless, things can never be undone but we can still move forward to receive the compensation which God freely gives to us.
God is nice and gracious to me. He doesn't treat me like I deserve to be. He loves me evermore despite the fact that I failed Him times and again. He values me and treasures me despite my occasional rebellious acts and disloyalty. God is indeed good and holy. For if it isn't for me, I won't have been where I am now. If it wasn't God being there for me, I wont have recovered fast and bounced back fighting for the glory of God.

God is my creator and He will take responsibility for all my life happenings cos He has planned everything in my life before He created me. God has done similarly in your lives too. Let God rule in u.

A Heart after God

2005-08-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

Service was superb today. Never felt so powered up throughout the whole svc. It wasn't hype. It was the move of God. We had a near full hour of praise and worship. Indeed, a great and anointed session lingering with God. I've never felt so good for a long long time. Revelations after revelations, visions after visions. So many things which God spoke to me. Wasn't in a super good mood today before I went for svc, but the moment I stepped into the house of God, things changed. I've never been feeling so whole for a long time. Deep down I know that I'm reborn again.

I dun think I still miss him or have any feelings for him. God has mended me and gave me new birth, cos I can wear that bracelet he bought for me without feeling anything. Looking forward to the great future which God has in store for me ahead. God, surprise me when You think I'm ready k?

Psa 42:1
As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God.

Pst Kong shared that above scripture of Psalm 42 today at the end of Praise and worship today. That was like an affirmation for God. I've been coming across this scripture the past wk, in the bible, on the net, from the hymn which Life Bookstore was playing the moment I stepped in. Once or twice maybe coincidental, but three times is surely a message from God.

Our life is a worship and sacrifice unto God. God is our source of life. How could anyone forsake life for death? God seeking for yearning hearts, hearts that are after Him, not acts. Jesus my saviour who gave His life in exchange of my eternal life. I made up my mind that from now on, everything I do, I do for the will of God. Not my will but God's will be done. No matter how hard things may go, God will always be there for me, for He's my strength. So devil, get behind my back cos I will not bow down to u or the circumstances.

Some words to share with some of my darlings:

To Suetie: hey dear, no matter what happen, how busy u get, seek God first. You gotta get out of your comfort zone. I know u'll try. Promise? No matter which church u go, u still have to build up ur spiritual life cos u'r a temple of God too. I'll be there for u always when u need me.

To Yeling: Ger ah, so proud of u and so good to have u back in the family of Christ once a again. Can see that u are making effort to build back the relationship with God. Jia you. I'll always have u in my prayers and love ya.

To my young Jo No.3: hey dear, sometimes the goings in life do get tough, especially in serving God. Things dun always turn out the way we expect and people often do disappoint us. But we still have our Lord, our Heavenly Daddy who will take care of us and the things we go through. He wont let us bear more than we could. Remember, He has made u the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. Gotta study hard and shine for Him k. Waiting to hear great testimonies from you at the end of the year. Need help, just call me.

To my dearest: really felt sad for you for the things you do and the ways you feel. u bow down to circumstances and allow them to control u, instead of taking control over them. Seeing you sliding away and hanging the the edge of life hurt me. Not that I dun wanna help, but it's more of u willing to be helped anot. You can hide and deceive the whole world and even the spiritual authorities put over ur life, but u cant deceive or hide from God. Ask urself if the things u did before, were they for God or for man? U can called to be a God-pleaser and not man-pleaser. You can put on a mask and act before men of God, but you cant hide ur heart from God. You knew that I would do anything for you, just to see u well and whole. Because of you, it costed me a close friendship and my rewards, insults from others who perceived to know u inside out. I was made to feel like a busybody. Hello? I'm not so free to be one. If you din matter so much to me or to God, I really wont bother. But nonetheless, u must wake up and stand up on ur feet and seek Him. Cant you see that the devil is already mocking? Fight back. Ask and let God deal with this battle.

If I had amnesia...

2005-08-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

So what I'm in the largest church in Singapore, 18000 members? Does that mean I wont see him even in any combine church service or big days? The answer is no. Saw him today @ SIS. I said hello but he din even bother. He first saw Emerick and came over to say hi. But I sensed that he was avoiding eye contact with me. For that moment after that, I hugged onto Suetie's arm and tears dwelled in my eyes in split seconds, but before I knew it, the tears dried up.

Was I sad? Nope.. There was no more spirit of grief. I wont allow the spirit of grief to dwell in me. So satan, get behind my back. Was I devastated? Nope.. I guess there was only the feeling of missing him. We haven sat down or hang out like we used to, for a very long time. There is only a sense of longing.

No doubt that we should live our lives with hopes and dreams, but he is certainly not one I wish to pin my hopes and dreams on anymore. I've got a great destiny in God, but somehow he's the reason that is holding me back from achieving what I can.

I too have got a future and so does he. Guess we both have been moving on, but I had the feeling of always going back to the past. I like what Pst Kong shared today. A man without a future will always return to his past. I know that I've got a future in everything but somehow I lost sight of my future on this patch of life-relationship. He was my past but who's my future whom I can look forward to. If God don't reveal a future to me soon, I think I'll go nuts for dwelling in the past.

I might have felt my feelings behind my back but memories will still stay. I hate going to the SIS cos it's the place my feelings for him deepened. I hate myself for remembering everything about him so clearly. Sometimes I really think that the only way that I can forget him is for me to get into so kinda accident and get a head injury and suffer amnesia. But to live without memories is even more painful than living with those painful ones. A person without a past will never move towards his future.

My past in him has changed many of my perspectives. He changed my view of love. Sometimes I questioned myself do I still believe in love anymore and I'm clueless. I can discuss about the issue of love but knowing is one thing, believing is another. This song on my blog illustrated my thoughts and feelings.

My memories of fairy tales is gradually melting away cos love isn't a fairy tale. I dont wanna be sitting alone in memories, having to struggle and act tough cos time cant never return to the very beginning. He stole away too much of my time. Hopefully wind will blow away all the memories as time flies. I might be able to recall, by myself, the "original me" whom I used be before I loved him but I cant never fully return to the naive and innocent "me".

To many, I may appear ok, but deep in me, I'm not even sure. I just know that God is healing me as time passes and He's making me whole once again. Yet, the crack lines will still exist even if they dun appear obvious.

Delivered from Grief and Brokeness

2005-08-01T17:58:00.000+08:00

Had a great week of deliverance services the past weekend. God delivered me yesterday during service.

It's time to give up and forget. Have been moving on yet turning back, but now it's the point of no return. Saw him on Sat but yet I pretended I din see him. Foolish it may be. Yes indeed. But no more. Wont do stupid things anymore, even ignoring him. If I'm alright, everything should just be norm. God, I wont turn back and look back. Help me to not look back.

I had to let the spirit of grief out. Those SOT counsellors had probs delivering me yesterday. Guess the spirit of grief anchored in me for too long. God, take away the spirit of grief and fill it in with spirit of joy.

Busy Girl

2005-07-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

Ok.. seems so long that I last blogged. Got ups and downs the past 2 weeks.

God is good. Got a new part-time job as a tuition coordinator. Not too bad the pay. Got commission too. My boss also quite nice to me. Managed to close some deals the past 3 days. God is really good. So if any of u out there wanna be a tutor, find me cos I got lots of lobangs. Hahah...

Super busy. Work, tuition, driving, church... Hardly have time for my parents. But even if I got time with them, they dun have time with me. Take for example today. Both of them not home yet. I'm home alone. A bit sad... dunno leh. just feel that emptiness in the house even though I'm stuck in my room as usual.. haha.. but still, quite weird to have them both out so late this hour. Usually only me out at such an hour and not them. They are usually the ones waiting for me to come home. But me waiting for them? Nah...

Best of all, school starting soon and I think I'm gonna be super no life from then on. My day then will just be school, work, tuition. I dun even have time for my driving. Argh..............

Feel so sian now. Super no mood. Dun feel like watch tv or talking to anyone. Dun talk le. Blah...

You Only Have 1 Life to Live. Live It!

2005-07-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

A Question which I've gave some thoughts to today besides sleeping and eating. What would my life be if I never come to know Christ? I'm sure I'm not the only person to ask such a question.

Since I become a Christian, life never seems to be able to return to where it used to be. Daddy got pretty upset when he saw me working into the wee hours last night trying to finish up my data entry assignment. He said our family doesn't need me to make a living or livelihood. I should be studying and enjoying my holidays at the moment and not working and wearing myself out. Wait til my parents see my account balance. Sure to scream.. Come to think of it.. I used to be pretty rich before I came to church.. Haha.. But since then.. Eh... not forgetting that since I took control of my bank account, I started to spurgle.

Life before coming to church was pretty ok. I was always the super good girl who never go out with my friends. Perhaps once 1-2 months. I used to be that super obedient girl who goes straight home after school. My family used to go shopping every Saturday and Sunday, bringing my grandparents out for meals. Basically Saturdays and Sundays were family days and also for me to go for my pipa lessons.

Since my family got saved and me going JC, life took a dramatic turn. Saturday is always a church day. I could go shopping and makaning after school with my friends.. Weekday evening used to be struck in front of the tv to chase after dramas after dramas. But since I got saved, things changed a little when then, every Thurs evening was cg meeting. As I became more involved in church, Saturday evenings got bible study. As time flies, Wednesday and Friday evenings got bible study and choir pracs. Church became my second family.

Moneywise.. As I grew, I learnt the importance of tithing and the law of sowing into God's kingdom. Since I came church, I've been through every pledge. Emptied out my account many times to sow into the works of God. Most of my friends and relatives don't understand why I gave so much to the church. They always say things like"City Harvest already so rich le still need u to give money meh?", "Why u give so much? The church force u one ah?", "Your church cheat money is it?", "Why ur church always ask people to give money?", "Why ur church so expensive?", "Why must pay money then can go church ah?" and etc etc.... I've always been explaining and answering to such questions that I realised that there's no point explaining to some of those who are super ..... I'll only explain to those who are really interested to know.

If I never know God, or become a Christian or get rooted in CHC, maybe my life would just be ordinary and plain. Getting glued to the TV everyday after school, go shopping with my parents every Saturday and Sunday for the whole day, maybe my account would still be very rich cos I wont needa tithe and give offerings or plegde, won't have to work so hard everyday after school, probably sleeping my days away during holidays, shaking my legs everyday, waiting for my dad to give me money whenever I demand( O not that my dad dun give me money when I asked, but maybe I'm just not so dependent on my dad as I used to although I'll still ask for money when I really really need them.) And also never needing to fast and pray and deal with all the spiritual warfare stuff. But then life would really just be mere ordinary, mediocre.

Everytime when my family is late for family dinner or whatsoever, my relatives will sure pinpoint at me. "Must be waiting for u in church la.." Or when I turn down every class gathering or reunion, my friends will say "Ok. We know. It's ur church again right?" O well, blame me, but that's my commitment which many people don't understand, not even some of my Christian friends.

Given a 2nd chance, I would make the same decision without any regrets. You only have 1 life to live. Make a wise choice and live it. Life is never a bed of roses. There bound to be ups and downs in life. But as a Christian, God already prepared us that there'll be trials and tribulations in life, which means to say that as a Christian, there'll be more challenges in life, eg dealing with the realm of the supernatural. As a Christian, I got to study the bible in depth, which not a non-believer would do. The Bible--the word of God, is a book of wisdom with many things to discover about life and God.

Since I got saved, life is full of excitement with all the ups and downs. All the conferences and seminars, big days and carnivals, concerts and crusades, cell group, service, ministries and bible study. Life is so fulfilling. Although I've sowed so much into God's kingdom, the church, etc..., but I do know that everything I do and give, I do it unto God and what many people don't know that God's blessings are always flowing in my life. I am building up treasures in Heaven. I believe that God has pathed my life and have great thing planned for my future. If God din provide for me, how am I able to give? God love me so much that He gave me His only son to die for my sins. So what is my giving to God?

Another great thing that happened to me since I got saved is coming to know of so many people who love and care for me. I did think that if I din get saved or come to church, I won't have know him and probably I wont needa go through so much pain. But then, it's all God's plan for me to know him. Maybe not a regret after all to know him. O and not forgetting all my besties, Joanna, Joanne, Ris, Ting, Angie, Sheena, Ying Jie, Hwa Hwa and so many more, not forgetting Jesus my best friend. I'm truly blessed. Every relationship has to be build upon God.

I only have 1 life to live and I'll live it to the fullest for God. I doubt I'll turn back to the world although it is so much more comfortable, it has no purpose and meaning to live in the world. There have been more gains than losses to live for God. Live a purposeful life.

Declaring War

2005-07-17T01:58:00.000+08:00

I really find it hard to describe my last 72 hours. It was like me been in heaven and hell. Emotionally and spiritually challenged.

Dunno why since thur nite, I had a super insecure and uncertain feeling and I started to cry myself to sleep again before I realised it. I hated this feeling. It was a signal that I'm gonna breakdown any moment.

Then went for the fan club gathering on fri. Ok.. saw Jeff Chang. Held hands and shook hands and once again he was impressed with me. But honestly, I wasn't really excited. Something is definitely so wrong with me. I won an imported CD of Jeff's live concert in HK with Joey Yeung. Well Verline and May were so happy cos I helped our team to win 2 out of the 3 games we played. Supposed to be happy but inside me I know I wasn't. Winning the cd to me was just like a bonus from God cos I din really expect to win anything or whatsoever. One thing I know that since the day I felt in love with him, my life was nv the same. I guess he was the reason why I wasn't even excited when I was so close to my idol.

After that, rushed home to give Tony tuition. Super fedup cos his mom couldn't come pick him on time so he got stuck at house until super late that I couldn't go for my pilates. Sux.. It's the 3rd lesson I missed. Argh.... I hate it when things dun work my way.

Then after which I still gotta fight my way thru to go for the overnight prayer meeting cos pa din want me to go esp when I got COPE the next day. Had to get my mom to go too so forced to promise to help her do housework before going OPM. Argh.......

Things simply din go my way. So many things screwed up. Stupid devil is attacking me really hard on the eve of the Arise and Build. Bloody hell devil... Go to hell. I had several panick attacks since thur nite and that I would unawarely tear and cry for no reason and fear and insecurity and uncertainty creeping in me. Felt really pressurized yet I still had to force myself to put up a strong front before my parents and cg members. I really cant take it anymore. Gonna break any moment.

Broke down completely before God during OPM and service today. Plegded a super by-faith amount for the upcoming Arise and Build and gonna sow my precious to God. Excited about it cos I really dunno what God has in store for me the next 6 mths.

But one thing I do know that I still have God's strength to depend on. I failed God once, I mustn't do it again. I know that this period of time will not be a bed of roses, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm of certain importance to God, that's why the devil is trying to crush me down. The more the devil tries to attack me, the more I'll fight back and bounce back even harder.

Satan, know what? I declaring war with u. YES, war. Bloody hell u go cos that's why u belong. Go and die SATAN. U are forever a loser and I'm made a victor in CHRIST. God will surely have the final victory.

Jo woo, gotta stay focus the next few mths and years. GOD is my primary love.

My 1st Foot Reflexology

2005-07-12T11:52:00.000+08:00

Just came home from supper with my uncle and auntie.

Today's Cheryl's birthday, but o well, it's just a little girl's birthday. Heehee. Went over to Aunt Alice's place for Shawn's tuition. Then after dinner, my dear Uncle Allan wanted to go for foot reflexology. Ha.. and guess what, my uncle and aunt brought me along. So exciting... Foot reflexology.. Have always seen those celebs doing foot reflexology on tv and screaming at the top of their lungs. Wondered if I would scream too..

We went to IMM to have the reflexology. Cos it's my 1st time doing foot reflexology, aunt alice arranged a female masseur for me. They said it wont hurt so much. And uncle and aunt had male masseurs cos they got more strength.

O well it din really hurt so much. Not really pain. Only my big toes and the side of my ankles. I used to think that the louder and more u scream during the reflexology, the more unhealthy u are. But I was wrong according to the masseur. The healthy u are, the more u will scream.. But I still dun believe it. According to the foot chart, the acupuncture point on the big toes and ankles are related to the head, temporal area and knees. Since I felt acute pain at those points, I really think that the more pain u feel, the more problem with concern to the related points.

When aunt kept asking me "pain anot?" No leh... Me got quite high pain tolerance level. I was still bragging that I wont be screaming at the top of my lungs cos it's not pain. But I simply had to eat back my words. Aunt's masseur wanted to disturb and tease me so he grabbed my ankle. Still acting tough so I kept saying "NOT PAIN." I asked for it, cos then he grabbed even harder and harder until I really wanted to scream and beg for mercy. Whahaha...

After which, I had the back massage. The masseur just sat on me and massaged. My neck and shoulders are so stiff. So pain. I was in so much pain that my mouth was opened so wide that I stretched all my mouth muscles to form a CAPITAL "O". I was too pain to scream out loud. Hahaha...

Not too bad an experience. But just couldn't help to compare this experience with spa. Reflexology is more of a pain relieve thing through acute pain pressure while spa is more of an enjoyment and relaxation through gentle rub and touch massage. Heh... I think I would prefer spa to reflexology. More comfortable and make me smell nicer. Ha..cos after the reflexology, I smelt like medicated oil.

Uncontrolable tears and anguish

2005-07-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

I am super sore loser in life. Everything in my life, I look upon them as a challenge. Either I succeed and win or fail and lose. I hate the feeling of losing. I'm afraid of losing and falling cos it hurts. So many times I failed and lost and I always tried to fake to be alright. But always, my tear glands would fail me and tears will betray me. Cant seem to control of tears in times of failures although down right in my heart I dun feel a thing at that particular instance.

I hate my vulnerability cos it's hindering my growth. I know I'm emotionally very weak. Not that I din make an effort to grow it stronger, but everytime when I feel stronger, I bound to face failures. Yes, I know that life isn't a bed of roses. Failure is the mother of success. When will success come?

Many times I feel horrible and tears would uncontrolably be secreted and cry in public, mainly because I am angry with myself. I'm upset that I'm not able to do a better job when I'm assigned to, to cause mess-ups and failures. Alex said it was cos I always have super high expectations of myself and always trying to meet man's expectations. That's why I'm very hard on myself.

Take last year's chalet bbq for instance. Things were messed up not by me but cos I was the food IC, I got upset when things dun turn out the way I wanted them to be and as I've instructed others to do. I was devastated on the spot when things were in a mess even after giving repeated instructions to others. Then I wasn't able to handle everything personally cos I had a test on the day of the chalet. I was upset with myself for not being able to handle the things personally and causing things to screw up. Though it wasn't badly screwed, to me, as long as it isn't perfect, it's screwed. Hated it when others to heed my advices to result to the screw up. Alex said I shouldn't feel bad as long as I've done my best, even if it's not as perfect as planned.

Perfectionist in some ways I guessed. Especially when it's comes to the area of food and cooking, which I've a flare in. I'll never present sub-standard food to ruin my reputation (although I welcome critics). But I guessed I screwed it today. Tried controlling my tears but I failed again. Had a super bad habit of denying to devastation. Nonetheless, was upset not with others. It's no one's fault. It's just me. Very disappointed with myself. Thought of never gonna cook again or experiment new dishes. Never want another failure. Sheena said she will be my guinea pig when I come up with new dish, but I told her maybe no more new dish liao, I'll just fry an egg, or boil an egg cos boiling no need oil and no need to wash up so hard. She told me I shouldn't give up cos if I don't use whatever God gives me, it'll be taken away.

I just need time to overcome today's failure. Daddy always says that if Thomas Edison gave up trying after a few times, we wont have electricity and light bulbs le. I wanna be like Edison, but I just new time to rest and heal before I make my next big break.

Love is like driving

2005-07-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Had the inspiration after driving lesson today.

Both driving and love are learning processes. No one is born to know how to drive and no one is born to love in a relationship.
When one first start to learn driving, he has gotta know what kind of vehicle he wants to drive, manual car or auto-transmission car. In love, before anyone starts a relationship, she must know what kinda guy she wanna date. Both are about decision-making cos at the end of the day, the end result will determine the future in the long run. Eg. if one learns to drive a manual car, he is about to drive a mini-van, manual car and auto-transmission car, whereas if he chooses to learn to drive an auto-transmission car, he can only drive an auto car in future. Similarly, the type of person one chooses to date will determine her happiness in future.
To start driving a car, one must first put the key in and turn it to ignite the engine. To start a relationship, feelings must first be put in. Feelings is just like the fuel in the car that keeps the car moving, which in this case, love.
When I first got hold of the wheel, I was super nervous. Well I guess newbies in driving and freshies in a brand new relationship both will give people gitters. Hence it takes a lot of courage and a super big step of faith to be able to start both right.
When I first stepped on the accelerator, I got so excited that the car started to move. When I first started driving, I was driving at 20-40km/h in the circuit. Gradually I stepped up and started driving at 50-70km/h. That's only when one is confident to try at that speed if u just start learning to drive. Similarly, a relationship takes time to accelerate and grow. I dun believe in instant passion and lust. Both processes should never be rushed. For instant, when u can even drive properly and u start to speed at 140km/h, what will happen? Accidents.. car crashes... tragedies... If the love in a relationship isn't developed gradually and advanced into a higher level based on impulse, most likely the relationship wont last.
In both driving and relationship, if something is wrong or when u go into the wrong direction, step on the brake immediately. Although in driving, last min braking is not advisable cos it's super jerky and pain esp when u jerk so hard that the safety belt pulls on u (how I know? cos I always brake last min til my every instructor also complain..heehee), it's still better than moving on when u know it's wrong and dangerous. In a relationship, the same theory applies. When u are in a wrong relationship, what's the point of moving on when u know it's pointless and unwise? U will only be more hurt. Step on the brake to prevent further hurt and danger. How I know? Been there, done that..
At the end of the whole learning driving process, one will have to take the driving test and pass it in order to get his driving license. In a relationship, a couple just have to pass all trials and challenges along the way in order to move on to the next level which is marriage. The marriage cert is just like the driving license, allowing us to move into a brand new level in life.
Both driving and relationship take lots of responsibilities. As a road-user, u are responsible for the safety of urself, other road-users and ur passenger. As a lover, u are responsible to ur spouse, to God and to his family and friends and ur family and friends, not forgetting urself too.

Be a responsible driver. Be a responsible lover.

What a dumb day!!!

2005-07-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

Yesh... Today is such a dumb day. Met up with Siyin and Belle after tuition this morning to go back to primary school to visit. Have been a very very long time since I last went back to pri school. Ald 6 yrs le. The last time I went back was in sec 2. So that day when we went out, we had the sudden urge of going back to look see look see when we talked about those days in pri school. Those were the days....

As Belle and I was strolling back to school, we were like walking on Memory Lane. The mama shop is still there. It hasn't changed a single bit. When we went back, the only person we talked to was the security guard. Shoots... So sickening. The security guard refused to let us in, not even to step into the canteen which is 1 metre away. Arghh... We were still craving for those food we used to eat in those days. But that security guard just refused to let us in and also refused to help us call for some of our teachers cos he said they were very busy preparing for camp. And we saw that some of the food stalls in the canteen are still there. Ahh... but we still cant eat them.

He refused to let us in cos he said it was by the order of the principal that no outsider is allowed in the school compound. HELLO? US? OUTSIDERS? We spent 6 years in there and we know every single inch of the school compound better than the guard and the STUPID principal. And know what I sort of indirectly know that dumb jerk. Robin Ong. Know what it's such a small world cos his sister is aunt nancy's best fren and I've actually dine with his parents and sister too and his parents quite like me. Hah... whatever... they are nice people but not his son. Most of our teachers left bcos they find him too unreasonable. And heard from Belle that one of her mom's frens' son is studying in our pri school and this stupid jerk would demand all the students who are not performing in school to get out and transfer. Hello? He's defeating the purpose of education and is not fit to be an educator.

As we left, we saw a banner hanging outside the school saying "Yuhua Fundraising". Phew... Since he considers us as outsider, even if I got the money, I wont give a single cent. Super big PHEW!!!!!!

So we walked down to the market nearby for lunch. Haven been there for quite some years since I found out from that neighbourhood. We used to go to the food centre there for lunch after school and my family used to go there for breakfast every weekend. But guess what.... We were in absolute denial when we saw what was before us. The market is being demolished or at least it's closed for renovation and upgrading. All the food stalls are gone. Some of the stalls were relocated to a temporary shelter on this piece of small empty land across the carpark. Know what... the stalls were just relocated TODAY.... Ah..... So zhun!!!!! Most of the stalls are not ready yet. Only got 3 food stalls operating. Sux.... In the end... we ended in the McDonald's which we used to patronise when we were in pri school..

What a day we had!

A Free Girl to Be...

2005-06-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

Jun 30th marks so many things to me.

End of my 1st 24hour fast which ended 6am this morning but I only had my first meal in the last 29 hours at 10.30 am today.
3rd anniversary of my water baptism when I was born again.
most important, the day when I end my vow. By the grace of God I finally managed to pull through to the finishing line of this race.

Met up with Suet, Grace and Val for lunch today. Went to this modern European restaurant called "Six & Seven" in Marina Square. Great atmosphere there. There are many new restaurants there. Great place. Nice food there. Cheap too. Set lunch only $8.90.

cream of tomato

grilled boneless chicken thigh

panfried fish in cajun spices

spaghetti marinara

Celebrate my end of vow? Not so... Grace asked how it felt to end my vow. O well... Din feel anything. It's just another day. No special feeling I guess. In actual fact, I dunno how I felt. When Grace asked me so how the both of us are, I told her those few incidental meetings we had. She advised me that we should not continue on like that. Why should I take the initiative? I'm a girl after all. Shall let God decide.

After lunch we went shopping. Many new shops there. O well a compulsive shopaholic like me.. I only buy when I want to, and when I need to. So bought a bag this particular shop and 7 tees from Esprit today.

Well when I went out with Siyin and Clarabelle yesterday, Bel kept blaming me for causing her to splurge. Hello? For all ur very info, I din force her to shop or anything. But both Siyin and Belle said I'm a splurging factor cos everytime go out with me, they'll surely splurge. HELLO? How often do we meet lo? The last time we met was last year during Chinese New Year and they came my house then after that we went JP Body Shop and they started splurging there cos I got the VIP card. They said they splurge bcos of all my membership cards but then again, they din use any of my membership cards yesterday. I somemore kept advising them to stop splurging. I din even spent a single cent ytd when I went out. Only today lo.

After shopping today, had to rush to pick Shawn from school. Was late for 3 mins and he was waiting for me in the general office. Sorry la. Then after piano lesson today, went for dinner with Uncle Allan's family and my parents cos today uncle Allan got his new MPV, Nissan Presage and we all took a ride in it. So comfy and big..

Home after dinner. So wat a day to end my vow. My biggie... But a free girl now.

How I really felt? I think I wanna pray for a miracle and a fairy tale but will that happen? I dunno. Do I miss him? I dunno. But I'm really glad that I was able to end this race by the grace of God although I fell along the way and was hurt badly. But once again, I'm made whole then so be it. I love God, I love Jesus, and I love myself. Life is full of love.

O but one saddening news I heard today from Val, that my 1st 3 mths classmate in JC jumped off a building and committed suicide bcos of BGR. Though wasnt really close to her in my years in JC but still felt weird after hearing that news that someone I knew died. Life can be fragile.

Say Cheez

2005-06-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today before cg, we played the photo-hunting game "Say Cheez". Cg was divided into 2 teams, headed by Sheena and me. Shiyi, Terence, Jeremy, Gabriel and Jarred were on my team. We start at abt 1.20pm and had about 30 mins to go around Terence's neighbourhood to search for people who fit the theme of the photos which we were to take.

When the game started, everybody ran around the estate like lunatics, searching for targets. My team ran around Terence's estate and Sun Plaza and managed to take 5 out of 7 pictures in less than 20 mins. Then as we were running back to Terence's block from Sun Plaza, we met up with Sheena's team as they were going towards Sun Plaza.

baby in a pram

a person strolling his pets

2 youths sticking out their tongues

a girl with at least 3 earholes

a person eating ice cream

Competition got more intensed when we took our 2nd last photo, cos we saw Sheena's team running back to the playground where teams were supposed to take the last photo of the whole team. Ah........ Denial hit me when Guanzheng came blocking me. Argh.... Wanted to charge over me like a bull. Hahaha... But I din. So in the end, Sheena's team took the picture 1st and they finished 1st. But....but....but....Sheena wasn't in the picture. It's supposed to be a photo of the whole group. So.. we presumed that their pic wont be accepted, so we happily strolled our way back to Terence's house. Haha....

at least 3 people playing sports

my team

Upon the tabulation of score, my team scored full marks. Sheena's team... o well... not all their pics got full marks, but bcos they came back 1st, they got a bonus of 10 points... But..but..but... then again, cos Naresh and Guanzheng were both on her team and they were late for cg today, so Xiaowei deducted 10 points from them. Whahahaha..... So....My team won by 2 points. Hahaha....

The losing team had to do a cheezy pose for us to take pictures. Whaha...

Cheezy?

After cg meeting, we had a time of fellowship with cheesecakes and pandan cake, and not forgetting cheese snacks which Sheena bought from Japan.. What a cheezy day... Hahaha...

E205 Roxz

Car & Emotions Crashing Day

2005-06-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

Ahh... was woken up super early by Mom. Why? Cos daddy's handphone died on him this morning. Completely couldn't switch on or charge. Arghh.... Because of that I think I lost 15-20 mins of my beauty sleep...

Then went for driving at noon. Hai.. Din have any breakfast or lunch cos I rushed out of home, having to find the warranty card to daddy's hp. Argh... Din have dinner last nite, no breakfast or lunch. Argh.... was super hungry lo. Still gotta rush to apply for my PDL (Provisional Driving License).

Today's driving lesson was a completely disaster. Learnt to steer left and right in the circuit. Argh..... It was disasterous. Had so many car crashes onto the humps and krebs. And cant seem to brake properly. Always braking so hard. Ahhhhh..........

Then my instructor kept complaining, "See? Your car is crooked...Where are u looking at? Must see far." Fine so I tried to adjust the car and look far, but the moment I looked far, my car slanted to the side and vice versa.

Then my instructor was playing with the air con in the car, switching on to full blast and blowing at my eyes. Denial.... I was wearing contacts and it made my eyes super duper dry.

Spent the entire lesson of 100 mins driving rounds in the circuit. Was totally demoralised by my instructor. Actually I was expecting to cover 3 subjects today, but only managed to cover one and wasted my time to apply PDL today. Hai.... Was in a completely drenched mood today.

Was half-dead when I left the driving centre after the advance theory practice. Went to Causeway point to fix dad's hp and decided to go Burger King to lunch, which was at abt 4pm. So bursting full after eating the meal. Yet after the meal I still dun feel happy.

Then went to teach Shawn piano with low mood. Hai... so sian....

The Stayover and Makan Sutra in the East

2005-06-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yoyo... have been so bz that I haven had time for my friends and family. It's has been so long since I last saw my bestie Suetie. Already half a year liao. The last time we were together was 2 Jan. So long... Not solely my fault cos last time this stupid girl fly my kite when the rest celebrated my birthday. We supposed to meet long ago but I bz and she moved house.

She moved from the west-Clementi to the east-Katong... Diong sounds far... But ok la... cos Singapore so small mah... I went to stay over and her place last nite. Had dinner at her place. Her mom cooked for me specially. Like I always said, Mama Ho loves me more than Suetie... Naninanibooboo.......

Her place quite nice, but small la, but condo is like that one la.. But the one thing I hate about her place is that there's an Indian Temple opposite her house. The chanting sound was driving me nuts during dinner. Siao liao... Having to live with it is torturing....

After dinner, her mom wanted to cut fruits for me but Suet din wanna eat fruits so she told her mom dun want, then of course I paiseh to say yes mah... I very shy one wo.... And Suet is completely disgusting. That time she still said she started to do housework and wash dishes since she moved house. Hello..... What a big fat lie.... I'm the guest lo, and yet she only wanted to wash her rice plate only, dumping her soup bowl and my plate and bowl for me to wash. HELLO...... I'M THE GUEST....... Her mom immediately took my dishes to wash and said "Aiya Xueming never do housework one la. Dun listen to her." Yaya... cos her house got the dry and wet kitchens where both each got a sink, but they only supposed to wash dishes in the wet kitchen sink. But stupid Suet went to wash her plate in the dry kitchen... Hahahaha....

After which we went to take a walk in the vicinity. Hello... I seemed to know the place better than Suet lo. Aiya also cos I always go to Katong and Upper East Coast to makan mah... We walked down from her place to Upper East Coast Road.. Walked down my eateries which I always go with my family. Then we explored the area. Wanted to walk to East Coast Park, but we dun seem to be able to find the underpass to ECP so we stopped at the fitness corner in a nearby housing estate. So we went on the spacewalker and started chatting. Not long later, we decided to walk back home to catch the 9pm drama. Hah...

When we reached home, Mama Ho just finished eating durians. Ha.. wanted to buy her some earlier on when we were strolling down Upper East Coast Road, but Suet said her dad bought a huge basket the nite before. Haha.. So as we were watching the drama, I was eating durian... What an enjoyment....

After the drama, it was around 10pm liao. Then we went for a swim in the tiny swimming pool in her condo. Wo.... the water was so cold. Tried teaching Suet how to float, but she dun seems to be able to float... Argh... what's with her... so high density... Had some spiritual talk in the the pool. Suet, must grow strong k...

After shower, I had to do my work while we were watching tv. While Suet is such a pig. It was ald 12 plus midnight, she said she was hungry. Had 2 bowls of soup and a quarter of a cheesecake. I only had a small tiny mini bite of it lo. So sinfully to eat so much at such late hour.

We chatted into the wee hours. Slept at 3.30am. I was woken up by an sms on my hp at 9.40am, finding no one in the room. So I went round the house to find Suet. But there was no one at home. As I was about to give up my search, I found Suet sleeping in her brother's room. Reason: she said she couldn't sleep the whole nite cos it was too cold in her room. Ha.. cos I used to sleeping in aircon room liao, but Suet cant slp in aircon room.

Left her place at around 11am and embarked on our makan journey in the east. We kicked off with a bowl of laska at the corner of the street near her house. Katong laska No. 49.. Sa dup... Yummy... After which we hopped onto bus 14 to Bedok to eat and eat again...

2nd stop: Bedok North St 1 Blk 216, Bedok North Food Centre @ 12pm..
We had the famous Chai Chee Ba Chor Mee (Mince meat noodle). Ah... it's so good. No wonder so famous... And we also had Nasi Lemak.. It's only so-so. We ordered it out of a herd mentality cos we saw many pple eating it and there was a long quene in front of the stall. Only the chicken wing is nice la..

3rd stop: Bedok North St 1 Blk 207, Bedok Central Food Centre @1pm.
This makan centre is just next to the bus interchange. Been there a couple of times le, but had something different this time. We had to eat fried prawn hokkien mee, but we saw many pple eating this stall selling fried kway teow, so we went on with the herd mentality. The stall is "928". So simple stall name with super good food. Yummy... We also had the special fried beancurd from this chicken rice stall which Claris ordered her chicken rice from last time. So-so only. We ordered it cos Suet wanted. I wanted to eat glutinous rice balls but Suet dun eat them. Hai... Shall go eat it with someone else in future.

Last stop: McDonald's. 1.40pm

Ordered a medium cup of ice tea. Wanted a large one but Suet dun want. Fine... Chat and chat and crap...

Had so much fun with Suet. We arranged to go Teaspa next thur on the day I end my vow. Relax... As we parted, Suet suddenly remembered that the cheesecake she had last nite was actually for me. Last nite we still thot it was her bro's. But this morning before her mom left home, she told her that she bought it specially for me. Suet, u are so sickening and disgusting. U deliberately want to kapor the whole cheesecake. I just knew it. It was her evil conspiracy to offer me with the packet of vitasoy this morning so that I wont have space for the cheesecake in the morning. Hello... I was going home liao then she told me the cake was for me. Still got 3 quarters left lo. It's from the Cheesecake Cafe near her place. Disgusting!!!!

Ho Suet Ming, know what, if I dun see a fresh cheesecake next thur, I'll upload all ur photos on my blog and the whole world shall see it.. Whahahahaha.....*Bie bi wo*.....

So hungry now. Haven had dinner today. Nothing to eat at home now....

Happy Daddy's Day. Love my Pa...

2005-06-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Fathers' Day...

Slept til noon today. Super tired the past few days. But nonetheless, today is Father's Day. Dragged myself out of bed and washed up, then crawled over my dad to peck him on his cheek and hugged and cuddled him like I used to when I was a kid. Haven done that for some time. But I just love doing it, cos I'm daddy's precious princess. haha...

Then we took out the cake my dad's boss bought for him yesterday. His Boss bought Father's Day cakes for all the directors. How thoughtful of him... Hee.... and I saved up money too... cos no need to buy cake... hahah...cheapo...

The Father's Day Cake

Haha.. I tricked my dad to act cute to take his photo and after which I told him that I'm going to put it online to show the whole world and he felt cheated... Hahahah.... Yup .. I know.. I resemble my dad..

Din have time to have lunch with my dad. Needa go for cg. So rush down to meet my parents at Causeway Point. Bought him super early dinner at Sakae Sushi. Then I insisted to go into this very particular shop where u can make ur own soft toy. I really wanted one of my own. Then dad said he wanted a panda bear. Cute and unique and it was the last one. So I wanted to buy him one, but then on a 2nd thought, he din want it cos I've got too many soft toys at home le. hehe..

After which, I went over to Chantal's place.. So.. this is the Father's Day I gave my pa..

One Flaw in Women

2005-06-19T01:47:00.000+08:00

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak,"
the Lord corrected,
"that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
.
1 Corinthians 13 : 4 - 7....." Love is patient & kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love, does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Poor Fishies

2005-06-13T16:49:00.000+08:00

Went to farmart on Sun with my family. Farmart is somewhere in old Chua Chu Kang, and along that road, there are many farms. So fun and exciting cos I've nv been to a farm in Singapore although I've been to farms in other countries. Mom said I was like a kid let out of "prison" after decades--- mountain tortoise... Whatever.... There were so many shops there, and there's a pond for prawn fishing, a bee farm etc....

When we came past this farm shop selling guppies, Shawn wanted to buy the guppies and we could fish for our own guppies. So we went to the back of the shop to fish for guppies. I was helping so much fun that I really wanted to fish for my own. So I asked dad and he said ok. So yippee, I was fishing while mom was choosing which guppies are nicer for me to fish. Finally caught 10 beautiful ones. 10 for $12, plus 5 more free. Wooooo...... So excited as the shopkeeper was packing my beautiful fishes.

Then we proceeded to the next farm, the vege farm. It's like a huge market selling all sorts of vege and fruits. All so fresh and cheap. And there was a nursery at the side of the vege farm selling all sorts of flowers. I saw huge pots of sunflowers and dragged my dad over. He almost bought me a pot of sunflower but it was too huge and we dunno where to put it. If we put it outside my house along the corridor, sure kana stolen one lo. Hai... Guess will only be able to buy it when I moved to a bigger house.

In that vege farm, there was a giantic fish tank and in it were many giantic fishes. There were 4 arowanas, each as large as 10 year-old kid. Super big. So scary lo...

Then we went home to put my beautiful fishes in my fish tank where there were big promfets. Mom said that we should put the guppies in a separate tank but dad said no space liao, so I poured all my guppies into the big tank. Dad said the big fishes will eat up all my guppies. Argh... I bind that in Jesus' name.

But true enough, when we came home after dinner, my 15 guppies only left with 5. Ahhh.... Total denial...... Worst still, this morning when I woke up, all the 5 also gone. Ahh.... There goes the $12. Dad said it was an expensive meal for all the big fishes. Ah.... my poor fishies. I indirectly caused their death. If I wasn't so hyper and excited at that instant, I wont have bought them, and they might still be swimming happily in the fish tanks in the shop. So sad....

Emerging: Feeling Reborn

2005-06-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

Have been really busy the past few days. Well, tuitions, work and Emerge Conference. This year's Emerge conference was very different from the previous years. Not so much on the preaching but more on worshipping. Pastor Kong wanted all of us to focus on worshipping God. It's a very different experience. Beyond words description.

Just as Ting said, I've been crying too much, too many buckets of tears for him that I guess my tear glands got immune to my emotions. But the past 3 days, I've been crying buckets again. Not for man, but for God. Was crying so much since the 1st session of the conference.

The greatest reward I got from this year's Emerge was a deeper love for God. Felt God mending back what have been malfunctioning in me. Revelations after another, visions and dreams filling me once again.

I've been so imperfect, yet God took me in as I am. Many a times I failed Him, sometimes even badly. But nonetheless, He still loves me evermore. There were times when I turned away from Him, yet He sought me back. No one could love me more than God. The deepest thought that struck me since the conference was what would happen to me if I dun have God? I guess I wont be where I am now. I cant imagine a life without God. If I haven known Him, maybe I'll be living a purposeless and meaningless life. Yucks...

Many people I know on the outside seem ok, yet many of them are empty on the inside. Yet they dont realise the fact that what they are really missing out in life and instead they go around searching for the wrong things in life to fill up the feeling of emptiness in them, like worldly relationships, man's approvals... etc... Hello people, give urself a chance to know God. He's the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He created you way before u knew about it. Only God satisfy u and give u the answer to eternity.

O well, yet I do know that maybe some of u might wonder if God can satisfy me and fill all emptiness, why do I still feel so miserable the past 6 months. HELLO.... for ur info, me not empty lo. I was just rebellious in my spirit and stubborn and lost, yet I din dare to seek God's guidance cos I felt unworthy of it. But my thinking was wrong cos God's grace is so great that it can abound all things. I may be unworthy yet God loves me so much that He sent Jesus to redeem all my sins.

God created me to be His worshipper. Yet becos of some setbacks, I slackened myself on that. But now I'm coming back and I'm all the more determined to do it. 20 days to go. Go go Jo. I just had to set my feet right back on track in my walk with God.

Upon hearing all the testimonies of the various pastors and zone supervisors, I began to look back on my walk with God since I first began. I used to have great dreams of what I could do for God. But I gave them all up when things fell apart. But now, these dreams and passion and visions are coming back. However, I still think that I should take things slowly. God will lead and direct my path. Besides, I'm still on my way to full recovery. Soon, soon, soon.... I'll be back on my feet to fight this great fight of faith. Amen!

First Hands on the Wheel

2005-06-10T15:46:00.000+08:00

Wowo... Had my first practical driving lesson. It's so exciting. First time I drove a real car. I was driving around the circuit, learning how to make turns. So nervous.. I was so afraid that I would crash the car. Thank God me and my instructor are safe.

Kick kick..Punch punch..

2005-06-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

Just came back from my kickboxing class. My 1st lesson. So fun.. had a great workout. Now I feel like punching something or someone.. Maybe myself.
Completely sweat myself out. Sweat out my pain. Looking forward to my next kickboxing class.
Something funny happened just now. Chantal's shoe sole came off 5 mins into the lesson. Haha.. So malu...

Umeya

2005-06-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had a great time fellowshipping for my members after cg. Guanzheng, Terence, Shiyi and I went makaning at the food court at Sun Plaza. We talked so much, anything under the sun. I never had such great time with my members in W161, besides that time with Ting and Max. O well... Gone is gone...

After makaning, we stood at Umeya House (a titbit stand which sells all sorts of plums) trying all sorts of dried fruits associated with "mei" (chinese of plums or berries). I got hooked to the dried strawberries(cao mei). So special. There's also love fruits (ai qing mei) and lover's fruit (qing ren mei). Terence and I bought the caomei, Guanzheng bought ai qing mei and Shi Yi bought the Xi Prune (xi mei). Haha... what a "mei" day.

Then we went to NTUC to check out the prices for the pasta event. We spent so much time in there and brainstormed so many things which we wanna do. And know what GZ very fan leh. And also very off lo. He very insistent that we muz try cooking pasta with oyster sauce and making Chinese tea to go with the pasta. Siao liao. So off lo.. Hahahaha...

Had a fun time today. Ald a month in E205 le, time really flies cos it seems like I've been there for a long time.

Me? A tai-tai? No. I'm just a princess-wanna-be.

2005-06-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

Me? A tai-tai? Maybe I am a tai-tai in some ways bah. But deep down in me, I'm not and I dun desire to be one. I only love to indulge myself occasionally, erm say perhaps 3 times a wk? Haha.. Maybe that's too much.. But I just love to indulge as and when I like and when my mood of indulging comes.

Well I prefer to be called a princess rather than a tai-tai. Why? There's so much differences between both.

The life of a tai-tai only sleep and eat, shop and relax, and play mahjong. Always doing the same things. So boring. A tai-tai got no dream and things to look forward to, besides how to spend their day everyday. A tai-tai grows to be fat and ugly and always has those kinda bee-hive hairstyle. So ugly. Tai-tai got no brain one lo. Yucks. I dun wanna be one.

The life of a princess is more or less the same, except that princesses are more open to new things and are more vibrant. A princess more elegant and those sophisticated one got brains lo. Haha.... I wanna be one with brains and can enjoy life yet work the jobs I like.

I'll die if I were to live like a tai-tai everyday. I'll be bored to death. At least I sometimes do like to work.

Yesterday when Xiaowei heard that I got pilates class on Friday, she said I very tai-tai leh and asked if I got any other tai-tai activities such as yoga. Eh... Yoga, pilates and aerobics aint tai-tai activities anymore. These activities are open to the public liao. These are all sports lo. When I told her I got kickboxing lessons too, I guess she couldn't believe it.

Well I just love to live an indulging yet purposeful and meaningful life. But somehow not all the people around me know how to indulge and enjoy life the way I do. Different people have different ways of enjoying.

Ok I had to admit that I'm kinda pampered and I love to be pampered yet not totally pampered to be those totally ignorant idiots or spoilt bratz.

I love going for spas and facials, going for high-tea in hotels, shopping for branded stuffs (only certain things and certain brands) or even just shopping and going home with my hands full of bags, love to go for musicals and spend a day in some good atmosphere cafe with a bunch of my buddies. Well no one taught me how to live such a life, and my mom isn't so approving of the way I spend my money on spa and facial and branded cosmetics and beautycare. My dad is ok with it. But both of them are ok with me buying branded clothes. Cos my dad always buy branded clothes for my mom. O well.. that's why they are ok with it and I'm all the more ok with it cos my dad pays for my clothes. I love shopping with my dad cos he pays for everything. Cant wait to get my credit card in 9 months time. Having debit card really also not much of a kick.

Well, I know I'm kinda of a "bad" influence to some of my buddies. I taught Suet how to watch musicals and shop for beautiful earrings, taught Sally and Chantal and even auntie Alice how to go for spa and facial (not that Auntie Alice dun go for them. She used to but haven gone for them after Cheryl was born. So I inspired her to go for her 1st Spa in 3 years or maybe even 6). I taught Ting how to go expensive restaurants, taught Ris how to smell nice perfumes and rot in cafes.

And bcos I've got so many membership cards in my cardholder which is already exploding, and of which, one is the Body Shop card, so Sally and Chantal also went to apply for the Body Shop card. Chantal only applied her card 2 wks ago. And I just read her blog. She went to The Body Shop to shop today again and spent so much. In 2 weeks, she ald spent $300 plus. Gosh... I led her "astrayed". Now she's indulging herself with The Body Shop products. Eh... If she goes bankrupt bcos of it, I'm a little tinny-mini bit indirectly responsible la.

Well and also cos I went to make the research for yoga classes, which indirectly dragged Sally and I into the kickboxing class cos Chantal wanted to learn kickboxing.

Hai.. Am I good or bad? I think I'm good. At least after all the indulging I still have the brains and might to wanna work hard and save up, and to serve. At least I still do household chores and cook.

My princess dream is to wait for my Godma to come back from New Jersey and buy me a car and give me the money for me to setup my cafe.

Once again. Me not a tai-tai. Just that I love indulging and pampering myself. I'm just a princess-wanna-be.

A Jo-jo Day!

2005-06-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging the last 2 days. Busy working. I was so happy last nite cos today no need to work and also no tuition. A day solely dedicated to myself for me to do my things. Yipee.

Finally got to sleep in today. Have been waking so early these days even after my exams. Haven had a day which I slept past 10am. Well today I did. Actually I intended to sleep past mid-noon but woke up around 11.02am and forced myself back to sleep again and I really thot I did but when I opened my eyes again, it was only 11.18am. Aiya no point forcing myself back to sleep, besides, then my brain was filled with what I planning to cook for dinner tonite.

Pulled myself out of bed and went to make a club sandwich for myself for brunch. Yum... Then watched some tv...eh... maybe slightly more than some bah.. Painted my nails, did the laundry, marinated pork chops and fish steak for dinner, changed my bedsheets, made a birthday card for Jeremy which I almost forgot, cooked dinner, washed up and did a hair mask. Well sounded quite a lot I did for a slightly-more-than-half day.

Actually I had so many things which I intended to do today, but I guessed I over-estimated myself. Wanted to do a face mask in the day, play my piano, practise my pilates, vacuum the floor and blog. But din have the time to do all in the day. So I'm blogging now and going to do my face mask later. There's so many things I wanna blog about. My thoughts are exploding.

Tomorrow got tuitions and pilates and next wk emerge conference. Guess I better blog them all down tonite.

Well I kinda like such a day when I'm all alone at home, no one to bother me and I can do all my stuff. Everytime when my parents are home, I'll never like to do housework cos my dad simply dun like I can really do them and will always snatch my stuff and also they always complain and nag so much when I do household chores. So I rather rot in front of the tv in their sight and do all the work behind their back.

My parents loved the pork-chop which I fried today. Created a new recipe and just tried it out and it turned out to be a success. Not too bad, but I still think I can improvised on that.

Well so I guess, today is a semi-Jo day.

O not to forget, I got another job lobang today again. So blessed. Thank God for all His favour upon me. Love You God. Thanks for loving me so I can love myself and the people You've placed in my life too.

My Kitchen Playroom

2005-05-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

So beaten now. Had a super long day today. Did so many things.

Started my day with a morning tuition then went to Auntie Alice's house for lunch, when we decided to bake carrot cake and make sushi for the day.

So after lunch, we went to see Dr Loke for our appointment. While waiting for Auntie Alice, I played table-tennis cos Emerick and Nigel were playing when we arrived at ah ma's place, and Shawn wanted to join in the fun. The last time I played table-tennis was when I was in sec, during the cca orientation try-out. Well.. I've nv learnt how to play table-tennis but I really think I'm gifted in it cos I played rather well.

After Auntie Alice was done, we went to JP to do some marketing for the ingredients to make sushi and carrot cake.

So the minute we got back to her place, I taught her and Ann how to bake carrot cake. We made 2 cakes today.

While waiting for the cake to be baked, we starting preparing the stuff for the sushi. I thought auntie Alice knew how to make sushi roll (maki) but when we began, she said "Jie jie, u go wrap the sushi for Shawn. I dunno how to roll leh." Eh.... but she said they always make sushi at home. Well the sushi they usually make were the handrolls and sushi balls made from sushi moulds.

Hello, the last time I rolled a sushi with my mom at home in our kitchen was when I was in primary 5, which was like 9 years ago. Diong..... Nonetheless, with my forever-trial-and-error spirit, I did it. In the end, I made most of the sushi tonite and also taught auntie alice and ann how to roll a maki. Well.. what can I say? God gave me a gift in it too.

I just love to cook and bake in Auntie Alice's house cos I dun needa clean up and hear all the nagging from my mom. And also thank God for Ann, the super spontaneous maid, always ready to clean up and clear the mess and also responding to my every single request instantly.

Made the sushi for them to eat then had to give Shawn tuition cos he couldn't wait to play counterstrike after tuition. So fedup with him. Made me so angry. Never learn spelling still lie to me and throw temper at him when I wanna punish him, then he locked himself up with I wanna cane him while uncle allan was leaving home for work just now. My uncle forever so soft-hearted. Over-pampering his son le. Asked me to talk nicely to him but I heck care him la. After him left, Ann gave me the room key to unlock the door and I scolded Shawn and caned him gently on his leg 4 times. He wanted to bargain with me, but for more strokes instead of less. Siao la. Wanted to whack him even harder but just let him off la. Made him stand on one leg through the whole lesson.

After tuition, I continued making sushi while Shawn was in the shower, until my mom came. Shawn is really a sushi-nuts. He ate so much sushi until his stomach so round. Diong diong la. Packed some sushi home for my parents. Dad said his lowest sushi-expection is from Sakae sushi, and not mine. Well indirectly saying that mine not as good as Sakae's one, but I think he likes my sushi although he din say it.

If I got time, I shall invent more.

A busy month ahead

2005-05-30T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, May is coming to an end. Survived many ordeals that in the last month, my exams, my change in cg, well and also a huge test of self-control. Lalalalala.... I'm a survivor. Body still aching after that day's pilates class. Kickboxing coming up. Siao liao. I think that's gonna be more physically demanding. Help help help........

Well as I was looking through my schedule for the month of June, I realised that I'm really packed with many events. Starting work and juggling with tuition leave me with no time for my gym. Well supposed to go Suetie's new house for a swim on this coming wed, but gotta work. Hai... Long long nv see her liao. Actually supposed and planned to do many catching ups with many of my friends this holiday, but looks like I've gotta cast them aside for a while. Needa earn back my driving lesson fee.

Emerge coming up, followed by COPE's fathers' day big day gathering, cg retention weekend: AGAPE, Shawn's bday chalet, Chantal's bday party...... the list just goes on and on. And guessed what, I just discovered that Shawn's bday chalet cum bbq, Cg AGAPE and COPE's father's day celebration all fall on the same day, 18 Jun. Ahh......... How am I gonna split myself? I'm in such dilemma now. How? Now I really pray that God'll give my grace and wisdom to help me through la.

Even if I managed to convince Auntie Alice to celebrate Shawn's bday on the 19th, it'll fall on Kaiqing's bday which I dun think they will wanna celebrate Shawn's and Kaiqing's bday together, besides, Chantal having her 21st bday party on the 19th too. Ahh...... How how how?

I wanna go Singapore Great Sales. Wanna go buy so many things, but no money. Hai... So sinful to ask a poor shopaholic to go shopping especially when sales going on everywhere. My next few weeks will just be work, tuition, church, cg and that's it. Not forgetting that bible study starting after Emerge. God, strengthen me and stretch me. I think I shall see how I can manage my time after trying out for a couple of weeks bah. Ultimately, I still wanna play and have fun this holiday.

What's your thinking style?

2005-05-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Modifying
Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you.You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion.
You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested.You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning
You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.
An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's" Your Thinking Style?

My 1st Pilates Class

2005-05-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

Ouch.... Just had my 1st pilates class. Initially very easy, but then as we go into the lesson, super tough liao. So straining on my abs and back. I really wanted to give up, but never. God din create me to be a quittor. I shall practise hard and catch up the next lesson.

Hai... Starting work next week. Starting next wk, my life will only revolve around church, work and tuition... Ahhh....... No more time for myself. I wanna go shopping. But cant. No money liao. Need to input before I output. So many things that I wanna buy especially during this Singapore Great Sales. I want money. Gotta save up for my driving and also get geared up for the building fund. And I still needa call Ms Cheong back for my piano lesson which I've stopped for almost a year. God, rain and pour down money and blessings. I shall update my wish list again.

What Planet Are you from?

2005-05-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.

You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.

Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.

You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.

If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

What's your love style?

2005-05-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's" Your Love Style?

Which proud princess are you?

2005-05-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

You are a perfect princess! You are every queens dream, amazingly beautiful, a joy for the spotlight and your dream is to get married and have a proud royal family. If any paparazzi come after you, one wink and an innocent smile is all it takes to dumbfound them. You have an immense sense of duty and would never go against the wishes of your family. You spend your time flicking through magazines looking for the latest clothes and jewellery. This doesnt mean youre an airhead though! Behind your striking appearance lies an amazing mind. You have the ability to conjure up the wittiest sayings and are immensely intelligent. Such a combination of intelligence, creativity, power and beauty is often intimidating to those around you.

A Friend

2005-05-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

A Friend... is a tissue when you can't stop crying

A Friend... is a shoulder when you feel like dying

A Friend... always listens when you have something to say

A Friend... is a week when you need a day

A Friend... is a crutch when you have a brokenheart

A Friend... is some glue when everything falls apart

A Friend... is a sun when the rain just won't stop

A Friend... is your'mom when you run into a cop

A Friend... is a phone call when you can't leave your home

A Friend... is a hand when you feel all alone

A Friend... is a wing if you want to fly

A Friend... understands without knowing why

A Friend... is an ear for a secret to tell

A Friend... is an aspirin when your head hurts like hell

A Friend... is a love that can never let go

Finally exams over

2005-05-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

Praise God. Finally pulled through all my exams and now awaiting me is a 3 and a half mths of holidays. Hurray... Although got holiday, my schedule will still be kinda packed. Yet I still wanna make extra money. God, rain down money over my life otherwise my output cant tally with my input.

After exam, went for lunch at Raffles Place with Sally and Chantal, then after that Chantal and I went to open the "long-awaited" UOB campus account. Took so long there cos gotta wait for the person to register the internet banking for us cos their system was down. Diong...

After that, we went for our spa at Green Sanctuary. Hulala... Did the spa wisdom detox treatment. It's a foot soak with a body scrub followed by a body mask and completed with a full body massage. Praise God for the invention of spa. After the massage, I felt so rejuvenated. All the nodules built up by exam tensions all cleared. Sheena said that my money was screaming to bless her and not for me to do spa. Haha.... Well know wat, spa long existed since the ancient Roman times. Spa is a kind of healthy lifestyle to promote physical and mental well-being. My skin also felt so fresh after the mask.

Now I'm waiting for money to let me go do my facial next month. Gotta indulge myself completely before the next building fund. Well and also gotta start saving up for my trip to Australia this Dec. Dunno how again cos might be going during Xmas. Wasn't in town for xmas last year and already caused so much unhappiness. This year dunno how.

Ice Cream

2005-05-18T17:27:00.000+08:00

Just heard this from the radio:

A research study in UK discovered that eating ice cream can really make a person happy. During the study, researchers found that when one eats a mouthful of ice-cream, all the sensory neurones and nerves that are related and associated with happiness will be activated.

No wonder everytime when I'm down, I craved for ice-cream. Especially those expensive ones. Haha

What is marriage?

2005-05-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

couldn't resist the temptation of the vcd lying on top of the player, so decided that I shall just watch it. What was I watching? "Shall we dance?" Well it's a typical type of Jo-watching film, drama and romance.

Really like Richard Gere. Find him very charming for a man of his age. Well, just find him kinda charistimatic with the way he speak, smile and dance. Hei hei... Yesh... Dance...

The way him and J. Lo danced was like some kind of fairy tale ballroom dance. Well.. I guess I'll never dance so gracefully. Bluah.... heehee...

Ok that's not the point about this entry. Wanted to share something which knocked some sense in me from the movie. When Susan Sarandon suspected her husband Richard Gere of having an affair, she hired a PI to follow her husband and one question she popped to the PI was "Why do pple get married?"

The PI answered "For passion." Susan's answer was "Marriage is to witness someone's life. There are a few billion people on earth and you cant possibly witness everyone's life and you cant witness your own life. Your spouse will be like a mirror reflecting who you are for you to witness his or her life and yours too."

Felt that makes lots of sense. Why over the years divorce rates keep scaling? That's cos too many people are getting married for the sake of getting married, for the sake of instant passion, for responsibility, for incentives, for the sake of others and age pushing them to be married. Nonsense. Rubbish.. Such marriage wont last long. Well not all such marriages wont last, but over 90% of marriages based on the above reasons dun last. Statistics have shown that more and more couples are seeking divorce within 5 years of marriage. What's wrong with this society? It's sick. God please help this world.

I remembered that I once heard from the radio 3 years back and I still do remember abt it cos it's kinda interesting that the passion, chemistry and intense feeling of love would normally last for at most 18 months between a couple if the relationship isn't maintained by both party. Hey dear all out there, know what I think if ur present relationship is less than 18 months long, it's nothing. It's only after the 18th month then will the tough gets going. So the most important part of a relationship is the time after 18th months cos that's when a relationship get really stable.

Dun marry someone whom u got an instant crush on, cos when you marry someone whom u hardly know abt, u may not be able to find urself in that spouse. I believe the spouse in ur life is a decision which u make by choice and this choice will reflect the kind of person who u wanna be or even who are you in life. Just like the bible which allows us to reflect on ourselves daily, a good spouse will be able to do so too.

I never support or agree to pre-martial sex, cos I just dun feel right abt it. Virginity is something which God gave to everyone to be presented to the someone special of their life on their union day. It's holy and sacred. Yet so many people abuse this gift. When pre-martial sex isn't in place, the reason of marriage due to responsibility will not exist then.

The whole worry is so big and yet to be able to find the person of ur life will be a great blessing. And that person of your life will just have to be the perfect witness of ur life and u for him.

Read an email about the missing rib and I believe that many of u would have read it too. Well I really do believe that God created man and woman in a perfect pair whereby the woman is created from the rib of the man. The rib will only fit into the perfect cage and not any other Tom, Dick or Harry's rib cage. Give some thought to that.

Finally got the joke

2005-05-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

Ytd pst Phil shared a joke during svc 3. Everyone in the congregration were laughing while we the choir members on stage were trying to figure out what pst said cos we couldn't hear clearly due to the feedback on stage.

Thank God for Claris. Now I dun have to wait for John or Terence to find it out.

Haha... Pst was kinda "bad". Teasing his daughter-in-law.

He shared it only when she wasn't in the hall. Hahaha..

He was saying that the name Leah (which happens to be his daughter-in-law's name) used to mean crossed-eyed cow in the ancient hebrew, haha but now it means beautiful lady.

Haha...

Thank God for choosing to use me.

2005-05-15T19:40:00.000+08:00

This weekend was a very delightful weekend. Finally seeing fruits in both my full-time ministry.

There was an article in the Straits Times on 9th May 2005, Monday, commending on us COPERs. Yipee... Finally making an impact to the society. I shall continue to shine for God. Hey guys, know what, COPE is a very meaningful and purposeful ministry. If any of u out there interested to join COPE, let me know. Life will never be the same when u are a COPEr. For ur info, my mummy just joined COPE. Finally she got a ministry after being in church for so long.

Felt myself growing stronger each day and more deeply-rooted back to my choir ministry. Was once feeling super detached from it, but now I'm back again. Ever since Benny Hinn's Crusade, my view about my ministry was never the same again. And once again, God sent Pst Phil to affirm that in me. Choir is a creative art ministry, yet it is a very important ministry. One weapon which God gave us to fight against the world is PRAISE. Being in the choir, it is very important for us to build up the spiritual atmosphere in every service. Yesterday during service 3, pst Phil prayed for all the people in the creative art ministries, which included the choir. As I was standing in front of the altar waiting for Pst to pray for me, I was trebling and tearing and before I knew it, Pst Phil's hand just laid on my head and I fell under the power of the Holy Ghost.

Pst Kong said that the praying and laying of hands aint just for encouragement, but it's for the impartation of power through the anointing.

Amen.

I decided to go on vow to focus myself on my ministries. Now that I've, thank God. Ytd Pst Phil also shared that when we make a vow to God, keep it. Eh... That must be for me.

Faith Comes by Choice

2005-05-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

A wearing week of exams, a great week of faith-evaluation. Praise God for all that He done for me throughout the week.

This week of exams made me realise that I've actually grown so much in my trust in Him. Finally I can say I'm almost back on track. I've never felt so calm ever before for exams. Never. My last exam was my piano exam. Well I had to admit that even during my A's, I was still quite nervous even when I know I could trust in Him.

But this time, well I simply lift up everything into His hands. Well cos I've seemed super calm this week even when I never finish studying, Sally and Chantal kinda dun believe. Well I too was surprised at my calmness. But seriously, the week before, I really felt stress and yet calm. Well why? Cos I've got the Holy Spirit as my Comforter.

Motivated by Sheena, I bought the latest Hillsong United CD. I love the last song in the album "Awesome God". Simple yet powerful.

Our God is an Awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above, with wisdom, power & love.

That's it. The lyrics for the whole song is just the above. I was so blown away when I saw the lyrics and in no time, I found myself singing it all the time.

Some things which I like to share with you guys out there of the things I learnt during Pst Phil's conference and weekend services this week.

Anxiety is the most difficult emotions to rule. Worries and fear are like weeds, you dun need to make any decision for them to appear in life, but FAITH comes by decision. Make a decision to sow that seed of faith in life. Faith was the factor for my trust in God, that everything in my life is in good hands. Phil 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus." Amen and amen. This was the scripture which held me up through my stats exam on Tues. And through the whole week, 10 minutes before and after my every paper, I just laid hands on my paper and lift it up in prayer to God and believe that He'll take care of it. The other scripture which sustained me throughout the week was 2 Tim 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
The level of our complaining indicates the level of our capacity. Complaining is the language of victims. Well... I had to admit that I'm a super procrastinator. God, I repent. Pls pls forgive me. Wanna be a VICTOR, not a victim.
Trial produces patience. We need to be strong to endure hardship and be long-suffering. Strength is formed in tough times and through tough things. Well my life for the past 4 mths was indeed a great trial. 1 and a half more mths to end this trial. "Jo, u just had to endure it." Well this whole week had been travelling to expo for my exams. It's always kinda torturing and super gitty to pass by Bedok every morning. Well I just have to endure it for the one last time next wk and maybe I wont have to travel pass that place anymore.
Be alert at all times and awake to every are in life cos the devil will seize any and every opportunity to destory God's people. Hey devil I phew u. U sux. U belong to hell and not here lo. What makes u think that I'll still let u find a chance to destory me. Although I had to admit that my alertness slackened in my area of relationship during my vow to cause my breakdown, I still am trying to get back on track. God is putting me back so, phew u devil. Dun u dare lay hands on me. I'll bite u. Ruff.....

Well there are so many things which I wanna share about the things which God spoke to me during service and conference this wk. Love pst Phil. Praise God for creating such a great man and sending him to be a great fren of CHC.

A great afternoon of rotting...

2005-05-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

hurray... Down with 4 papers. Now only left with POB next thur.. Well praise God for the whole week of strength and peace and wisdom.

Had lunch with Claris this afternoon at raffles place (well... more like tea cos by the time ris reached, it was almost teatime). Went to the coffee club at raffles place. Love the environment there. It's almost exactly the kinda of cafe I wanted to open. A glass house in the middle of nowhere. We just sat in there to rot from 2.45.4.20pm... we talked and ate and thought... then I came up with a very stupid idea... ask him out for dinner... Got ris to call him.. well I guessed God foreseen it all and planned it all that he couldn't make it cos he gotta go attend svc 1. Okok.. I know I said so many times that I'm ok ald, but perhaps there was a little self denial in it. The past wk of studying while listening to the radio... his name just kept popping out through the day in song dedications and etc.... well I had to admit that his name is a common name but seriously I've never came across his name at such high frequency. Even Shawn's classmate in kindergarten has the same name. Wanted so much to sms him on his birthday, but dun feel it's wise. Ald got ris to do it for me liao and also ernest to do it indirectly. Throughout the week there were so many times of distress that I really felt like picking up the phone and call him to comfort me and encourage me like we always used to.. but I din dare.

After lunch, we strolled down from Raffles Place to Orchard Wisma... Well it isn't as long as it seems. We took 2 and half hour to reach wisma, stopping at many places in between. Was in a super walking mood today, but not shopping. We went into Stamford House cos it has been so many years since I last stepped in there and I made many wow wow discoveries.

Discovery 1: Had always hoping that our church would have a Christian library, like national library but national library cant have christian books. Cant afford to buy all the books which I wanna buy lo. But thank God, I found it unintentionally at Stamford House. It's called Whale's Belly and to our surprise, we found many CHC related products. Upon enquiry, one of the parterns for that library is from CHC. Wow....
Discovery 2: Found a pretty lovely bridal boutique there. Hey Sally, I think u can go there to check it out for ur bright pink pom pom wedding gown.. haha.... cos I saw they even have red gowns in there.
Discovery 3: Found a super neat place where I could hold my 21st bday party next year. Shall not reveal too much... U'll find out IF u get the invitation next yr. Even if u dun get the invitation... I still want my presents. heehee... (Hey Ying Jie and Suet, where are my bday pressies? Mid may liao leh...)
Discovery 4: Found 2 shops which sell all those super ex beautycare products. Those kinda shops which I would typically go in.. which u pple branded them as Jo's kinda shop. If u know what I mean.

When we reached Wisma, I finally collapsed at Coffee Express. My eyelids were dropping. Haven have enough sleep this day. I guessed I used up all of energy for the day then. So having rot there for another 1 and half hour, I finally decided to go home.

Yawn... Sleepy liao...

Something to say

2005-05-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

So sian now. Still piaing my econs. 98% clueless abt the things that I'm reading now. Sucks. Sleepy yet i only studied 1% of the stuff. God save me....

Living in a practical world yet I know emotionally I'm not practical. I know I may feel norm on the outside but now I really am clueless about my feelings to everything in life.

So many thoughts I wanna pen down yet no time. Shall blog them all after my exams.

By the way, Sally is getting engaged. Knew about it last week but din blog abt it cos Chantal haven know til ytd. Hahaha.... :b... Chantal blogged abt it ytd but her com hang... Haha... Shall fill u people with the other details abt it soon.

God, I just need the wisdom and spirit of discernment to pull me through tml for econs just as You did for me today. Pls God...

I love my new Cell Group

2005-05-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

Has been a wk since I last blogged. Well a week kinda short but yet seems long.

Been in my new cg for a wk. Well din get to see them everyday in the last 7 days, but cg meeting last week and the fellowship after svc just now was really fun. Haven had such great time with members. My members are all very nice pple to be with.

Sis Xiaowei's dad was suffered a stroke this morning and was admitted into the hospital. She had to rush down to the hospital just now after svc. Yet she din tell us anything before the svc and acted like normal, putting on her big wide smile. She din want her problem to affect the members. She only told us abt it after svc. I think many of the leaders in the zone also dunno.

Just finished synchronised prayer with Sheena, praying for Xiaowei's dad. Really felt that Xiaowei is indeed a woman of strong faith. Will be visiting her dad tml after cg.

Thank God for putting me in E205.